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UNIVERSITY  OF 
IUINQIS  LIBRARY 

AT  UR2ANA-CHAMPAIGN 
"-L  HIST.  SURVEY 


jJU^H.  &f,     /f/3 


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'ri- — 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


All  that  is  good  in  human  nature 
we  are  taught  by  our  friends;  every- 
thing the  world  esteems  comes  to  us 
through  our  friends;  whatever  is 
worthy  in  man  or  woman  is  due  to 
our  friends. 

As  it  is  our  friends  who  have  taught 
us  what  we  know  of  a  Heaven  here- 
after, so  it  is  they  who  hold  in  their 
hands  all  that  makes  this  earth  a 
Heaven,  since  love  alone  unites 
Heaven  and  earth. 

And,  though  love  without  friend- 
ship is  a  futile  creature,  its  wings 
spread  for  flight,  there  can  be  no 
friendship  without  love. 


THE  WEALTH 
OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Compiled  by 

Wallace  and  Frances  Rice 


With  a  Homily  on  Friendship 
by  the 

Rev.  F.  W.  Gunsaulus,  D.  D. 


Chicago 

Brewer,  Barse  &  Company 
MCMIX 


Copyright  1909 

By 

BREWER,  BARSE  &  CO. 


To  All  Friendly  Folk 
Who  Know  the  Value  of 
a  Smile  That  Their 
Number     May    Increase 


FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


FRIENDSHIP  is  a  religion  between  two 
human  souls;  the  truest  religion  is  a 
friendship  between  the  human  and  the  di- 
vine. Revelations  of  the  divinity  in  human- 
ity occur  when  God  is  the  great  personal 
friend  of  man.  These  higher  discoveries  oc- 
cur according  to  the  same  law  that  operates 
as  between  human  beings  in  a  spiritual 
friendship  when  each  makes  a  revelation 
not  only  to  each,  but  of  each  and  within 
each  other.  There  is  no  such  challenge,  at 
once  awakening  and  commanding  to  all 
that  is  chivalric,  sweet  and  strong,  as  is  of- 
fered by  a  true  friend  approaching  the  soul 
of  a  man  through  these  ministries.  It  is  im- 
possible to  keep  the  forces  of  friendship  out 
of  the  realm  of  religion.  Whenever  any  fine 
soul  touches  the  subject,  he  forces  his 
thought  of  it  into  the  region  of  ethics,  ador- 
ation, worship. 

It  is  only  the  greatest  literature  that 
sounds  truly  the  keynote  of  friendship. 
Antony  may  have  over-estimated  Caesar, 
but  Shakespeare,  greater  than  either  of 
them,  was  too  fine  a  dramatist  to  withhold 
from  the  tongue  of  Antony  greater  words 
concerning  him  than  the  Caesar  of  history 
will  bear.  And  so  one  of  the  profoundest 
utterances  ever  made  concerning  man,  or 
about  friendship,  was  that  which  the  silvery 
speech  of  Antony  bore,  when  standing  near 


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FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


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Caesar's  corse,  his  voice  faltered  with  his 
feelings,  as  he  said: 

He  was  my  friend,  faithful  and  just  to  me. 

So  also  when  our  American  poet  of  the 
abstract  utters  something  of  what  he  knows 
of  this  relationship  of  souls,  he  simply  puts 
into  the  language  of  the  ideal  what  Shakes- 
peare made  real  in  the  eloquence  of  Mark 
Antony : 

Oh,  friend,  my  bosom  said, 

Through  Thee  alone  the  sky  is  arched. 

Though  Thee  the  rose  is  red; 

All  things  through  Thee  take  nobler  form, 

And  look  beyond  the  earth; 

The  mill-round  of  our  fate  appears 

A  sun-path  in  Thy  worth. 

Me,  too,  Thy  nobleness  hath  taught 

To  master  my  despair. 

The  fountains  of  my  hidden  life 

Are  through  Thy  friendship  fair. 

All  such  words,  taken  like  these — one 
from  the  real,  the  other  from  the  ideal — will 
illustrate  the  fact  that  friendship  worthy 
the  name  is  founded  on  truth.  If,  as 
one  poet  sings,  a  friendship  be  streaked 
with  colors  of  the  ideal,  it  must  be  a  true 
ideal,  lest  the  friendship  become  a  beautiful 
dream,  which,  however,  ends  in  nightmare. 
Such  an  ideal  there  must  be,  else  friendship 
can  not  be  true.  For  with  all  the  roots  that 
every  friendship  has  in  the  real  world,  and 
with  all  the  demands  which  every  friend- 
ship makes  on  the  soil  of  practical  life  in 


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which  it  is  rooted,  it  is  a  sad  lie  if  some- 
where it  blooms  not. 

How  can  it  blossom  without  a  true  ideal? 

So  the  simplest  beginning  of  a  human 
friendship  begins  in  the  ground  of  service, 
one  soul  to  another,  and  it  operates  like  a 
germinating  seed  on  the  faith  that  there  is 
atmosphere,  and  a  sun,  and  a  sky  above  the 
ground  in  which  it  shall  bloom.  In  friend- 
ship, as  in  all  the  life  of  man,  the  practical 
seems  to  suppose  the  ideal,  as  everywhere 
the  finite  hints  the  infinite  and  the  human 
yearns  for  the  divine.  He  who  shuts  off 
the  infinite  sky  from  above  me  is  most  un- 
true to  me.  It  is  as  fatal  to  my  true  life,  as 
though  he  had  taken  away  the  finite  world 
from  under  me. 

Friendship,  like  life,  must  have  the  prac- 
tical and  real  for  its  rootage,  the  poetic 
and  ideal  for  its  fruitage. 

All  friendship,  like  all  life,  has  its  growth 
between  these  realms.  It  spreads  its  arms 
and  shoots  forth  its  leaves  in  that  air  which 
is  the  interflow  of  what  is  and  what 
ought  to  be — the  real  and  the  ideal. 
It  cannot  separate  itself  from  either.  If  my 
supposed  friend  imagines  that  he  can  cut 
loose  from  the  world  and  human  life  as  it 
is,  and  befriend  me  by  dwelling  altogether 
in  what  ought  to  be,  he  deceives  him- 
self, and  I  find  him  to  be  but  the  ghost  of  a 


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FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


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friend.  Absolute  truthfulness  to  the  fact 
that  as  matters  really  are,  I  have  a  body 
and  its  needs,  temptations  and  desires  that 
fasten  themselves  on  the  earth;  that,  being 
on  the  earth,  I  must  have  to  do  with  citizen- 
ship, politics,  trade,  marriage,  home,  and 
the  reform  of  this  world — this  is  the  somber 
fact  that  marks  the  place  where  our  friend- 
ship must  root  itself. 

On  the  other  hand,  absolute  truthfulness 
to  the  fact  that  as  matters  ideally  ought 
to  be,  I  am  a  soul  able  to  climb  up  to  God; 
full  of  potencies  which  it  will  take  an 
eternity  to  unfold;  that,  being  heaven-des- 
tined, I  have  to  do  with  beauty,  divinity, 
ideality,  and  the  atmosphere  of  pure  spirit, 
— this  is  the  luminous  fact  that  marks  the 
place  where  our  friendship  must  pierce  the 
soil  of  the  limited  and  bounded,  thence  to 
rise  unto  its  own  fruitage  in  the  limitless 
and  the  free.  I  grant  that  this  latter  realm 
must  be  the  circumambient  air  in  which  th® 
solid  and  prosaic  earth,  on  which  our  friend- 
ship roots  itself,  must  roll.  The  ought 
to  be  must  always  be  the  boundless  at- 
mosphere of  what  is;  and  he  who  is  thus 
true — to  fasten  with  his  thought  my 
thought,  to  unite  with  his  feeling  my  feel- 
ing, to  join  with  his  will  my  will,  unto  these 
realms,  the  real  and  the  ideal,  is  my  friend. 

To  him  I  say :  Hail,  for  thou  art  the  true 


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prophet  of  my  nature,  the  priest  of  my  soul, 
the  king  of  my  being!  So  far  as  man  can 
be,  thou  art  both  atonement  and  salvation! 

Tennyson  speaks  of  Arthur  Henry  Hal- 
lam  as 

That  friend  of  mine,  who  lives  in  God. 

It  requires  the  divine  spaces  for  the  habi- 
tation of  such  a  friend.  Hallam  challenged 
the  genius  of  Tennyson  and  "In  Memor- 
iam"  was  the  fine  effort  of  Tennyson's  na- 
ture to  reply  as  was  the  "Lycidas"  of 
Milton  or  the  "Adonais"  of  Shelley  to  the 
influence  of  Edward  King  or  John  Keats. 
The  greatest  soul  history  has  known  in  the 
early  annals  of  the  old  religion,  Abraham, 
was  called  "the  friend  of  God";  and  when 
the  new  religion  came  in  Christ,  earth  saw 
its  most  evidently  divine  genius  seeking 
friends  and  wooing  forth  the  friend  in  and 
from  what  had  been  the  servant.  Jesus 
said:  "Henceforth  I  call  you  no  more  ser- 
vants, but  I  have  called  you  friends." 

A  luminous  soul  illuminates.  A  fine 
spirit  refines  what  it  touches;  and  so  with 
divine  meanings;  the  divine  mind  dignifies 
relationships,  facts  and  occurrences.  When 
the  thought  of  Jesus  fell  upon  the  position 
of  His  disciples,  as  related  to  Him,  He  so 
used  the  words  servant  and  service, 
as  to  show  that  He  found  mightier  mean- 
ings in  them  because  they  involved  devotion 


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to  divine  manhood,  and  loyalty  to  the  human 
manifestation  of  God.  It  was  in  response 
to  the  law  which  I  have  suggested,  that 
their  service  should  mean  more  to  Him  be- 
cause He  was  modestly  conscious  of  the 
fact  that  upon  it  there  fell  from  the  sublime 
heights  of  His  character  something  of  His 
own  divine  light,  to  ennoble  and  enrich  it. 
Of  such  a  generous  and  missionary  qual- 
ity was  the  divinity  of  Jesus  that  in  this 
case,  as  in  others,  it  melted  down  all  the 
walls  which  separated  Him  from  them. 
Henceforth  there  was  no  longer  any  cour- 
tesies needed  as  between  the  human  and 
the  divine.  He  had  won  these  men  unto 
Himself;  and  He,  from  the  beginning,  had 
been  one  with  God.  It  was  not  so  much 
that  He  had  come  down  to  them;  they  had 
come  up  to  Him.  It  was  not  more  His  con- 
descension than  their  exaltation.  And  in 
this  interflow  of  earth  and  heaven — in  this 
new  alliance  of  finite  and  infinite,  Jesus  pro- 
posed the  sweet  word  of  His  now  familiar 
grace,  and  it  fell  into  their  souls  as  a  dear 
oracle,  too  amazing  to  be  altogether  human 
and  too  ennobling  to  be  anything  save 
divine:  "Henceforth  I  call  you  no  more 
servants."  He  seems  to  say,  "Ye  have  been 
exalted  out  of  service — noble  as  it  is.  To 
my  own  heart  I   have  called  you  friends. 


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What  I  have  said  to  my  own  soul,  I  now 
say  to  you ;  I  call  you  friends." 

Just  as  we  see  a  hyacinth  filling  the  air 
with  fragrance  from  above  with  its  homely 
bulb  below,  so  looking  through  the  eyes  of 
Jesus,  we  see  that  the  beginnings  of  friend- 
ship lie  deep  down  in  service.  Jesus 
here  discloses  the  homely  root  from  which 
that  divine  relationship  sprung.  While 
this  is  the  first  and  most  obvious  lesson, 
we  may  safely  stand  upon  the  proposition 
that  friendship  is  glorified  service ;  that  from 
this  point  of  view  we  may  learn  of  the 
friendship  of  Jesus. 

I  do  not  offer  this  statement  as  a  defini- 
tion, yet  it  was  one  of  the  beautiful  forms 
which  the  thought  took  in  the  mind  of 
Jesus.  In  His  thought,  friendship  was  serv- 
ice glorified  by  love.  The  definition  would 
not  define,  because  love,  the  glorifier, 
is  undefined,  and,  so  far  as  I  know,  inde- 
finable. But,  defined  or  undefined,  this 
episode  offers  us  a  glimpse  of  devoted  serv- 
ice, as  it  grows  steadily  more  and  more 
easy  and  noble,  until,  unconsciously,  it  takes 
on  not  only  the  colors  of  the  one  who  is  serv- 
ing, but  gains  something  of  the  radiance  of 
Him  who  is  served.  The  coloring  is  called 
out  of  the  server,  and  it  may  be,  by  the  light 
of  Him  who  is  served.  That  calling  and 
the  response — that  mutual  experience,  is  a 


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FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


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flash  of  love.  As  it  is  always  the  loftier 
nature  of  a  friendship  which  discovers  it, — 
so  it  was  Jesus,  who,  with  divine  candor, 
announced  the  fact  that  love  had  so  glori- 
fied their  mutual  service  that  He  had  called 
them  His  friends. 

It  is  this  unfailing  justice  exercised  by 
friendship  toward  the  object  of  its  regard 
that  most  completely  characterizes  the  in- 
fluence of  every  master  in  the  realm  of  relig- 
ion. To  revert  again  to  Shakespeare,  we 
hear  the  eloquent  Roman  say  of  Caesar: 

He  was  my  friend,  faithful  and  just  to 
me.  But  Caesar  was  not  great  enough  to 
be  the  ideal  friend.  The  ideal  friend  is 
faithful  and  just  to  the  highest  in  me.  No 
brilliant  campaigns  so  employ  the  mind  of 
such  an  one  that  he  forgets  the  eternal  possi- 
bilities of  his  Antony — that  wonderful  be- 
fore of  every  human  life  which  shone  in 
his  face  —  that  problematic  afterward 
which  makes  the  unraised  curtains  in  the 
West  of  every  soul  so  significant,  and  that 
fathomless  here  and  now  in  which  they 
find  themselves  lively  participants  at 
Rome.  If  he  gave  a  renewed  and  true 
meaning  to  these,  as  he  met  Antony,  he  was 
his  friend.  That,  however,  the  great  Caesar 
could  not  furnish.  He  once  had  Rome  at 
his  command,  but  to  the  infinite,  so  hidden 
in  the  real,  he  had  not  so  much  as  a  tax- 


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title.  He  could  have  gathered  legions  to 
protect  Antony,  but  the  monarch  of  Rome 
was  powerless  to  raise  his  finger  and  point 
out  the  realms  of  the  ideal.  When  men  in 
Rome  were  saying  to  each  other: 

He  doth  bestride  the  narrow  world 
Like  a  mighty  Colossus;  and  we  petty  men 
Walk  under  his  huge  legs,  and  peep  about 
To   find    ourselves   dishonorable   graves, — 

if  there  had  been  no  Brutus  to  love  Rome, 
Caesar  could  not  arm  a  single  guard  with 
duty,  or  put  upon  himself  the  toga  of  man- 
hood. Antony's  word  is  but  a  proclama- 
tion of  how  all  human  friendship  waits  for 
something,  until  the  last,  and  then  tries  in 
vain  to  dream  of  its  possession  in  its  adored. 
As  it  was  then,  so  it  is  now.  And  as  when 
Caesar  could  furnish  nothing  for  a  friend 
like  Antony,  but  the  "fable"  of  the  ideal 
friend,  Jesus  came  to  so  befriend  man  by 
service,  that  man  should  be  won  to  serve. 
So  Jesus  said  to  His  followers:  "Hence- 
forth I  call  you  no  more  servants,  but  I 
have  called  you  friends." 

It  was  the  simple  truth  which  He  had  to 
speak.  He  was  not  telling  them  about  His 
condescension,  for  He  always  believed  that 
it  was  His  glorification,  that  through  Him 
man  was  glorified.  It  was  not  to  speak  to 
them  in  sentimental  innuendoes,  for  He 
knew  that  it   needed  not  that   He  should 


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FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


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announce  His  friendship  unto  them.  A 
friendship  that  has  to  declare  itself  is  half 
profane  and  insincere.  It  was  their  matter 
to  recognize  the  Divine  friend.  If  they  had 
not  found  it  out,  they  would  not  discover  it 
in  any  words  that  could  be  spoken.  The 
matter  was  really  very  different  from  that. 
The  fact  was  that  He  had  been  their  friend. 
He  had  let  fall  upon  their  souls  the  radiance 
of  His  own  nature,  until  from  their  souls 
there  began  to  come  flashes  of  a  like  glory. 
He  had  so  served  them  that  they  had  begun 
to  serve  Him.  Thus  far  it  was  only  service. 
They  were  only  servants,  as,  indeed,  He 
began  His  friendship  unto  them  in  service. 
It  had  now  gone  a  step  farther.  His  love  of 
serving  them  had  waked  up  and  called  forth 
their  love  of  serving  Him. 

Now  came  the  moment  when  homely  serv- 
ice was  glorified  by  love  into  friendship. 
The  Divine  Man  opened  His  lips,  and  as  it 
is  the  loftier  one  of  the  friendship  who  first 
sees  its  beautiful  colors,  so  Jesus  spoke.  He 
would  not  allow  the  towering  sublimities  of 
His  own  nature  to  weigh  down  their  admi- 
ration; He  would  not  suffer  the  majesty  of 
His  intellectual  and  moral  transcendence  to 
make  heavy  the  loving  devotion  of  those 
men;  He  would  take  His  stand  on  the  fact 
of  a  common  interior  life,  and  there  say: 


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"Henceforth  I  call  you  no  more  servants, 
but  I  have  called  you  friends." 

The  great  friend  is  not  only  just,  but 
faithful  to  me,  as  well.  The  comrade 
of  my  heart,  whom  I  meet  daily,  has  not 
done  all,  when,  by  his  justice,  I  am  dis- 
suaded from  being  unjust:  the  rest  of  his 
duty  is  to  persuade  me  to  be  just.  Shakes- 
peare would  call  such  an  one  not  only  just, 
but  "faithful"  to  me.  My  friend  has  only 
done  the  first  half  of  his  work,  when  he  has 
taken  my  old  world  from  under  me ;  he  must 
give  me  a  new  world,  and  over  it  must  be 
sprung  a  fresh  sky.  It  must  be  more  than 
that — it  must  be  such  a  world  as  shall  give 
me  rootage,  and  its  sky  and  soil  must  give 
me  growth  and  fruitage ;  it  must  be  a  world 
with  a  sky  fit  for  the  career  of  a  soul  pant- 
ing and  throbbing  with  the  endless  life. 
My  friend's  justice  may  kill  off  my  half- 
heartedness,  but  his  faithfulness  ought  to 
produce  a  resurrection  of  sincerity  out  of 
its  grave.  What  is  a  sunstroke  to  laziness, 
ought  to  be  life  to  industry;  and  his  faith- 
fulness must  so  match  his  justice  that  he 
shall  wake  the  germs  of  justice  in  me,  until 
they  grow  toward  that  larger  justice  in  him. 

He  shall  then  ask  me  to  drink  of  the 
immortalities  which  he  has  pressed  into  the 
wine  of  a  new  life.  Our  feasting  shall  be 
conducted  as  though  it  were  only  courtesy 


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unto  each  other  to  act  upon  the  idea  that  we 
expected  to  live  forever,  and  that  the  wine  of 
every  real  feast  shall  be  that  pressed  from 
the  grapes  in  some  Garden  of  Gethsemane, 
by  the  sorrows  of  Jesus.  The  etiquette  of 
my  true  friend  is  the  natural  simplicity  of 
a  soul  whose  nostrils  dilate  with  the  breath 
of  God.  His  words  are  simple;  it  may  be 
that  he  knows  no  language  well,  has  heard 
no  symphonies,  can  understand  no  meta- 
physics of  this  age,  has  no  philosophy  by 
name;  but  what  of  that? 

I  want  him  to  be  mine  because  I  find  him 
rooted  to  the  reality  which  underlies  all 
ages;  because  he  has  heard  the  music  of 
a  noble  life ;  because  he  has  a  practical  phil- 
osophy of  living;  because  he  can  befriend 
and  be  befriended.  He  is  faithful  to  the 
best  that  he  feels,  and  to  the  best  that  I  feel ; 
and  that  common  path  which  he  makes 
from  heart  to  heart  is  the  road  over  which 
friendship  carries  its  devotions,  and  bears 
its  burdens.  Because  every  human  being 
must  be  himself  or  herself,  every  friend  can 
carry  over  this  common  thoroughfare  new 
phases  of  the  world  unto  his  friend.  Be- 
cause each,  if  true,  is  conscious  that  an  im- 
mortal sky  is  over  him,  each  thing  done 
has  an  infinite  quality,  and  each  has  the 
glad  suspicion  that  the  other  deals  in  im- 
mortalities.     And    that,    after    all,    is    the 


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only  way  that  people  can  become  interest- 
ing to  each  other. 

In  such  a  friendship,  when  I  am  sick  and 
my  friend  brings,  in  his  small  basket,  my 
dinner,  I  value  the  immortal  idea  that  he 
brought  with  him,  and  that  never-dying 
thought  which  worked  him  up  to  it,  more 
than  I  do  the  dinner;  and  he  is  glad  that, 
through  the  perishable,  which  he  had  in 
his  basket,  I  see  the  imperishable,  which 
he  had  in  his  soul.  So  this  simple  act  of 
friendship  fastens  both  of  us  to  things  eter- 
nal, and  thus  it  is  that  souls  are  bound  to 
man  and  God  in  friendship,  along  whose 
path  the  ideal  life  often  travels. 

Every  friend  is,  therefore,  a  priest.  He 
enters  into  the  holy  of  holies  of  his  friend, 
and  opens  anew  the  mystery  of  life.  He 
gives  his  friend  additional  reasons  for  exist- 
ing, as  through  him  the  world  looks  fresh 
and  beautiful. 

The  question  of  the  future  of  Christianity 
is  the  question  as  to  the  place  of  Jesus.  As 
man's  friend  on  the  lines  of  his  progressive 
destiny,  man  will  always  seek  for  a  great 
friend  as  the  object  of  his  religion.  The 
most  serious  question  is  this:  Is  there  in 
Jesus  the  perennial  satisfaction  for  the  spir- 
itual want  that  will  be  incessant  and  great 
as  man  advances?  It  is  fitting  that  now 
man  should  attend  to  what  he  may  know  of 


The 
Rev. 
Frank 
W.  Gun- 
saulus 


22 


FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


The 

Rev. 

Frank 

W.  Gun- 

saulus 


the  demands  he  shall  make  upon  his  leader 
and  friend,  as  the  future  waits  for  his  eager 
feet.  It  needs  no  discussion  to  satisfy  the 
race  that  the  flights  which  the  mind  of  man 
has  yet  made  are  but  as  those  winged  voy- 
ages which  birds  take,  always  to  come  back 
to  earth  and  perch  upon  some  leafy  branch, 
or  rest  upon  some  mountain  crag,  or  stop 
over  some  loved  nest.  Every  flight,  how- 
ever, helps  the  soul  to  appreciate  the  dawn- 
ing fact  that  man's  wings,  and  the  mental 
air  which  surrounds  this  planet  of  his 
thoughts,  indicate  a  flight  to  be  begun  soon, 
which  shall  never  wheel  backward  to  this 
dear  world  from  which  he  practiced,  but 
which  shall  extend  beyond  death  and  time. 
Is  it  strange  that  as  man  finds  this  out,  he 
should  feel  anxious  for  a  safe  companion 
in  this  mighty  trip?  As  he  loks  out  upon  the 
route,  and  into  his  own  soul  at  its  believed 
yearnings,  he  finds  that  his  guiding  and  in- 
spiring friend  must  answer  to  these  desires 
for  rest  of  heart  in  the  Absolute ;  these 
aspiration  for  harmony  of  thought  with  the 
Infinite  Soul  of  all ;  these  fluttering  waitings 
of  the  will  for  freedom  in  the  Will  of  the 
universe.  All  great  literature  is  the  story 
of  these  and  their  heavy  demand  upon  the 
leader  and  friend  of  immortal  man.  Hence, 
I  do  not  call  it  irreverence,  but  piety  unto 
the  interests  involved,  that,  in  this  age,  man 


FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


23 


should  look  to  Him  who  first  told  him  of 
his  destined  trip  God-ward,  and  wonder  in 
secret,  and  in  the  public  musings  of  science 
and  philosophy,  if,  when  the  intellect  has 
flown  far  beyond  its  present  confines,  in  the 
future  life  of  man  here  or  elsewhere,  it  shall 
not  have  to  stop  where  there  is  no  resting 
place,  where  flight  back  to  earth  is  impos- 
sible; where  flight  beyond  is  unknown; 
where  this  Christ,  who  inspired  it  to  use  its 
wings,  becomes  a  stranger  also  to  the  un- 
discovered and  unknown.  Can  this  friend 
to  the  intellect  of  man  continue  until  man 
is  at  one  with  God? 

I  am  convinced  that  this  question,  which 
shall  be  recurrent  in  every  era,  is  answered 
in  the  unique  and  transcendant  nature  of 
Jesus  as  a  friend. 

Everything  that  Jesus  did — because  of 
everything  which  Jesus  was — has  a  reach 
of  power  and  a  date  in  eternity  fixed  only  by 
the  immortality  of  man,  and  the  being  of  the 
everlasting  God.  While  He  lived  in  the 
midst  of  the  finite  His  conversation  showed 
that  His  soul  was  at  home  with  the  infinite. 
You  have  to  suppose  an  infinity  to  under- 
stand His  simplest  statement,  and  because 
He  was  while  here  familiar  with  the  infini- 
ties which  man  seeks,  and  on  such  terms  of 
fellowship  with  the  Absolute  as  to  name  it 
"Father,"  and  say:  "I  and  the  Father    are 


The 
Rev. 
Frank 
W.  Gun- 
saulus 


24 


FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


The 
Rev. 
Frank 
W.  Gun- 
saulus 


one,"  His  friendship  unto  man,  as  an  ele- 
ment of  the  at-one-ment,  will,  therefore,  last 
forever,  because  sin-stained  man  requires  a 
forever  in  which  to  be  at-oned  to  the  Holy 
God.  Whatever  Jesus  is  to  man  here  below, 
it  can  only  be  the  beginning  of  that  at-one- 
ment  which  He  will  accomplish  as  the  un- 
numbered ages  roll  away.  Until  man's 
nature,  which  now  has  an  unconquerable 
tendency  toward  God-likeness,  comes  to  be 
Godlike,  he  will  stand  in  need  of  such  a 
friend. 

His  starward  path  has  its  beginning  in 
what  Jesus  was  as  a  friend  on  earth  and  its 
ending  in  what  Jesus  is  in  the  Being  of 
God.  That  is  the  span  of  the  at-one-ing 
bridge.  Unto  the  remotest  moment,  so  long 
as  the  intellect  of  man  has  found  itself  less 
than  able  to  grasp  infinite  problems,  will  it 
beat  its  tireless  wings  in  the  air  of  the  balmy 
eternity.  Shall  it  ever  fail  to  find  the  famil- 
iar friend  who  lured  it  first  to  try  flying  in 
the  infinity? 

I  look  into  the  intellect  of  Jesus  and  bring 
back  the  news:  never! 

Unto  the  last,  so  long  as  the  feelings  of 
man  discover  their  inability  to  thrill  with 
the  joy  of  God,  they  will  rise  unto  new 
eyries  and  sweep  in  new  circles  in  the  ever- 
brightening  day.  Shall  they  ever  rise  so 
high  in  the  lapse  of  aeons  that  this  dear 


FRIENDSHIP  AND  RELIGION 


25 


friend  who  first  tempted  them  to  rise  upon 
their  wings  shall  no  more  invite  them  on? 

Until  the  last,  last  hour,  so  long  as  man's 
will  is  not  traveling  the  same  infinite  paths 
in  which  God  moves,  so  long  as  the  human 
volition  moves  not  to  bear  immortalities  as 
naturally  as  the  Diety  bears  a  universe,  it 
will  pierce  new  skies  and  rise  over  new 
galaxies  in  that  perpetual  dawn. 

I  look  into  the  will  of  Jesus,  and  the  hu- 
man God  says  with  a  meaning  that  broke  the 
grasp  of  death  and  put  out  the  fires  of  hell : 
never !  I  will  never  forsake  you.  "If  it  were 
not  so,  I  would  have  told  you." 

When  the  Christ  thus  brings  man  home, 
and  the  child  humanity  finds  his  intellect 
and  feelings  and  will  thus  unembarrassed 
with  the  infinities  and  unaffrighted  with  the 
eternity,  the  at-one-ment  will  be  complete. 
Other  beautiful  dreams  may  be  found 
lodged  in  the  driftwood  of  the  world.  Him 
as  a  friend,  shall  we  always  call  our  own; 
yet  we  shall  know  that  if  we  could  have  all 
of  Him,  He  could  not  be  so  truly  ours. 
Blessed  dream !  always  will  it  be  being  real- 
ized, yet  evermore  shall  it  last,  because  we 
are  finite  and  He  is  infinite. 


The 
Rev. 
Frank 
W.  Gun- 
saulus 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


29 


CONTENTS 


Contents 


CHAPTER  PAGE 

I     Friendship's   Essentials 31 

II     The  Stepping  Stones 47 

III     The  Stumbling  Blocks 59 

IV     On  Eeing  a  Friend 69 

V     On  Being  Befriended 85 

VI     The  Advice  of  Friends 95 

VII     Our  Friends  the  Enemy 103 

VIII     Friends  and  Enemies 107 

IX     Men  and  Women  Friends 113 

X     Friendships  of  Women 119 

XI     Friends  and  Relations 127 

XII     Friendships  that  Fail 133 

XIII     In  Praise  of  Friends 141 

XIV     Benefits   of  Friendship 159 

XV     Old  Friends  Are  Best 169 

XVI     FrLnds  that  Are  Gone 181 

XVII     The  Great  Friendships 195 


FRIENDSHIP'S  ESSENTIALS 


FRIENDSHIP'S  ESSENTIALS 


33 


A  friend,  says  that  court  of  last  appeal, 
the  dictionary,  is  "One  joined  to  another  in 
mutual  benevolence  and  intimacy."  It  is 
noteworthy  that  the  sentiment  is  so  fine  a 
one  that  even  the  prose  of  the  dictionary 
itself  takes  on  an  aspect  of  poetry.  The 
word  has  been  in  English  from  the  begin- 
ning of  the  language,  and  has  been  written 
for  more  than  a  thousand  years — the 
Venerable  Bede  and  the  singer  of  Beowulf 
both  use  it.  Its  origin  goes  back,  it  is  be- 
lieved, to  a  word  which  means  dear,  and 
the  root  of  friend  itself  is  the  old  Teutonic 
participle  which  means  loving ;  it  would  not 
have  been  quite  true  to  its  own  traditions 
if  it  had  meant  loved.  From  the  same  root 
come  words  signifying  to  woo  and  to  caress 
— all  that  is  implied  in  love  may  be  found 
in  one  or  another  of  the  meanings  of  triend. 
From  it,  too,  come  many  pleasant  words, 
some  of  which  deserve  more  frequent  use 
than  they  receive.  To  friend  a  man  is  an 
old  phase  that  might  be  revived  to  ad- 
vantage. Friendlihead  or  friendlihood,  sig- 
nifying both  friendship  and  friendliness, 
ought  never  to  have  been  lost  sight  of.  Nor 
are  friendsome  and  friendsomeness  words 
that  we  can  afford  to  be  without,  any  more 
than  we  can  afford  to  be  without  the  ideas 
they  represent. 


The 

Meaning 
of 
Friend 


34 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Ralph 
Waldo 

Emerson 


There  are  two  elements  that  go  to  the 
composition  of  friendship,  each  so  sovereign 
that  I  can  detect  no  superiority  in  either, 
no  reason  why  either  should  be  first  named. 
One  is  Truth.  A  friend  is  a  person  with 
whom  I  may  be  sincere.  Before  him,  I  may 
think  aloud.  I  am  arrived  at  last  in  the 
presence  of  a  man  so  real  and  equal  that  I 
may  drop  even  those  undermost  garments 
of  dissimulation,  courtesy,  and  second 
thought,  which  men  never  put  off,  and  may 
deal  with  him  with  the  simplicity  and  whole- 
ness with  which  one  chemical  atom  meets 
another.  The  other  element  of  friendship 
is  Tenderness.  We  are  holden  to  men  by 
every  sort  of  tie,  by  blood,  by  pride,  by  fear, 
by  hope,  by  lucre,  by  lust,  by  hate,  by  admi- 
ration, by  every  circumstance  and  badge 
and  trifle,  but  we  can  scarce  believe  that  so 
much  character  can  subsist  in  another  as  to 
draw  us  by  love.  Can  another  be  so  blessed, 
and  we  so  pure,  that  we  can  offer  him 
tenderness?  When  a  man  becomes  dear  to 
me,  I  have  touched  the  goal  of  fortune. 


Friendship    with    none    but  equals   should  be 
ton        made. 


Proverbs 
of 
Solomon 


A  man  that  hath  friends  must  show  him- 
self friendly :  and  there  is  a  friend  that  stick- 
eth  closer  than  a  brother. 


FRIENDSHIP'S  ESSENTIALS 


35 


Friendship  is  one  mind  in  two  bodies. 

To  God  be  humble,  and  to  thy  friend  be  kind. 

A  very  simple  intellectual  mechanism 
answers  the  necessities  of  friendship,  and 
even  of  the  most  intimate  relations  of  life. 
If  a  watch  tell  us  the  hour  and  minute,  we 
can  be  content  to  carry  it  about  with  us 
for  a  lifetime,  though  it  has  no  second  hand 
and  is  not  a  repeater,  nor  a  musical  watch, 
though  it  is  not  enameled  nor  jeweled, — in 
short  though  it  has  little  beyond  the  wheels 
required  for  a  trustworthy  instrument, 
added  to  a  good  face  and  a  pair  of  useful 
hands. 

Only  a  wise  man  knows  how  to  love ;  only 
a  wise  man  is  a  friend. 

Let  us,  then,  be  what  we  are  and  speak  what 
we  think,  and  in  all 

Keep  ourselves  loyal  to  truth,  and  the  sacred 
professions  of  friendship. 

I  will  deal  with  you  with  all  the  frankness 
which  is  due  to  friendship. 

Friendship  is  nothing  else  than  entire 
fellow-feeling  as  to  all  things,  human  and 
divine,  with  mutual  good-will  and  affection. 

Pure  friendship  is  something  which  men 
of  an  inferior  intellect  can  never  taste. 


Aristotle 

Dunbar 

Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


Seneca 


Henry 
Wads- 
worth 
Long- 
fellow 

George 
Wash- 
ington 

Cicero 
"On 

Friend- 
ship" 

Jean  de 
la  Bru- 
yere 


36 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Benjamin 
Franklin 


Henry 

David 

Thoreau 


Earl  of 
Orrey 

Emerson 


Henry 

W. 

Shaw 


William 
Cowper 


Thomas 

Carlyle 

"Sartor 

Resar- 

tus" 


A  benevolent  man  should  allow  a  few 
faults  in  himself,  to  keep  his  friends  in  coun- 
tenance. 

A  man's  social  and  spiritual  discipline 
must  answer  to  his  corporeal.  He  must 
lean  on  a  friend  who  has  a  hard  breast,  as 
he  would  lie  on  a  hard  bed.  He  must  drink 
cold  water  for  his  only  beverage.  So  he 
must  not  hear  sweetened  and  colored  words, 
but  pure  and  refreshing  truths.  He  must 
daily  bathe  in  truth,  cold  as  spring  water, 
not  warmed  by  the  sympathy  of  friends. 

Friendship  above  all  ties  does  bind  the  heart; 
And  faith  in  friendship  is  the  noblest  part. 

We  talk  of  choosing  friends,  but  friends 
are  self-elected. 

If  you  would  know  how  rare  a  thing  a 
true  friend  is,  let  me  tell  you  that  to  be  a 
true  friend,  a  man  must  be  perfectly  honest. 

I  would  not  enter  on  my  list  of  friends 
(Though  graced  with  polished  manners  and  fine 

sense, 
Yet  wanting  sensibility)  the  man 
Who  needlessly  sets  foot  upon  a  worm. 

How  were  friendship  possible?  In  mu- 
tual devotedness  to  the  Good  and  True: 
otherwise  impossible  except  as  armed  neu- 
trality or  hollow  commercial  league. 


FRIENDSHIP'S  ESSENTIALS 


37 


What  makes  a  friend?    The  heart  that  glows 
With  changeless  love  in  Arctic  snows, 
Nor  fails  to  cheer  'mid  desert  sand. 
This  plainer  speaks  than  clasp  of  hand: 
Hands  may  be  firmly  clasped  by  foes. 

Have  you  not  met  with  some  men  who 
very  rarely  spoke  about  their  own  impres- 
sions and  thoughts,  who  seldom  laid  down 
the  law,  and  yet  you  were  sure  had  a  fund 
of  wisdom  within,  and  who  made  you  par- 
takers of  it  by  the  light  which  they  threw  on 
the  earth  in  which  they  were  dwelling,  es- 
pecially by  the  kindly,  humorous,  pathetic 
way  in  which  they  interested  you  about  your 
fellowmen,  and  made  you  acquainted  with 
them?  I  do  not  say  that  this  is  the  only 
class  of  friends  which  one  would  wish  for. 
One  likes  to  have  some  who  in  quiet  mo- 
ments are  more  directly  communicative 
about  their  own  sufferings  and  struggles. 
But  certainly  you  would  not  say  that  men 
of  the  other  class  are  not  very  pleasant  and 
very  profitable. 

I  love  a  friendship  free  and  frank. 

True  friendship  cannot  be  among  many. 

The  essence  of  friendship  is  entireness,  a 
total  magnanimity  and  trust.  It  must  not 
surmise  or  provide  for  infirmity.  It  treats 
its  object  as  a  god,  that  it  may  deify  both. 


Volney 
Streamer 


Frederic 
Denison 
Maurice 


John 
Byrom 

Norris 


Emerson 


38 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Emerson 


Perry 
Marshall 


Stephen 
Phillips 

William 
Hazlitt 


Anthony 
Hope 


John 
Gay 


Daniel 

Parki- 

son 

of  John 

Wade 


William 
Penn  in 
"Fruits 
of  Soli- 
tude" 


The  laws  of  friendship  are  great,  austere, 
and  eternal,  of  one  web  with  the  laws  of  na- 
ture and  of  morals. 

Think  it  not  friendship  which  forever 
seeks  itself;  but  that  which  gives  itself  for 
others. 

Beautiful  friendship,  tried  by  sun  and  wind, 
Durable  from  the  daily  dust  of  life. 

It  is  well  that  there  is  no  one  without  a 
fault,  for  he  would  not  have  a  friend  in  the 
world. 

I  declare  that  I  have  always  limited  my 
expectation  of  attachments  entirely  disinter- 
ested. Are  there  any?  Who  cherishes  a 
friend  from  whom  there  is  neither  profit  nor 
pleasure  to  be  had?  Or,  at  any  rate,  from 
whom  neither  has  been  had? 

'T  is  thus  in  friendship;  who  depend 
On  many  rarely  find  a  friend. 

Whoever  heard  him  utter  an  ill-natured 
word  respecting  anyone,  living  or  dead? 
Where  was  there  a  kinder  friend  or  better 
neighbor?  Now,  above  all  things,  where 
was  his  equal  as  a  companion, 

A  true  friend  unbosoms  freely,  advises 
justly,  assists  readily,  adventures  boldly, 
takes  all  patiently,  defends  courageously, 
and  continues  a  friend  unchangeably. 


FRIENDSHIP'S  ESSENTIALS 


39 


Friendship  should  be  surrounded  with 
ceremonies  and  respect,  and  not  crushed 
into  corners.  Friendship  requires  more 
time  than  poor  busy  man  can  usually  com- 
mand. 

True  happiness 
Consists  not   in   the   multitude   of  friends, 
But  in  the  worth  and  choice. 

To  say  that  a  man  is  your  friend,  means 
commonly  no  more  than  this,  that  he  is  not 
your  enemy.  Most  contemplate  only  what 
would  be  the  accidental  and  trifling  advant- 
ages of  friendship,  as  that  the  friend  can 
assist  in  time  of  need,  by  his  substance,  or 
his  influence,  or  his  counsel;  but  he  who 
foresees  such  advantage  in  this  relation 
proves  himself  blind  to  its  real  advantage,  or 
indeed  wholly  inexperienced  in  the  relation 
itself. 

I  loved  my  friend  for  his  gentleness,  his 
candor,  his  good  repute,  his  freedom  even 
from  my  own  livelier  manner,  his  calm  and 
reasonable  kindness.  It  was  not  any  par- 
ticular talent  that  attracted  me  to  him,  or 
anything  striking  whatsoever.  I  should 
say  in  one  word,  it  was  his  goodness. 

A  true  test  of  friendship,  to  sit  or  walk 
with  a  friend  for  an  hour  in  perfect  silence 
without  wearying  of  one  another's  company. 


Ralph 
Waldo 
Emerson 


Ben 
Jonson 


Henry 
David 
Thoreau 


Leigh 
Hunt 


Dinah 
Muloch 


4o 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


£ord 
Avebury 


Cicero 
"On 
Friend- 
ship" 

Sir  Philip 
Sidney 


Jonathan 
Swift 


Ralph 

Waldo 

Emerson 


Oliver 

Marble 

Gale 


Francis 
Bacon 


Alex- 
ander 
Pope 

Ouida 


It  is  not  enough  to  love  those  who  are  near 
and  dear  to  us.  We  must  show  them  that 
we  do  so. 

In  friendship  there  is  nothing  pretended, 
nothing  feigned,  whatever  there  is  in  it  is 
both  genuine  and  spontaneous. 

Everything  that  is  mine,  even  to  my  life, 
I  may  give  to  one  I  love,  but  the  secret  of 
my  friend  is  not  mine  to  give. 

True  friendship  in  two  breasts  requires 
The  same  aversions,  and  desires. 

I  wish  that  friendship  should  have  feet, 
as  well  as  eyes  and  eloquence.  In  must 
plant  itself  on  the  ground,  before  it  walks 
over  the  moon.  I  wish  it  to  be  a  little  of  a 
citizen,  before  it  is  quite  a  cherub. 

If  gratitude  means  a  lively  sense  of  future 
favors,  friendship  signifies  a  lively  sense  of 
past  favors,  mutually  conferred. 

A  crowd  is  not  company,  and  faces  are 
but  a  gallery  of  pictures,  and  talk  but  a 
tinkling  cymbal,  where  there  is  no  love. 

A   generous   friendship   no   cold   medium  knows, 
Burns  with  one  love,  with  one  resentment  glows. 

We  must  not  expect  our  friends  to  be 
above  humanity. 


FRIENDSHIP'S  ESSENTIALS 


4i 


I  do  not  treat  friendships  daintily,  but  with 
roughest  courage.  When  they  are  real,  they 
are  not  glass  threads  or  frost  work,  but  the 
solidest  thing  we  know. 

All  men  have  their  frailties,  and  whoever 
looks  for  a  friend  without  imperfections  will 
never  find  what  he  seeks.  We  love  our- 
selves notwithstanding  our  faults,  and  we 
ought  to  love  our  friends  in  like  manner. 

Nay,  my  lords,  ceremony  was  but  devised  at  first 
To  set  a  gloss  on  faint  deeds,  hollow  welcomes, 
Recanting  goodness,  sorry  ere  't  is  shown; 
But  where  there  is  true    friendship,  there  needs 
none. 

If  you  would  be  loved  as  a  companion, 
avoid  unnecessary  criticism. 

If  I  could  choose  a  young  man's  com- 
panions, some  should  be  weaker  than  him- 
self, that  he  might  learn  patience  and 
charity;  many  should  be  as  nearly  as  pos- 
sible his  equals,  that  he  might  have  the  full 
freedom  of  friendship;  but  most  should  be 
stronger  than  he  was,  that  he  might  forever 
be  thinking  humbly  of  himself  and  tempted 
to  higher  things. 

Friendship's  true  laws  are  by  this  rule  exprest, 
Welcome  the  coming,  speed  the  parting  guest. 

Let  no  man  think  he  is  loved  by  any  man 
when  he  loves  no  man. 


Emerson 


Cyrus 


Shakes- 
peare in 
"Timon 
of 
Athens" 


Sir 

Arthur 

Helps 

Phillips 
Brooks 


Alexan- 
der Pope 

Epictetus 


42 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son 


Sopho- 
cles 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


James 
Howell 

Charles 
Kingsley 


Manley 
Pike 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


Emerson 


To  keep  a  few  friends  but  these  without 
capitulation — above  all,  on  the  same  grim 
condition,  to  keep  friends  with  himself — 
here  is  a  task  for  all  that  a  man  has  of  forti- 
tude and  delicacy. 

The  man  that  knows 

Receiving  good  to  render  good  again, 

Would  be  a  friend  worth  more  than  land  or  goods. 

In  the  first  place,  you  will  never  have  more 
than  two  or  three  friends  in  the  whole  course 
of  your  life.  Your  entire  confidence  is 
their  right;  to  give  it  to  many  is  to  betray 
those  who  are  indeed  your  friends. 

Love  is  the  life  of  friendship. 

It  is  only  the  great-hearted  who  can  be 
true  friends;  the  mean  and  the  cowardly 
can  never  know  what  true  friendship  is. 

People  who  always  receive  you  with  great 
cordiality  rarely  care  for  you.  Your  true 
friends  make  you  a  partaker  of  their  humors. 

Wealth,  title,  office  are  no  recommenda- 
tions to  my  friendship.  On  the  contrary, 
great  good  qualities  are  requisite  to  make 
amends  for  their  having  wealth,  title,  and 
office. 

The  only  reward  of  virtue,  is  virtue:  The 
only  way  to  have  a  friend,  is  to  be  one. 


FRIENDSHIP'S  ESSENTIALS 


43 


It  is  not  the  office  of  a  friend  to  be  sour, 
or  at  any  time  morose ;  but  free,  open,  and 
ingenuous,  candid,  and  humane,  not  deny- 
ing to  please,  but  ever  refusing  to  abuse  or 
corrupt. 

Friendship,  like  love,  is  but  a  name, 
Unless  to  one  you  stint  the  flame. 
The  child  whom  many  fathers  share 
Hath  seldom  known  a  father's  care. 
'T  is  thus  in  friendship — who  depend 
On  many  rarely  find  a  friend. 

Friendship  cannot  become  permanent  un- 
less it  becomes  spiritual.  There  must  be 
fellowship  in  the  deepest  things  of  the  soul, 
community  in  the  highest  thoughts,  sym- 
pathy with  the  best  endeavors. 

True  love  and  friendship  are  the  same. 

Friendship  is  affluent  and  generous,  and 
not  disposed  to  keep  strict  watch  lest  it 
may  give  more  than  it  receives. 

The  question  was  once  put  to  Aristotle, 
how  we  ought  to  behave  to  our  friends ;  and 
the  answer  he  gave  was,  "As  we  should 
wish  our  friends  to  behave  to  us." 

A  friend  should  bear  his  friend's  infirm- 
ities. 

The  happiness  of  love  is  in  action;  its 
test  is  what  one  is  willing  to  do  for  others. 


Jeremy 
Taylor 


John  Gay 


Hugh 
Black 


James 
Thomson 

Cicero 
"On 
Friend- 
ship" 

Plutarch 


Shake- 
speare 


Lew 
Wallace 


44 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


From  the 

Masnavi 

of  Jelal- 

ud-din 

Rumi 


Once  a  man  came  and  knocked  at  the  door  of  his 

friend. 
His  friend  said,  "Who  art  thou,  O  faithful  one?" 
He  said  "  'T  is  I."     He  answered,  "There  is  no  ad- 
mittance. 
There  is  no  room  for  the  raw  at  my  well-cooked 

feast. 
Naught  but  fire  and  separation  and  absence 
Can  cook  the  raw  one  and  free  him  from  hypoc- 
risy! 
Since  thy  self  has  not  yet  left  thee, 
Thou  must  be  burned  in  fiery  flames." 

The  poor  man  went  away,  and  for  one  whole  year 
Journeyed  burning  with  grief  for  his  friend's  ab- 
sence. 
His  heart  burned  till  it  was  cooked;  then  he  went 

again 
And  drew  near  to  the  house  of  his  friend. 
He  knocked  at  the  door  in  fear  and  trepidation 
Lest  some  careless  word  should  fall  from  his  lips. 
His  friend  shouted,  "Who  is  that  at  the  door?" 
He  answered,  "  'T  is  thou  who  art  at  the  door,  O 

beloved!" 
The  friend  said,  "Since  't  is  I,  let  me  come  in, 
There  is  not  room  for  two  I's  in  one  house." 


George 
Washing- 
ton 

"Social 
Maxims" 


Alexan- 
der Pope 


A  slender  acquaintance  with  the  world 
must  convince  every  man,  that  actions,  not 
words,  are  the  true  criterion  of  the  attach- 
ment of  friends ;  and  that  the  most  liberal 
profession  of  good-will  is  very  far  from 
being  the  surest  mark  of  it. 

Ah,  friend!  to  dazzle  let  the  vain  design; 

To  raise  the  thought  and  touch  the  heart  be  thine. 


FRIENDSHIP'S  ESSENTIALS 


45 


In  every  walk  of  life  and  irrespective  of 
advantages  of  means  and  education  there 
are  people  whose  minds  are  interesting; 
people  of  talent,  of  humor,  of  sagacity,  of 
sound  discretion  and  integrity;  people  of 
constancy,  capable  of  self-sacrifice  and  high 
devotion.  The  acquaintance  of  such  people 
is  worth  cultivating  wherever  one  finds 
them.  Life  is  an  aggregation  of  daily  ex- 
periences, most  of  which  are  trivial,  but  the 
aggregate  of  trivial  things  counts  for  a  great 
deal.  The  familiar  faces  we  see  in  the  daily 
round  and  the  brief  exchanges  of  salutation 
and  discourse  that  one  encounters  are  inci- 
dents of  superficial  importance,  but  they  go 
a  long  way  toward  making  the  difference 
between  existence  that  is  profitable  and 
existence  that  is  dull : 

To  make  the  world  a  friendly  place 
One  must  show  it  a  friendly  face. 

If  one's  intimate  in  love  or  friendship  can- 
not or  does  not  share  all  one's  intellectual 
tastes  or  pursuits,  that  is  a  small  matter. 
Intellectual  companions  can  be  found  easily 
in  men  and  books.  After  all,  if  we  think  of 
it,  most  of  the  world's  great  loves  and  friend- 
ships have  been  between  people  that  could 
not  read  or  spell. 

A  mutual  understanding  is  ever  the  firm- 
est chain. 


Edward 

Sandford 

Martin 


Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


Emerson 


II 

THE  STEPPING  STONES 


THE  STEPPING  STONES 


49 


'T  is  thus  that  on  the  choice  of  friends 
Our  good  or  evil  name  depends. 

Be  not  jealous  of  thy  friend's  friendship 
for  another;  surely  the  more  friends  he 
hath,  the  better  friend  he  is  to  have. 

In  many  cases  of  friendship,  or  what 
passes  for  it,  the  old  axiom  is  reversed,  and 
like  clings  to  unlike  more  than  to  like. 

Make  me  to  love  my  feller-man 

Yea,  though  his  bitterness 
Doth  bite  as  only  adders  can 

Let  me  the  fault  confess, 
And  go  to  him  and  clasp  his  hand, 

And  love  him  none  the  less. 
So  keep  me,  Lord,  forever  free 

From  vane  concete  with  him, 
And  he  whose  pius  eyes  can  see 

My  faults,  however  dim, 
Oh!  let  him  pray  the  least  fer  me, 

And  me  the  most  fer  him. 

I  never  yet  cast  a  true  affection  on  a 
woman;  but  I  have  loved  my  friend  as  I  do 
virtue,  my  soul,  my  God.  I  love  my  friend 
before  myself,  and  yet  methinks  I  do  not 
love  him  enough:  some  few  months  hence 
my  multiplied  affection  will  make  me  be- 
lieve I  have  not  loved  him  at  all.  When  I 
am  from  him,  I  am  dead  till  I  be  with  him ; 
when  I  am  with  him  I  am  not  satisfied,  but 
would  be  still  nearer  him. 


John 
Gay 

Christo- 
pher 
Bannister 


Dickens 
in  "Mar- 
tin Chuz- 
zlewit." 


James 
Whit- 
comb 
Riley  in 
"Mortul 
Prayer" 


Sir 

Thomas 

Browne 

in  "Re- 

ligio 

Medici" 


So 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Joanna 
Baillie 


John 
Gay 


Theodore 
Munger 

Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


Thomas 
May 

Benjamin 
Franklin 


Harriet 
B.  Stowe 


Jane 
Austen 


Caleb 
Colton 


Henry 
Wallace 


Friendship  is  no  plant  of  hasty  growth; 
Though  planted  in  esteem's  deep  fixed  soil, 
The  gradual  culture  of  kind  intercourse 
Must  bring  it  to  perfection. 

From  wine  what  sudden  friendship 
springs ! 

Choose  a  friend  as  thou  dost  a  wife,  till 
death  separates  you. 

A  calm,  clear  mind,  not  subject  to  the 
spasms  and  crises  which  are  so  often  met 
with  in  creative  or  intensely  perceptive 
natures,  is  the  best  basis  for  love  or  friend- 
ship. 

Absence  not  long  enough  to  root  out  quite 
All  love,  increases  love  at  second  sight. 

Be  slow  in  choosing  a  friend,  slower  in 
changing. 

Friendships  are  discovered  rather  than 
made. 

Friendship  is  certainly  the  finest  balm  for 
pangs  of  disappointed  love. 

Friendship  often  ends  in  love ;  but  love  in 
friendship  never. 

Seek  no  friend  to  make  him  useful,  for  that 
is  the  negation  of  friendship;  but  seek  him 
that  you  may  be  useful,  for  this  is  of  friend- 
ship's essence. 


THE  STEPPING  STONES 


5* 


Turn  him  and  see  his  threads,  look  if  he  be 
Friend  to  himself,  that  would  be  friend  to  thee, 
For  that  is  first  required,  a  man  to  be  his  own; 
But  he  that  's  too  much  that,  is  friend  to  none. 

The  chief  friend  and  friend-maker  is 
money. 

If  we  first  quarrel  we  shall  eventually  be- 
come sympathetic  friends. 

A  good  man  is  the  best  friend,  and  there- 
fore soonest  to  be  chosen,  longest  to  be  re- 
tained; and  indeed  never  to  be  parted  with, 
unless  he  cease  to  be  that  for  which  he  was 
chosen. 

These  friends  thou  hast,  and  their  adoption  tried, 
Grapple  them  to  thy  soul  with  hoops  of  steel. 

When  we  live  through  love  we  begin 
friendship. 

Friendship  made  in  a  moment  is  of  no 
moment. 

Choose  your  companions  wisely,  and  your 
friends  will  come  about  naturally. 

Friendship  springs  from  nature  rather 
than  from  need. 

Yet  how  often  we  know  merely  the  sight 
of  those  we  call  our  friends,  or  the  sound 
of  their  voices,  but  nothing  whatever  of  their 
mind  or  soul. 


Ben 
Jonson 


Lupton's 
"Sivgila" 

H.  C. 

Chatfield- 
Taylor 

Jeremy 
Taylor 


Shake- 
speare 
"Hamlet" 

Heinrich 
Heine 


Proverb 


Theodore 
Munger 


Cicero 


Lord 
Avebury 


52 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


John 
MacCunn 
in  "The 
Making 
of  Char- 
acter" 


And  though  Aristotle  does  well  to  warn 
us  that  absence  dissolves  friendship,  it  is 
happily  none  the  less  true  that  friend  may 
powerfully  influence  friend  though  the  two 
be  by  no  means  constant  associates.  Even 
far  removal  in  place,  or  in  occupation,  or  in 
fortunes,  cannot  arrest  influence.  For  once 
any  man  has  true  friends,  he  never  again 
frames  his  decisions,  even  those  that  are  the 
most  secret,  as  if  he  were  alone  in  the  world. 
He  frames  them  habitually  in  the  imagined 
company  of  friends.  In  their  visionary 
presence  he  thinks  and  acts ;  and  by  them  as 
visionary  tribunal,  he  feels  himself,  even  in 
his  unspoken  intentions  and  inmost  feelings, 
to  be  judged.  In  this  aspect,  friendship 
may  become  a  supreme  force  both  to  en- 
courage and  restrain.  For  it  is  not  simply 
what  our  friends  expect  of  us  that  is  the 
vital  matter  here.  They  are  too  often  more 
tolerant  of  our  failings  than  is  perhaps 
good  for  us.  It  is  what  in  our  best  mo- 
ments we  believe  that  they  expect  of  us. 
For  it  is  then  that  they  become  to  us,  not  of 
their  own  choice,  but  of  ours,  a  kind  of 
second  conscience,  in  whose  presence  our 
weaknesses  and  backslidings  become  "that 
worst  kind  of  sacrilege  that  tears  down  the 
invisible  altar  of  trust." 


Alexan- 
der Pope 


A  decent  boldness  ever  meets  with  friends. 


THE  STEPPING  STONES 


53 


Every  man  should  have  a  fair  sized  ceme- 
tery in  which  to  bury  the  faults  of  his 
friends. 

Our  chief  want  in  life  is,  somebody  who 
shall  make  us  do  what  we  can.  This  is  the 
service  of  a  friend. 

Some  seem  to  make  a  man  a  friend,  or  try 
to  do  so,  because  he  lives  near,  because  he  is 
in  the  same  business,  travels  on  the  same 
line  of  railway,  or  for  some  other  trivial 
reason.     There  cannot  be  a  greater  mistake. 

As  I  love  nature,  as  I  love  singing  birds, 
and  gleaming  stubble,  and  flowing  rivers, 
and  morning,  and  evening,  and  summer,  and 
winter,  I  love  thee,  my  friend. 

Blessed  are  they  who  have  the  gift  of 
making  friends,  for  it  is  one  of  God's  best 
gifts.  It  involves  many  things,  but,  above 
all,  the  power  of  going  out  of  one's  self,  and 
appreciating  whatever  is  noble  and  loving 
in  another. 

Think  of  this  doctrine — that  reasoning 
beings  were  created  for  one  another's  sake; 
that  to  be  patient  is  a  branch  of  justice,  and 
that  men  sin  without  intending  it. 

If  we  would  build  on  a  sure  foundation  in 
friendship,  we  must  love  our  friends  for 
their  sakes  rather  than  for  our  own. 


Henry 

Ward 

Beecher 


Ralph 
Waldo 
Emerson 


Lord 
Avebury 
in  "The 
Pleasures 
of  Life" 


Henry 
David 
Thoreau 


Thomas 
Hughes 


Marcus 
Aurelius 


Charlotte 
Bronte 


54 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


James 
Russell 
Lowell 


Lord 
Chester- 
field 


Bruce 
Hender- 
son 


Amy  C. 
Price 


H.  C. 

Chatfield- 
Taylor 

John  J. 
Warner 


Frances 
F.  Graves 


George  C. 
Johnston 


Emerson 


Open  to  me  thy  heart  of  heart's  deep  core, 
Or  never  say  that  I  am  dear  to  thee; 

Call  me  not  Friend,  if  thou  keep  close  the  door 
That  leads  into  thine  inmost  sympathy. 

Do  not  let  your  self-love  make  you  sup- 
pose that  people  become  your  friends  at 
first  sight,  or  even  upon  short  acquaintance. 

Suspicion  is  well  in  its  place,  but  one  cul- 
tivates it  at  the  expense  of  friendliness. 
And  it  is  better  to  have  friends  than  suspi- 
cions. 

Cultivate  friendliness,  for  it  is  the  seed 
of  friendship. 

The  prime  requisite  in  a  good  friend  is  the 
habit  of  good  impulses. 

Have  friends  of  your  own  trade  that  shop- 
talk  may  make  you  skillful;  have  friends  in 
other  trades  lest  shop-talk  leave  you  un- 
skillful. 

An  affectionate  disposition  is  the  soil  in 
which  friendship  roots  itself  most  quickly 
and  most  deeply. 

If  you  have  a  vice  and  would  rid  your- 
self of  it,  take  for  your  friends  those  who 
have  it  not. 

What  are  the  best  days  in  memory? 
Those  in  which  we  met  a  companion  who 
was  truly  such. 


THE  STEPPING  STONES 


55 


Learn  that  to  love  is  the  one  way  to  know 

Or  God  or  man:  it  is  not  love  received 

That  maketh  man  to  know  the  inner  life 

Of  them  that  love  him;  but  his  own  love  bestowed 

Shall  do  it. 

When  thine  heart  goeth  out  to  a  man 
seek  not  to  call  it  back,  for  it  is  better  in 
the  keeping  of  a  friend  than  in  thine  own. 

There  is  no  virtue  in  a  man  that  does  not 
make  him  a  better  friend ;  no  vice  that  does 
not  make  him  worse. 

It  is  a  wise  man  who  shares  his  reading 
with  those  he  loves,  since  the  more  friends 
have  in  common  the  friendlier  they  are  cer- 
tain to  be. 

Nature  teaches  beasts  to  know  their 
friends. 

Remembering  that  happiness  is  a  prime 
requisite  to  usefulness,  you  will  be  assured 
that  friends  conduce  both  to  happiness  and 
usefulness. 

There  are  men  born  for  friendship,  men 
to  whom  the  cultivation  of  it  is  nature,  is 
necessity. 

Nothing  strengthens  friendship  more 
than  for  one  friend  to  feel  himself  the  su- 
perior of  the  other. 


Jean 
Ingelow 


Christo- 
pher 
Bannister 


Oliver 
M.  Gale 


Christo- 
pher 
Bannister 


Shake- 
speare 


Brewster 
Mat- 
thews 


Walter 
Savage 
Landor 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


56 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Edward 
Wight- 
man  "The 
Friend" 


J.  R. 

Miller 


Euripides 


Wright's 
"Pas- 
sions" 

Char- 
lotte 
Bronte 


George 
Roberts 


Robert 

L.  Lori- 

mer 


Take  the  lid  from  off  your  heart  and  let  me  see 

within ; 
Curious,  I,  and  impudent,  a  rugged  man  of  sin. 
And  yet  I  hold  you  truer  than  president  or  priest; 
I  put  my  bowl  against  your  lip  and  seat  you  at  my 

feast; 
I  probe  your  wound  and  chafe  your  limbs  and  get 

my  god  to  see 
That  you  are  strengthened  as  we  fare  the  forest 

and  the  lea. 
Strike  hands  with  me,  the  glasses  brim,  the  sun 

is  on  the  heather, 
And  love  is  good  and  life  is  long  and  two  are  best 

together. 

Wanting  to  have  a  friend  is  altogether 
different  from  wanting  to  be  a  friend. 

It  is  delicious  to  behold  the  face  of  a 
friendly  and  sweet  person. 

Soon  angry,  soon  friended. 

Friendship  is  a  plant  which  cannot  be 
forced.  True  friendship  is  no  gourd,  spring- 
ing in  a  night  and  withering  in  a  day. 

Every  modern  man  must  be  many-sided; 
for  every  side  he  needs  a  friend. 

Study  yourself  until  you  know  where  you 
are  strong  and  where  weak;  study  your 
acquaintance  until  you  find  a  man  weak 
where  you  are  strong  and  strong  where  you 
are  weak,  that  the  benefits  may  be  recipro- 
cal; and  make  that  man  your  friend. 


THE  STEPPING  STONES 


57 


We  should  learn  from  Jesus  that  the  es- 
sential quality  in  the  heart  of  friendship  is 
not  the  desire  to  have  friends,  but  the  desire 
to  be  a  friend ;  not  to  get  good  and  help  from 
others,  but  to  impart  blessing  to  others. 
Many  of  the  sighings  for  friendship  which 
we  have  are  merely  selfish  longings,  a  de- 
sire for  happiness,  for  pleasure,  for  the  grati- 
fication of  the  heart,  which  friends  bring. 
If  the  desire  were  to  be  a  friend,  to  do  others 
good,  to  serve  and  to  give  help,  it  would  be 
a  far  more  Christlike  longing,  and  would 
transform  the  life  and  character. 

In  all  things  be  courteous  to  thy  friend, 
as  to  thyself;  for  is  he  not  thy  better  self? 

Love  your  friend  with  his  foible. 

Take  to  your  heart  no  friend  whose  affec- 
tion requires  proof;  proof  implies  doubt, 
and  where  doubt  is,  love  is  not. 

Rejoice  in  all  the  honors  which  come  to 
those  you  know.  That  you  know  them 
makes  you,  in  a  sense,  a  partner  in  their 
fame;  that  you  rejoice  with  them  brings 
you  their  friendship. 

To  distrust  a  friend  is  a  double  folly;  for 
why  did  you  take  for  friend  one  that  could 
be  distrusted?  and  why  do  you  keep  him? 
Trust  IS  friendship. 


J.  R. 

Miller 
"Personal 
Friend- 
ship of 
Jesus" 


Christo- 
pher 
Bannister 

Old 
Saying 

Jacob 
de  Groot 


Henry 

Worth- 

ington 


Bryant 

A. 

Wooster 


Ill 

THE  STUMBLING  BLOCKS 


THE  STUMBLING  BLOCKf 


61 


He  who  bereaves  friendship  of  mutual  re- 
spect takes  from  it  its  greatest  ornament. 

You  should  know  the  customs  of  a  friend, 
but  not  take  a  dislike  to  them. 

I  have  scarce  a  married  friend  of  my  ac- 
quaintance upon  whose  firm  faith  I  can 
rely,  whose  friendship  did  not  commence 
after  the  period  of  his  marriage.  With  some 
limitations,  they  (the  wives)  can  endure 
that;  but  that  the  good  man  should  have 
dared  to  enter  into  a  solemn  league  of 
friendship  in  which  they  were  not  con- 
sulted, though  it  happened  before  they  knew 
him,  before  they  that  are  now  man  and 
wife  ever  met,  this  is  intolerable  to  them. 

That  man  may  last,  but  never  lives, 
Who  much  receives  but  nothing  gives; 
Whom  none  can  love,  whom  none  can  thank, 
Creation's  blot,  creation's  blank. 

A  friend  is  a  rare  book,  of  which  but  one 
copy  is  made.  We  read  a  page  of  it  every 
day,  till  some  woman  snatches  it  from  our 
hands,  who  sometimes  peruses  it,  but  more 
frequently  tears  it. 

The  better  the  lover,  the  poorer  the  friend. 

Whosoever  in  the  frame  of  his  nature  and 
affections  is  unfit  for  friendship,  he  taketh 
it  of  the  beast,  and  not  from  humanity. 


Cicero 


Proverb 


Charles 
Lamb 
"Essays 
of  Elia" 


Thomas 
Gibbons 


Author 
Unknown 


John 
Holden 

Francis 
Bacon 


62 


TI 


IE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Edward 

Everett 

Hale 


Moliere 
translat- 
ed by  H. 
C.  Chat- 
field- 

Taylor 


Emerson 


Chaucer 

Henry 

David 

Thoreau 


There  are  cases  where  men  are  so  self- 
absorbed,  so  self-centered,  that  they  take 
the  friendship  of  others,  their  kindly 
thoughts  and  friendly  deeds,  without  return. 

Nor  hate  I  aught  so  much  as  the  contortions 

Which  great  assevators  use — those  far 

Too  cordial  givers  of  unmeaning  love, 

Too  courteous  givers  of  empty  words, 

Who  in  smooth  manners  vie,  treating  true  worth 

And  any  fopling  with  an  equal  grace. 

To  what  good  end  if,  swearing  admiration, 

Tenderness  and  trust,  friendship,  zeal,  and  faith, 

A  man  shall  laud  you  to  the  skies,  then  rush 

Into  the  arms  of  any  common  wretch 

He  meets  by  chance,  to  do  as  much?     No,  no! 

A  heart  endowed  with  self-respect  can  ne'er 

Endure  such  prostituted  reverence; 

The  vainest,  even,  finds  but  little  cheer 

In  mere  confusion  with  the  universe. 

Esteem  on  some  true  preference  is  based; 

Thus  in  esteeming  all,  no  man  's  esteemed. 

An  indiscriminating  heart's  regard 

I  scorn — myself  must  needs  be  prized;  in  brief, 

The  friend  of  all  mankind's  no  friend  for  me. 

I  hate  the  prostitution  of  the  name  of 
friendship  to  signify  modish  and  worldly 
alliances. 

Keep  well  thy  tongue  and  keep  thy  friends. 

The  constitutional  differences  which  al- 
ways exist,  and  are  obstacles  to  a  perfect 
friendship,  are  forever  a  forbidden  theme  to 
the  lips  of  friends. 


THE  STUMBLING  BLOCK? 


63 


Mutual  respect  implies  discretion  and  re- 
serve even  in  love  itself;  it  means  preserv- 
ing as  much  liberty  as  possible  to  those 
whose  life  we  share.  We  must  distrust  our 
instinct  of  intervention,  for  the  desire  to 
make  our  own  will  prevail  is  often  disguised 
under  the  mask  of  solicitude. 

If  you  find  a  man  who  performs  most  of 
the  relations  of  life  dutifully,  is  even  kind 
and  affectionate,  but  who,  you  discover,  is 
secretly  disliked  and  feared  by  all  his  friends 
and  acquaintances,  you  will  often  on  further 
investigation,  ascertain  that  he  is  one  who 
indulges  largely  in  needless  criticism. 

Few  friendships  wear  well  through  a  long 

life.     The  friends  do  not  progress  equally; 

one  matures  quickly,  the  other  slowly.  One 

becomes   pious,   the  other  impious.      They 

marry  (this  is  the  commonest  interruption 

of  all)   antipathetic  wives.     It  is  all  as  it 

should  be  if  they  were  really  friends  once, 

for  friends,  in  fact,  belong  to  periods  rather 

than  to  all  time,  though  sentiment  would 
have  it  otherwise. 

Every  friendship  which  a  man  may  have 
becomes  precarious  as  soon  as  he  engages 
in  politics. 

There  is  nothing  more  fatal  to  friendship 
than  the  greed  of  gain. 


From 
Amiel's 
Journal 
translat- 
ed by 
Mrs. 

Humphry 
Ward 


Sir 

Arthur 

Helps 


Edward 

Verrall 

Lucas 

in  "Over 

Bemer- 

ton's" 


Lord 
Avebury 


Cicero 


64 


frt 


'HE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Terence 


Proverb 

William 
Words- 
worth 
"To  a 
Distant 
Friend" 


/Eschylus 


Mark 
Twain 


Rendel 
Harris 


Complacency  wins  friends,  but  truth 
gives  birth  to  hatred. 

Do  not  lose  your  friend  for  your  jest. 

Why  art  thou  silent?     Is  thy  love  a  plant 
Of  such  weak  fiber  that  the  treacherous  air 
Of  absence  withers  what  was  once  so  fair? 

Is  there  no  debt  to  pay,  no  boon  to  grant? 

Yet  have  my  thoughts  for  thee  been  vigilant, 
Bound  to  thy  service  with  unceasing  care, 
The  mind's  least  generous  wish  a  mendicant 

For  nought  but  what  thy  happiness  could  spare. 

Speak!  Though  this  soft,  warm  heart,  once  free  to 
hold 
A  thousand  tender  pleasures,  thine  and  mine, 
Be  left  more  desolate,  more  dreary  cold 
Than  a  forsaken  bird's  nest  filled  with  snow 

'Mid  its  own  blush  of  leafless  eglantine: 
Speak!  that  my  torturing  doubts  their  end  may 
know! 

Few  men  have  the  strength  to  honor  a 
friend's  success  without  envy.  I  know  well 
that  mirror  of  friendship,  shadow  of  a  shade. 

The  holy  passion  of  friendship  is  of  so 
sweet  and  steady  and  loyal  and  enduring  a 
nature,  that  it  will  last  through  a  whole 
lifetime,  if  not  asked  to  lend  money. 

Few  things  are  more  fatal  to  friendship 
than  the  stiffness  which  cannot  take  a  step 
towards  acknowledgment. 


THE  STUMBLING  BLOCKS 


65 


I  never  consider  a  difference  of  opinion 
in  politics,  in  religion,  in  philosophy,  as 
cause  for  withdrawing  from  a  friend. 

Friendship  is  usually  treated  by  the  ma- 
jority of  mankind  as  a  tough  and  everlast- 
ing thing  which  will  survive  all  manner  of 
bad  treatment.  But  this  is  an  exceedingly 
great  and  foolish  error ;  it  may  die  in  an  hour 
of  a  single  unwise  word. 

I  don't  meddle  with  what  my  friends  be- 
lieve or  reject  any  more  than  I  ask  whether 
they  are  rich  or  poor ;  I  love  them. 

If  friendship  last  on  into  opening  man- 
hood, it  is  not  infrequently  broken  up  by 
rivalry  in  quest  of  a  wife. 

If  I  had  the  inclination  and  ability  to  do 
the  crudest  thing  upon  earth  to  the  man  I 
hated,  I  would  lay  him  under  the  necessity 
of  borrowing  money  from  a  friend. 

All  like  the  purchase;  Few  the  price  will  pay; 
And  this  makes  friends  such  miracles  below. 

Flattery 
Is  monstrous  in  a  true  friend. 

As  adulterine  metals  retain  the  luster  and 
color  of  gold,  but  not  the  value ;  so  flattery 
in  imitation  of  friendship,  takes  the  face  and 
outside  of  it. 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


Ouida 


James 

Russell 

Lowell 


Cicero 
"On 

Friend- 
ship" 

Edward 
Moore 


Edward 
Young 


John 
Ford 


Jeremy 
Taylor 


66 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Henry 

David 

Thoreau 


Jeremy 
Taylor 

Author 
Unknown 


Walter 

Pope's 

"Wish" 


Turkish 
Proverb 

Spenser 

Thomas 
Jefferson 


Thomas 
Moore 

Proverbs 


It  is  equally  impossible  to  forget  our 
friends,  and  to  make  them  answer  to  our 
ideal.  When  they  say  farewell,  then  indeed 
we  begin  to  keep  them  company.  How 
often  we  find  ourselves  turning  our  back  on 
our  actual  friends,  that  we  may  keep  com- 
pany with  their  ideal  cousins. 

Friendship  does  better  please  our  friends 
than  flattery. 

Criticism  often  takes  from  the  tree  cater- 
pillars and  blossoms  together. 

May  none  whom  I  love  to  so  great  riches  rise 
As  to    slight    their    acquaintance    and    their  old 

friends  despise; 
So  low  or  so  high  may  none  of  them  be 
As  to  move  either  pity  or  envy  in  me. 

Who  seeks  a  faultless  friend  rests  friend- 
less. 

Discord  harder  is  to  end  than  to  begin. 

That  is  a  miserable  arithmetic  which  could 
estimate  friendship  as  nothing,  or  at  less 
than  nothing. 

Shall  I  give  up  the  friend  I  have  valued  and  tried; 
If  he  kneel  not  before  the  same  altar  with  me? 

Make  no  friendship  with  an  angry  man; 
and  with  a  furious  man  thou  shalt  not  go; 
lest  thou  learn  his  ways,  and  get  a  snare  to 
thy  soul. 


THE  STUMBLING  BLOCKS 


67 


Don't  flatter  yourself  that  friendship  auth- 
orizes you  to  say  disagreeable  things  to  your 
intimates. 

The  cultivation  of  the  friendship  of  a 
powerful  man  is  sweet  to  the  inexperienced ; 
an  experienced  man  dreads  it. 

Reserve  or  censure  come  not  near 
Our  sacred  friendship,  lest  there  be 
No  solace  left  for  thee  and  me. 

In  the  choice  of  a  dog  or  horse,  we  exer- 
cise the  greatest  care :  we  inquire  into  its 
pedigree,  its  training  and  character,  and  yet 
we  too  often  leave  the  selection  of  our 
friends,  which  is  of  infinitely  greater  im- 
portance,— by  whom  our  whole  life  will  be 
more  or  less  influenced  either  for  good  or 
evil, — almost  to  chance. 

Nothing  in  the  world  is  more  galling  than 
a  tardy  friend. 

Our  very  best  friends  have  a  tincture  of 
jealousy  even  in  their  friendship ;  and  when 
they  hear  us  praised  by  others,  will  ascribe 
it  to  sinister  and  interested  motives  if  they 
can. 

In  certain  circumstances  in  life  we  can 
bear  no  more  from  a  friend  than  to  feel  him 
beside  us.  Spoken  consolation  irritates  the 
wound  and  reveals  its  depth. 


Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


Horace 


Percy 

Bysshe 
Shelley 

Lord 
Ave bury 
in  "The 
Pleasures 
of  Life" 


Plautus 


Caleb 
Colton 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


68 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Edward 

Verrall 

Lucas 


Lord 
Byron 

William 
Hazlitt 


Knowles 


Brown 

Henry 

David 

Thoreau 

Proverb 

Lord 
Avebury 

Cicero 


Petrarch 
Proverb 


La 
Roche- 
foucauld 


The  art  of  life  is  to  keep  down  acquaint- 
ances. One's  friends  one  can  manage,  but 
one's  acquaintances  can  be  the  devil. 

Who  will  debase  his  manly  mind, 
For  friendship  every  fool  may  share? 

There  are  no  rules  for  friendship.  It  must 
be  left  to  itself ;  we  cannot  force  it  any  more 
than  love. 

A  judicious  friend  is  better  than  a  zealous 
one. 

True  love  never  nags,  it  trusts. 

The  language  of  friendship  is  not  words, 
but  meanings.  It  is  an  intelligence  above 
language. 

Poverty  parteth  friends. 

Friendship  does  not  confer  any  privilege 
to  make  ourselves  disagreeable. 

When  love  and  kindness  cease  all  enjoy- 
ment is  taken  out  of  life. 

Suspicion  is  the  bane  of  friendship. 

Let  not  the  grass  grow  on  the  path  of 
friendship. 

It  is  more  shameful  to  mistrust  your 
friends  than  to  be  deceived  by  them. 


IV 
ON  BEING  A  FRIEND 


ON  BEING  A  FRIEND 


7i 


There  are  hermit  souls  that  live  withdrawn 

In  the  place  of  their  self-content; 

There  are  souls  like  stars,  that  dwell  apart, 

In  a  fellowless  firmament; 

There  are  pioneer  souls  that  blaze  their  paths 

Where  highways  never  ran — 

But  let  me  live  by  the  side  of  the  road 

And  be  a  friend  to  man. 


Samuel 

Walter 

Foss, 

"The 

House 

by  the 

Side  of 

the 

Road" 


Let  me  live  in  a  house  by  the  side  of  the  road 

Where  the  race  of  men  go  by — 

The  men  who  are  good  and  the  men  who  are  bad, 

As  good  and  as  bad  as  I. 

I  would  not  sit  in  the  scorner's  seat 

Or  hurl  the  cynic's  ban — 

Let  me  live  in  a  house  by  the  side  of  the  road 

And  be  a  friend  to  man. 

I  see  from  my  house  by  the  side  of  the  road 

By  the  side  of  the  highway  of  life, 

The  men  who  press  with  the  ardor  of  hope, 

The  men  who  are  faint  with  the  strife, 

But  I  turn  not  away  from  their  smiles  nor  their 

tears, 
Both  parts  of  an  infinite  plan — 
Let  me  live  in  my  house  by  the  side  of  the  road 
And  be  a  friend  to  man. 


I  know  there  are  brook-gladdened  meadows  ahead, 
And  mountains  of  wearisome  height; 
That  the  road  passes  on  through  the  long  after- 
noon 
And  stretches  away  to  the  night. 
And  still  I  rejoice  when  the  travelers  rejoice 
And  weep  with  the  strangers  that  moan, 
Nor  live  in  my  house  by  the  side  of  the  road 
Like  a  man  who  dwells  alone. 


72 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


Henry 

Codman 

Potter 


Shake- 
speare 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son 


Pope 


Balzac 

John 

Ernest 

McCann 


Emerson 


Kindness  given  and  received  aright,  and 
knitting  two  hearts  into  one,  is  a  thing  of 
Heaven,  as  rare  in  this  world  as  perfect 
love;  both  are  the  overflow  of  only  very 
rare  and  beautiful  souls. 

One's  own  life  must  somehow  reach  over 
into  and  be  qualified  by,  the  struggles  and 
interests  of  other  lives. 

Love  all,  trust  a  few, 
Do  wrong  to  none:  be  able  for  thine  enemy 
Rather  in  power  than  in  use;  and  keep  thy  friend 
Under  thy  own  life's  key. 

There  is  an  idea  abroad  among  moral 
people  that  they  should  make  their  neigh- 
bors good.  One  person  I  have  to  make 
good:  myself.  But  my  duty  to  my  neigh- 
bor is  much  more  nearly  expressed  by  say- 
ing that  I  have  to  make  him  happy — if  I 
may. 

My  friend  is  not  perfect — no  more  am  I 
— and  so  we  suit  each  other  admirably. 

Short  accounts  make  long  friends. 

"I  would  go  up  to  the  gates  of  hell  with  a  friend, 

Through  thick  and  thin." 
The  other  said,  as  he  bit  off  a  concha  end, 

"I  would  go  in." 

Neither  is  life  long  enough  for  friend- 
ship. 


ON  BEING  A  FRIEND 


73 


My  friend  is  that  one  whom  I  may  asso- 
ciate with  my  choicest  thoughts. 

We  are  different  with  different  friends; 
yet  if  we  look  closely  we  shall  find  that 
every  such  relation  reposes  on  some  par- 
ticular apotheosis  of  oneself;  with  each 
friend,  although  we  could  not  distinguish 
it  in  words  from  any  other,  we  have  at 
least  one  special  reputation  to  preserve. 

Happy  is  the  house  that  shelters  a  friend ! 
It  might  well  be  built,  like  a  festal  bower 
or  arch,  to  entertain  him  for  a  single  day. 

The  social,  friendly,  honest  man, 

Whate'er  he  be, 
T  is  he  fulfills  great  Nature's  plan, 

And  none  but  he! 

We  must  be  as  careful  to  keep  friends  as 
to  make  them. 

There  is  the  kind  of  friend,  that  when 
you  need  help  has  a  good  reason  just  at 
the  moment,  of  course,  why  it  is  impossible 
to  extend  it.  I  do  not  mean  to  criticize  this 
sort  of  friendship;  for  sometimes  it  is  a 
matter  of  temperament;  and  sometimes 
the  real  necessities  are  such  that  the  friend 
cannot  do  as  he  would  like  to  do. 

A  friend  is  he  that  loves,  and  he  that  is 
beloved. 


Thoreau 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son in 
"Men 
and 
Books" 


Emerson 


Robert 
Burns 


Lord 
Avebury 


John  D. 
Rocke- 
feller 


Hobbe's 
Rhetoric 


74 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Phillips 
Brooks 


I  pity  from  my  heart  the  man  who  has 
no  patternman  whom  he  can  thoroughly 
admire  and  esteem.  Admire,  yes,  wonder  at, 
look  at,  as  something  beyond,  above,  and 
truly  better  than  himself;  dreaming  no 
more  of  being  jealous  of  his  superiority 
than  you  were  jealous  of  William  Shake- 
speare when  you  wrote  your  last  verse  for 
the  paper;  honoring  his  friend  so  purely 
that  he  himself  is  purified  and  dignified  by 
the  worthiness  of  the  honor  he  bestows. 


Shake-  To  wail  friends  lost 

speare       Is  not  by  much  so  wholesome  profitable 
As  to  rejoice  at  friends  but  newly  found. 

It  is  delightful  to  me  to  go  mad  over  a 
friend  restored  to  me. 


Men  know  the  number  of  their  posses- 
sions, although  they  be  very  numerous, 
but  of  their  friends,  though  but  few,  they 
were  not  only  ignorant  of  the  number,  but 
even  when  they  attempted  to  reckon  it  to 
such  as  asked  them,  they  set  aside  again 
some  that  they  have  previously  counted 
among  their  friends;  so  little  did  they  al- 
low their  friends  to  occupy  their  thoughts. 
Yet  in  comparison  with  what  possession 
would  not  a  good  friend  appear  far  more 
valuable? 


ON  BEING  A  FRIEND 


75 


But  though  one  cannot  be  friends  with 
every  one,  it  is  better  to  be  friendly  than 
unfriendly,  and  those  who  have  really  loved 
anyone,  will  have  some  tenderness  for  all. 

My  friend,  the  brother  of  my  love. 

As  ships  meet  at  sea, — a  moment  to- 
gether, when  words  of  greeting  must  be 
spoken,  and  then  away  upon  the  deep, — so 
men  meet  in  this  world;  and  I  think  we 
should  cross  no  man's  path  without  hail- 
ing him,  and  if  he  needs,  giving  him  sup- 
plies. 

Antonio: 
Commend  me  to  your  honorable  wife; 
Tell  her  of  the  process  of  Antonio's  end; 
Say  how  I  loved  you,  speak  me  fair  in  death; 
And  when  the  tale  is  told,  bid  her  be  judge, 
Whether  Bassanio  had  not  once  a  love, 
And  he  repents  not  that  he  pays  your  debt; 
For,  if  the  Jew  do  cut  but  deep  enough, 
I  '11  pay  it  instantly  with  all  my  heart. 

Bassanio: 
Antonio,  I  am  married  to  a  wife, 
Who  is  dear  to  me  as  life  itself; 
But  life  itself,  my  wife,  and  all  the  world, 
Are  not  esteem'd  above  your  life: 
I  would  lose  all,  ay,  sacrifice  them  all, 
Here  to  this  devil,  to  deliver  you. 

True  friends  visit  us  in  prosperity,  only 
when  invited;  but  in  adversity  they  come 
without  invitation. 


Lord 
Avebury 
in  "The 
Pleasures 
of  Life" 


Tennyson 


Henry 

Ward 

Beecher 


Shake- 
speare 
"The 
Merchant 
ot  Ven- 
ice," Act 
iv.  Sc.  1 


Theoph- 
rastus 


76 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Alfred 
Henry 
Lewis 


Watts- 
Dunton 

Emerson 


Abraham 
Lincoln 


Publilius 
Syrus 

Author 
Unknown 


James 
Russell 
Lowell 


McDon- 
ald 

Henry 

David 

Thoreau 


Erasmus 


Were  I  made  to  prognosticate  the  future 
of  a  man,  I  would  first  put  my  ear  to  his 
heart. 

Life  hath  no  joy  like  his  who  fights  with  Fate 
Shoulder  to  shoulder  with  a  stricken  friend. 

A  day  for  toil,  an  hour  for  sport, 
But  for  a  friend  is  life  too  short. 

He  sticks  through  thick  and  thin — I  ad- 
mire such  a  man. 

To  bear  a  friend's  faults  is  to  make  them 
your  own. 

I  expect  to  pass  through  this  world  but 
once.  Any  good  therefore  that  I  can  do,  or 
any  kindness  that  I  can  show  to  any  fellow 
creature,  let  me  do  it  now.  Let  me  not  de- 
fer or  neglect  it,  for  I  shall  not  pass  this 
way  again. 

Does  it  make  a  man  worse  than  his  character  's 

such 
As  to  make  his  friends  love  him  (as  you  think) 

too  much? 

A  true  friend  is  forever  a  friend. 

I  had  three  chairs  in  my  house;  one  for 
solitude,  two  for  friendship,  three  for  so- 
ciety. 

He  does  good  to  himself,  who  does  good 
to  his  friend. 


ON  BEING  A  FRIEND 


77 


If  a  man  does  not  make  new  acquaintances 
as  he  advances  through  life,  he  will  soon 
find  himself  left  alone.  A  man  should  keep 
his  friendship  in  constant  repair. 

Friend-making,    everywhere,    friend-finding    soul, 
Fit  for  the  sunshine,  so,  it  followed  him. 

Never  do  a  wrong  thing  to  make  a  friend 
or  to  keep  one. 

But  he  that  loves  to  be  loved, 

And  in  his  deeds  doth  adore  Heaven's  power, 
And  is  with  pity  moved; 

The  night  gives  rest  to  his  heart, 
The  cheerful  beams  do  awake  his  soul, 

Revived  in  every  part. 
He  lives  a  comfort  to  his  friends, 
And  Heaven  to  him  such  blessing  sends. 

What 's  the  good  of  money  if  it  ain't  to 
help  a  friend  out  with?  I  believe  in  friends, 
I  do.  Here  we  go  hopping  around  this 
little  world  for  a  small  time,  and  then  that 's 
done.  S'pose  you  ain't  got  any  real 
friends  for  the  trip?    Rotten,  I  say. 

Grieve  not  at  doing  well  to  friends 
But  rather,  if  thou  hast  not,  grieve. 

Always  in  preaching  the  parson  had 
looked  for  the  face  of  his  friend;  always  it 
had  been  his  mainstay,  interpreter,  stead- 
fast advocate  in  every  plea  for  perfection 
of  life. 


Samuel 
Johnson 


Robert 
Browning 

Robert 
E.  Lee 


Thomas 
Campion 


Henry 

Wallace 

Phillips 


Plautus 


James 
Lane 

Allen 


7S 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Phaedrus 


Samuel 
Johnson 


Henry  W. 
Long- 
fellow 


Richard 
Hovey 


Alexan- 
der Pope 

Bruce 
Hender- 
son 


Cicero 


Michael 
de  Mont- 
aigne on 
"Friend- 
ship" 


The  name  of  friend  is  common,  but  faith 
in  friendship  is  rare. 

We  may  have  many  acquaintances,  but 
we  can  have  few  friends. 

Yes,  we  must  ever  be  friends,  and  of  all  who  offer 

you  friendship, 
Let  me  ever  be  the  first,  the  truest,  the  nearest, 

and  the  dearest. 

This  is  my  friend — through  good  or  ill  report 
My  friend.    He  who  injures  him  by  word  or  deed, 
Were  it  but  the  thin  film  of  an  idle  breath 
Clouding  the  clear  glass  of  a  stainless  soul, 
He  injures  me. 

Two  friends,  two  bodies  with  one  soul 
inspired. 

It  is  not  so  difficult  to  sacrifice  principle 
to  oblige  a  friend  as  it  is  to  give  up  one's 
feeling  of  superiority  over  him. 

He  who  looks  into  the  face  of  a  friend 
beholds,  as  it  were,  a  copy  of  himself. 

Common  friendship  will  admit  of  divi- 
sion, one  may  love  the  beauty  of  this,  the 
good  humor  of  that  person,  the  liberality 
of  a  third,  the  paternal  affection  of  a  fourth, 
the  fraternal  love  of  a  fifth,  and  so  on.  But 
this  friendship  that  possesses  the  whole 
soul,  and  there  rules  and  sways  with  an 
absolute  sovereignty,  can  admit  of  no  rival. 


ON  BEING  A  FRIEND 


79 


You  have  done  me  friendships  infinite 
and  often. 

The  happiest  moments  my  heart  knows 
are  those  in  which  it  is  pouring  forth  its 
affections  to  a  few  esteemed  characters. 

A  true  heart  admits  of  but  one  friend- 
ship, as  of  one  love;  but  in  having  that 
friend  I  have  a  thousand. 

A  friend  ought  to  shun  no  pain,  to  stand 
his  friend  in  stead. 

So,  if  I  live  or  die  to  serve  my  friend, 
'T  is  for  my  love — 't  is  for  my  friend  alone, 
And  not  for  any  rate  that  friendship  bears 
In  heaven  or  on  earth. 

It  is  no  excuse  for  wrong  doing  that  you 
do  wrong  for  the  sake  of  a  friend. 

Thine  own  friend,  and  thy  father's  friend, 
forsake  not. 

Let  us  be  friends,  and  treat  each  other 
like  friends. 

Whene'er  we  grasp  the  hands  of  those 

We  would  have  for  ever  nigh, 
The  flame  of  friendship  burns  and  glows 

In  the  warm,  frank  words  "Good-bye." 

The  friendship  between  you  and  me  I 
will  not  compare  to  a  chain;  for  that  the 
rains  might  rust,  or  the  falling  tree  break. 


Beau- 
mont 
Fletcher 

Thomas 
Jefferson 


William 
Wycherly 


Richard 
Edwards 


George 
Eliot  in 
"Spanish 
Gypsy" 


Cicero 


Proberbs 
of  Solo- 
mon 

Lincoln 


Eliza 
Cook 


George 
Bancroft 


8o 

THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 

Shake- 
speare 

A    friend    whose    thoughts    most    truly 
labor  to  recompense  your  love. 

Pope 

Who  ne'er  knew  joy  but  friendship  might  di- 
vide. 

Proberb 

When  a  friend  asks,  there  is  no  to-mor- 

row. 

Robert 

The  solitude  of  the  most  sublime  idealist 

Louis 
Steven- 
son 

is  broken  in  upon  by  other  people's  faces; 
he  sees  a  look  in  their  eyes  that  corresponds 

to  something  in  his  own  heart;  there  comes 

a  tone  in  their  voice  which  convicts  him  of 

a  startling   weakness   for   his  fellow   crea- 

tures. 

James 
Whit- 
comb 
Riley 

Oh,  the  present  is  too  sweet 

To  go  on  forever  thus! 

Who  can  say  what  waits  for  us? 

Meeting,  greeting,  night  and  day, 

Faring  each  the  self-same  way — 

Still  somewhere  the  path  must  end — 

Reach  your  hand  to  me,  my  friend! 

Henry 

Ward 

Beecher 

Of  all  earthly  music  that  which  reaches 
farthest   into   heaven   is   the   beating   of   a 
loving  heart. 

Gold- 
smith 

A  kind  and  gentle  heart  he  had, 
To  comfort  friends  and  foes. 

Rabbi 
Hillel 

Judge  not  thy  friend  until  thou  standest 
in  his  place. 

ON  BEING  A  FRIEND 


81 


What  can  be  more  encouraging  than  to 
find  the  friend  who  was  welcome  at  one 
age  welcome  at  another? 

Of  our  mixed  life  two  quests  are  given  control: 

Food  for  the  body,  friendship  for  the  soul. 

High  as  the  spirit  hovers  o'er  its  flesh 

The  second  quest  is  free,  serene,  and  fresh. 

O  sorrow,  that  so  oft  the  first  betrays 

This  eager  searching  of  celestial  ways! 

O  bitter  sorrow  that  the  first  can  rise 

And  pluck  his  soaring  brother  from  the  skies! 

And  there  is  joy  in  musing  how  there  can  be, 

These  twain  in  some  lives  ruling  tranquilly. 

None  may  charge  that  I  have  smiled  on 
him  in  order  to  use  him,  or  called  him  my 
friend  that  I  might  make  him  do  for  me 
the  work  of  a  servant. 

Nothing  is  more  friendly  to  a  man  than 
a  friend  in  need. 

Cultivate  the  friendships  of  thy  youth; 
it  is  only  in  that  generous  time  they  are 
formed. 

Though  in  distant  lands  we  sigh, 
Parched  beneath  a  hostile  sky; 
Though  the  deep  between  us  rolls 
Friendship  shall  unite  our  souls. 

The  desire  to  be  beloved  is  ever  restless 
and  unsatisfied;  but  the  love  that  flows  out 
upon  others  is  a  perpetual  wellspring  from 
on  high. 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son 

Arthur 
Upson 


James 

Lane 

Allen 


Plautus 


William 
Thack- 
eray 


"When 
Shall  We 
Three 
Meet 
Again" 

Lydia 
Maria 
Child 


82 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Michael 
de  Mont- 
aigne on 
"Friend- 
ship" 


R.  Barn- 
field 


James 
Russell 
Lowell 


Latin 
Proverb 

Shake- 
speare 


What  we  commonly  call  friends  and 
friendships  are  nothing  but  acquaintance 
and  connection,  contracted  either  by  acci- 
dent or  upon  some  design,  by  means  of 
which  there  happens  some  little  intercourse 
betwixt  our  souls:  but,  in  the  friendship  I 
speak  of,  they  mingle  and  melt  into  one 
piece,  with  so  universal  a  mixture  that 
there  is  left  no  more  sign  of  the  seam  by 
which  they  were  first  conjoined. 

He  that  is  thy  friend  indeed 
He  will  help  thee  in  thy  need. 

My  friend,  adown  Life's  valley,  hand  in  hand, 
With  grateful  change  of  grave  and  merry  speech 
Or  song,  our  hearts  unlocking  each  to  each, 
We  '11  journey  onward  to  the  silent  land; 
And  when  stern   Death   shall   loose   that  loving 

band, 
Taking  in  his  cold  hand  a  hand  of  ours, 
The  one  shall  strew  the  other's  grave  with  flowers, 
Nor  shall  his  heart  a  moment  be  unmanned. 
My  friend  and  brother!  if  thou  goest  first, 
Wilt  thou  no  more  revisit  me  below? 
Yea,  when  my  heart  seems  happy  causelessly 
And  swells,  not  dreaming  why,  as  it  would  burst 
With  joy  unspeakable — my  soul  shall  know 
That  thou,  unseen,  art  bending  over  me. 

I  spare  no  cost  so  long  as  I  serve  my 
friend. 

I  weigh  my  friend's  affection  with  mine 
own. 


ON  BEING  A  FRIEND 


83 


A  fellow  feeling  makes  one  wondrous 
kind. 

Friendship  is  the  simple  reflection  of 
souls  by  each  other. 

Statesman,  yet  friend  to  truth!  of  soul  serene, 
In  action  faithful,  and  in  honor  clear; 
Who  broke  no  promise,  served  no  private  end, 

Who  gained  no  title,  and  who  lost  no  friend. 

For  when  did  friendship  take 
A  breed  for  barren  metal  of  his  friend. 

Greater  love  hath  no  man  than  this,  that 
a  man  lay  down  his  life  for  his  friends. 

Absent  or  present,  still  to  thee 

My  friend,  what  magic  spells  belong. 

What  do  we  live  for  if  not  to  make  life 
less  difficult  to  each  other. 

Man  looks  for  man — not  any  man,  but 
the  friend-man. 

That  he  had  "a  genius  for  friendship"  goes 
without  saying,  for  he  was  rich  in  the  hu- 
mility, the  patience  and  the  powers  of  trust, 
which  such  a  genius  implies.  Yet  his  love 
had,  too,  the  rarer  and  more  strenuous 
temper  which  requires  "the  common  aspira- 
tion," is  jealous  for  a  friend's  growth,  and 
has  the  nerve  to  criticise.  It  is  the  measure 
of  what  he  felt  friendship  to  be,  that  he  has 
defined  religion  in  the  terms  of  it. 


David 
Garrick 

William 
Alger 


Alexan- 
der Pope 


Shake- 
speare 

Book  of 
John 

Lord 
Byron 

George 
Eliot 


Parker 


George 

Adam 

Smith  of 

Henry 

Drum- 

mond 


ON  BEING  BEFRIENDED 


ON  BEING  BEFRIENDED 


87 


I  don't  readily  forget  old  friends,  nor 
easily  stop  loving  anybody  I  have  ever 
loved.  However,  I  learned  long  ago  not  to 
expect  more  than  three  people  to  care  for 
me  at  a  time — maybe  I  'm  extravagant  in 
saying  three. 

The  parable  of  Pythagoras  is  dark,  but 
true,  "Cor  ne  edito" — eat  not  the  heart. 
Certainly,  if  a  man  would  give  it  a  hard 
phrase,  those  that  want  friends  to  open 
themselves  unto  are  cannibals  of  their  own 
hearts. 

Companions  I  have  enough,  friends  few. 

Much  as  worthy  friends  add  to  the  hap- 
piness and  value  of  life,  we  must  in  the 
main  depend  upon  ourselves,  and  every  one 
is  his  own  best  friend,  or  worst  enemy. 

Ah,  friends!  before  my  listening  ear  lies  low, 
While  I  can  hear  and  understand,  bestow 

That  gentle  treatment  and  fond  love,   I  pray. 

The  luster  of  whose  late,  though  radiant  ray 
Would  gild  my  grave  with  mocking  light,  I  know, 

If  I  should  die. 

Happy  is  he  who  wins  friends  in  early 
life  by  true  affinities.  He  multiplies  him- 
self; he  has  more  hands  and  feet  than  his 
own,  and  other  fortresses  to  flee  into  when 
his  own  are  dismantled  by  evil  fortune,  and 
other  hearts  to  throb  with  his  joy. 


James 

Russell 

Lowell 


Francis 

Bacon 

"Of 

Friend- 
ship" 


Pope 

Lord 
Avebury 


Ella 

Wheeler 

Wilcox 


Theodore 
Munger 
"On  the 
Thres- 
hold" 


88 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Francis 

Bacon 

"Of 

Friend- 
ship" 


Eliza 
Cook 


Victor 
Hugo 


Plutarch 

in  "Life 

of  Solon" 


It  is  strange  thing  to  behold  what  gross 
errors  and  extreme  absurdities  many  (es- 
pecially of  the  greater  sort)  do  commit  for 
the  want  of  a  friend  to  tell  them  of  them. 

Oh!  as  we  prove  the  life-boat,  so  we  often  prove 

a  friend; 
And  those  who  promise  least  of  all,  are  truest  in 

the  end. 
No  figure-head  of  gold  and  red  may  mark  them 

as  they  go; 
But   how  their  honest  planks  will  stand   when 

trouble-tempests  blow. 
They  may  not  dance  around  us  on  the  broad  and 

sunlit  tide, 
But  'twixt  the  gale  and  dark  lee-shore  we  find 

them  close  beside. 
A  cheer,  then,  for  the  noble  breast  that  fears  not 

danger's  post: 
And,   like  the   life-boat,   proves  a   friend,  when 

friends  are  wanted  most. 

The  greatest  happiness  of  life  is  the  con- 
viction that  we  are  loved,  loved  for  our- 
selves, or  rather  loved  in  spite  of  ourselves. 

Anacharsis  coming  to  Athens,  knocked 
at  Solon's  door,  and  told  him  that  he,  be- 
ing a  stranger,  was  come  to  be  his  guest, 
and  contract  a  friendship  with  him;  and 
Solon  replying,  "It  is  better  to  make 
friends  at  home,"  Anacharsis  replied, 
"Then  you  that  are  at  home  make  friend- 
ship with  me." 


ON  BEING  BEFRIENDED 


89 


There  is  more  to  do  than  one  can  do 
alone,  and  an  unfriended  life  will  be  poor 
and  meager. 

Above  our  life  we  love  a  faithful  friend. 

Oh,  I  have  roamed  o'er  many  lands, 

And  many  friends  I  've  met; 
Not  one  fair  scene  or  kindly  smile 

Can  this  fond  heart  forget. 

A  pleasant  companion  on  the  way  is  as 
good  as  a  carriage. 

A  friend  is  dearer  than  the  light  of 
heaven;  for  it  would  be  better  for  us  that 
the  sun  were  extinguished,  than  that  we 
should  be  without  friends. 

If,  as  a  mere  matter  of  strength  and  re- 
source, I  were  to  face  life  with  the  choice 
of  either  a  fortune  or  friends,  I  would 
choose  the  latter  as  more  helpful. 

True  be  thy  sword,  thy  friend  sincere! 

We  were  friends  from  the  first  moment. 
Sincere  attachments  usually  begin  at  the 
beginning. 

My  God,  my  Father  and  my  Friend, 
Do  not  forsake  me  at  my  end. 

I  account  more  strength  in  a  true  heart 
than  in  a  walled  city. 


Theodore 
Munger 


Marlowe 

Thomas 
Haynes 
Bailey 


Puhlilius 
Syrus 


Saint 

Chrysos- 

tom 


Theodore 
Munger 


Scott 


Joseph 
Jefferson 


Roscom- 
mon 


John 
Lyle 


9° 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Saadi 


Jean 

de  la 

Bruyere 

John 

Vance 

Cheney 


Samuel 
Johnson 


Lord 
Byron 

Plautus 


Porter 

Cicero 
"On 
Friend- 
ship" 


Neither  of  my  own  free  will  cast  I  my- 
self into  the  fire;  for  the  chain  of  affection 
was  laid  upon  my  neck.  I  was  still  at  a 
distance  when  the  fire  began  to  glow,  nor 
is  this  the  moment  that  it  was  lighted  up 
within  me.  Who  shall  impute  it  to  me  as 
a  fault,  that  I  am  enchanted  by  my  friend, 
that  I  am  content  in  casting  myself  at  his 
feet? 

One  faithful  friend  is  enough  for  a  man's 
self;  't  is  much  to  meet  with  such  an  one. 

A  kind  heart  greets  me  here  and  there; 

I  hide  from  it  my  doubts  and  fears. 
I  trudge,  and  say  the  path  is  fair 

Along  the  years. 

What  is  a  friend?  One  who  supports 
you  and  comforts  you,  while  others  do  not. 

How  much  thy  friendship  was  above 
Description's  power  of  words. 

He  does  nothing  who  consoles  a  despair- 
ing man  with  his  words ;  he  is  a  friend  who 
in  a  difficulty  helps  by  deeds,  where  there 
is  need  of  deeds. 

A  friend  is  not  so  soon  gotten  as  lost. 

Nothing  indeed  yields  a  richer  revenue 
than  kind  affections,  nothing  gives  more 
delight  than  the  interchange  of  friendly 
care  and  offices. 


ON  BEING  BEFRIENDED 


9i 


Friends  and  acquaintances  are  the  surest 
passport  to  fortune. 

Large  was  his  bounty,  and  his  soul  serene, 
Heaven  did  a  recompense  as  largely  send; 

He  gave  to  Misery  all  he  had,  a  tear; 

He  gained  from  Heaven  ('t  was  all  he  wished) 
a  friend. 

Nothing  is  dearer  to  a  man  than  a  serv- 
iceable friend. 

Friendship  enhances  the  luster  of  pros- 
perity and  by  dividing  and  sharing  adver- 
sity lessens  its  burden. 

I'm  very  lonely  now,  Mary, 

For  the  poor  make  no  new  friends; 

But  oh,  they  love  the  better  still 
The  few  our  Father  sends! 

Be  a  friend ;  the  rest  will  follow. 

We  attract  hearts  by  the  qualities  we  dis- 
play; we  retain  them  by  the  qualities  we 
possess. 

To  be  rich  in  friends  is  to  be  poor  in 
nothing. 

But  other  loads  than  this  his  own 

One  man  is  not  well  made  to  bear. 

Besides,  to  each  are  his  own  friends, 
To  mourn  with  him,  and  show  him  care. 

My  dearest  meed,  a  friend's  esteem  and 
praise. 


Schopen- 
hauer 


Thomas 
Gray 


Plautus 


Cicero 
"On 
Friend- 
ship" 

Lady 
Dufferin 


Dickerson 
Suard 


Lilian 
Whiting 

Matthew 
Arnold 


Robert 
Burns 


92 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Frederica 
Bremer 


Emerson 


Elizabeth 
Browning 

French 
Proverb 


Robert 
Burns 


Phillips 
Brooks 


Saint 

Chrysos- 

tom 


John 
Holden 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


Emerson 


That  faithful  friendship  which  never 
changes,  and  which  will  accompany  you 
with  its  calm  light  through  the  whole  of 
life. 

Friendship,  like  the  immortality  of  the 
soul,  is  too  good  to  be  believed. 

Sweet  the  help 
Of  one  we  have  helped. 

A  companion  on  the  way  is  better  than 
money  in  the  purse. 

His  honest,  sonsie,  baws'nt  face 
Aye  got  him  friends  in  ilka  place. 

There  is  as  yet  no  culture,  no  method  of 
progress  known  to  men,  that  is  so  rich 
and  complete  as  that  which  is  ministered 
by  a  truly  great  friendship. 

I  have  known  one  who  used  to  beg  of 
holy  men  to  pray,  first  for  his  friend  and 
then  for  himself. 

Who  takes  a  fool  to  be  his  friend 
Will  stay  a  fool  until  the  end. 

Friendship  knows  nothing  of  bankrupt 
sentiment  and  collapsed  joys;  love,  after 
giving  more  than  it  has,  ends  by  giving 
less  than  it  receives. 

O,  be  my  friend,  and  teach  me  to  be 
thine. 


ON  BEING  BEFRIENDED 


93 


I  believe  that  more  breaches  of  friend- 
ship and  love  have  been  created,  and  more 
hatred  cemented  by  needless  criticism  than 
by  any  one  other  thing. 

Great  souls  by  instinct  to  each  other  turn, 
Demand  alliance,  and  in  friendship  burn. 

A  man,  be  the  heavens  ever  praised,  is 
sufficient  for  himself;  yet  were  ten  men, 
united  in  love,  capable  of  being  and  of  do- 
ing what  ten  thousand  singly  would  fail 
in.  Infinite  is  the  help  man  can  yield  to 
man. 

And  tho'  his  foes  speak  ill  of  him, 
He  was  a  friend  to  me. 

It  is  sublime  to  feel  and  say  of  another, 
I  need  never  meet,  or  speak  or  write  to  him ; 
we  need  not  reinforce  ourselves  or  send 
tokens  of  remembrance;  I  rely  on  him  as 
on  myself;  if  he  did  thus  and  thus,  I  know 
it  was  right. 

Charity  is  love,  and  love  charity.  God 
grant  us  all  therein  to  be  friended! 

And  thou,  my  friend,  whose  gentle  love 

Yet  thrills  my  bosom's  chords, 
How  much  thy  friendship  was  above 

Description's  power  of  words. 

Life  should  be  fortified  by  many  friend- 
ships. 


Sir 

Arthur 

Helps 


Joseph 
Addison 


Thomas 
Carlyle 
in  "Sar- 
tor Re- 
sartus" 


Alfred 
Tennyson 

Ralph 
Waldo 
Emerson 


Usk's 
Testa- 
ment 

Lord 
Byron 


Sydney 
Smith 


VI 
THE  ADVICE  OF  FRIENDS 


THE    ADVICE  OF  FRIENDS 


97 


Advice  can  hardly  come  from  any  other 
than  a  friend  when  the  question  involves 
grave  issues.  A  stranger  is  not  sufficiently 
interested,  a  relative  is  blinded  by  excess 
of  love,  but  a  friend's  advice  is  tempered 
by  affection,  while  it  is  not  over-ruled  by 
the  imperativeness  of  natural  instinct. 
There  is  much  wisdom  in  the  every-day 
words  "As  a  friend  I  advise  you,"  for  no 
other  can  advise  so  well. 

Too  true  to  flatter,  and  too  kind  to  sneer, 
And  only  just  when  seemingly  severe; 
So  gently  blending  courtesy  and  art, 
That  wisdom's  lips  seemed  borrowing  friendship's 
heart. 

Animals  are  such  agreeable  friends— 
they  ask  no  questions,  they  pass  no  criti- 
cisms. 

If  it  is  abuse,  why,  one  is  always  sure  to 
hear  it  from  one  damned  good-natured 
friend  or  another. 

Ointment  and  perfume  rejoice  the  heart: 
so  doth  the  sweetness  of  a  man's  friend  by 
hearty  counsel. 

Softening  harsh  words  in  friendship's 
gentle  tone. 

The  best  preservative  to  keep  the  mind 
in  health  is  the  faithful  admonition  of  a 
friend. 


Theodore 
Munger 
"On  the 
Thres- 
hold" 


Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


George 
Eliot 


Richard 
Sheridan 


Proberhs 


Shelley 


Francis 
Bacon 


98 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Edwarfl 

Sandford 

Martin 


With  disparity  of  means  and  the  other 
disparities,  most  of  which  (except  sex) 
impinge  on  it  somewhere,  comes  the  great 
daily  question  of  associates.  The  world, 
luckily,  is  full  of  people  of  different  genders 
and  manners  and  unequal  fortunes  and  abil- 
ities, all  of  whom  are  ours  to  know  and  play 
with  if  we  can.  But  we  cannot  play  with 
them  all;  they  are  too  many.  We  must 
choose  and  be  chosen.  Some  measure  of 
selection  becomes  inevitable,  and  of  course 
selection  implies  some  degree  of  exclusion. 
Tastes  differ,  and  a  preference  for  one  per- 
son or  one  lot  of  people  does  not  necessarily 
imply  disparagement  of  others.  Propin- 
quity, associations,  relationship,  and  various 
circumstances  determine  who  our  friends 
shall  be,  and  the  advantage  of  having  desir- 
able and  profitable  friends  is  so  obvious 
that  the  most  careless  observer  cannot  fail 
to  discern  it. 

Indeed,  suitable  acquaintances  are  so 
good  to  have  that  appreciation  of  the  ad- 
vantage of  having  them  leads  some  of  us 
into  the  serious  mistake  of  being  over  par- 
ticular as  to  whom  we  shall  know.  The  de- 
sire for  the  company  of  the  best  people  we 
can  get  at — our  betters  if  possible — is  an 
aspiration  that  in  itself  is  creditable  to  our 
intelligence,  but  we  fall  into  a  serious  mis- 
take when  we  let  it  go  so  far  as  to  prompt 


THE    ADVICE  OF  FRIENDS 


99 


us  to  limit  our  acquaintances  to  just  the 
right  people  and  no  others.  To  know  many 
people  and  many  kinds  of  people  is  in  itself 
a  very  advantageous  thing;  for  the  more 
people  we  know,  the  better  chance  we  have 
to  learn  whom  we  like  and  whom  we  can 
help  and  who  can  help  us. 

The  people — the  great  mass  of  the  people 
— are  the  fountain  of  honor  and  the  main 
source  of  most  advantages.  The  wise 
course  is  to  get  in  touch  with  as  many  of 
them  as  is  reasonably  convenient.  There 
are  a  thousand  relationships  in  life  besides 
dinner-giving  relations  that  are  worth  while ; 
there  are  a  thousand  phases  of  friendship 
that  are  worth  cultivating  besides  the  kind 
that  flourishes  between  persons  of  equal  so- 
cial condition.  In  every  walk  of  life  there 
are  the  traits  that  invite  and  repay  friend- 
ship. There  is  a  common  ground,  if  one's 
feet  can  only  find  it,  on  which  all  true  people 
can  stand  in  a  substantial  equality,  an  equal- 
ity of  the  spirit  and  the  affections. 


He  had  a  store 
Of  friends  and  fortune  once,  as  we  could  guess 
From  his  nice  habits  and  his  gentleness. 


Percy 

Bysshe 

Shelley 


Friendship  must  be  something  else  than 
a  society  for  mutual  improvement — indeed, 
it  must  only  be  that  by  the  way,  and  to  some 
extent  unconsciously. 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son 


IOO 


Sir 

Arthur 

Helps 


Publilius 
Syrus 


Francis 
Bacon 
"Of 
Friend- 
ship" 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Edward 
Bulwer 
Lytton 


Proverb 


Henry 

David 

Thoreau 

in  "Early 

Spring" 


You  seldom  need  wait  for  the  written 
life  of  a  man  to  hear  about  his  weaknesses, 
or  what  are  supposed  to  be  such,  if  you 
know  his  intimate  friends  or  meet  him  in 
company  with  them. 

Admonish  your  friends  in  private;  praise 
them  in  public. 

Heraclitus  saith  well,  in  one  of  his  enig- 
mas, "Dry  light  is  ever  the  best."  And 
certain  it  is  that  the  light  that  a  man  re- 
ceiveth  by  counsel  from  another  is  drier 
and  purer  than  that  which  cometh  from 
his  own  understanding  and  judgment 
which  is  ever  infused  and  drenched  in  his 
affections  and  customs. 

There  is  no  man  so  friendless  but  what 
he  can  find  a  friend  sincere  enough  to  tell 
him  disagreeable  truths. 

A  friend's  frown  is  better  than  a  fool's 
smile. 

A  friend  advises  by  his  whole  behavior, 
and  never  condescends  to  particulars.  An- 
other chides  away  a  fault,  he  loves  it  away. 
While  he  see  the  other's  error  he  is  silently 
conscious  of  it,  and  only  the  more  loves 
truth  itself,  and  assists  his  friend  in  loving 
it,  till  the  fault  is  expelled  and  gently  ex- 
tinguished. 


THE  ADVICE  OF  FRIENDS 


IOI 


Before  giving  advice  we  must  have  se- 
cured its  acceptance,  rather,  have  made  it 
desired. 

It  is  well  and  right,  indeed  to  be  courte- 
ous and  considerate  to  every  one  with 
whom  we  are  brought  into  contact,  but  to 
choose  them  as  real  friends  is  another  mat- 
ter. 

I  speak  to  thee  in  Friendship's  name. 

Friends  require  to  be  advised  and  re- 
proved, and  such  treatment,  when  it  is 
kindly,  should  be  taken  in  a  friendly  spirit. 

He  that  gives  advice  to  his  friend  and 
exacts  obedience  to  it,  does  not  the  kind- 
ness and  ingenuity  of  a  friend,  but  the 
office  and  pertness  of  a  school-master. 

Friendship  e'er  totters  on  the  brink, 
With  friends  who  say  just  what  they  think; 
They  end,  who  give  advice  unsought, 
In  saying  what  they  never  thought. 

There  is  as  much  difference  between  the 
counsel  that  a  friend  giveth  and  that  a  man 
giveth  himself  as  there  is  between  the 
counsel  of  a  friend  and  a  flatterer;  for 
there  is  no  such  flatterer  as  a  man's  self, 
and  there  is  no  such  remedy  against  flat- 
tery of  a  man's  self  as  the  liberty  of  a 
friend. 


AmiePs 
Journal 


Lord 
Avetmry 


Moore 

Cicero 
"On 
Friend- 
ship" 

Jeremy 
Taylor 


Christo- 
pher 
Bannister 


Francis 
Bacon 
"Of 

Friend- 
ship" 


VII 
OUR  FRIENDS  THE  ENEMY 


OUR  FRIENDS  THE  ENEMY 


God  preserve  me  from  my  friends;  from 
my  enemies  I  will  preserve  myself. 

When  fails  our  dearest  friend, 

There  may  be  refuge  with  our  direst  foe. 

It  is  always  safe  to  learn,  even  from  our 
enemies;  seldom  safe  to  venture  to  instruct 
even  our  friends. 

Let  us  not  talk  ill  of  our  enemies.  They 
only  never  deceive  us. 

Ye  have  heard  that  it  hath  been  said, 
Thou  shalt  love  thy  neighbor  and  hate  thine 
enemy.  But  I  say  unto  you,  Love  your 
enemies,  bless  them  that  curse  you,  do 
good  to  them  that  hate  you,  and  pray  for 
them  which  despitefully  use  you,  and  per- 
secute you;  that  you  may  be  the  children 
of  your  Father  which  is  in  heaven:  for  He 
maketh  His  sun  to  rise  on  the  evil  and  on 
the  good,  and  sendeth  rain  on  the  just  and 
on  the  unjust.  For  if  ye  love  them  which 
love  you,  what  reward  have  ye?  Do  not 
even  the  publicans  the  same?  And  if  ye 
salute  your  brethren  only,  what  do  ye  more 
than  others?  Do  not  even  the  publicans 
so? 

If  thine  enemy  hunger,  feed  him;  if  he 
thirst,  give  him  drink:  for  in  so  doing  thou 
shalt  heap  coals  of  fire  on  his  head. 


ios 


Italian 
Proverb 


James  S. 
Knowles 


Caleb  C. 
Colton 


Arsene 
Houssaye 


Book  of 
Matthew 
Chap- 
ter V 


Romans 
II 


io6 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Alain 

Rene 

Lesago 


John 
Gay 

Proverbs 


Alain 
Chartier 


Lord 

Avebury 


Edward 
Young 

Johann 
Schiller 


Hindoo 
Proverb 


George 
Channing 
"New 
Moral- 
ity" 


Cato 


A  man  who  does  not  love  sincerely  sets 
his  face  against  the  distinguishing  mark 
between  a  friend  and  a  flatterer. 

An  open  foe  may  prove  a  curse, 
But  a  pretended  friend  is  worse. 

Faithful  are  the  wounds  of  a  friend,  but 
the  kisses  of  an  enemy  are  deceitful. 

Love   springs  to   love,   and   knows   at   once   his 

friends. 
The  man  who  hates  must  cast  contentment  forth; 
Who  has  not  worth  or  friends  is  nothing  worth. 

Unfortunately,  while  there  are  few  great 
friends,  there  is  no  little  enemy. 

A  foe  to  God  was  ne'er  true  friend  to  man, 
Some  sinister  intent  taints  all  he  does. 

Dear  is  my  friend, — yet  from  my  foe  as  from  my 

friend,  comes  good; 
My  friend  shows  what  I  can  do,  and  my  foe  what 

I  should. 

The  greatest  enmity  is  better  than  un- 
certain friendship. 

Give  me  the  avowed,  the  erect,  the  manly  foe; 
Bold  I  can  meet,  perhaps  may  turn  his  blow; 
But  of  all  plagues,  good  Heaven,  thy  wrath  can 

send, 
Save,  save,  oh!  save  me  from  the  Candid  Friend! 

It  is  better  to  have  bitter  foes  than 
friends  too  sweet. 


VIII 
FRIENDS  AND  ENEMIES 


FRIENDS  AND  ENEMIES 


109 


It  is  a  difficult  task  to  have  all  men  for 
your  friends:  it  is  sufficient  not  to  have 
enemies. 

A  bitter  heart  that  bides  its  time  and 
bites. 

The  world  is  large  when  its  weary  leagues  two 

loving  hearts  divide; 
But  the  world  is  small  when  your  enemy  is  loose 

on  the  other  side. 

Fellowship  is  heaven,  and  lack  of  fellow- 
ship is  hell;  fellowship  is  life,  and  lack  of 
fellowship  is  death;  and  the  deeds  that  ye 
do  upon  earth,  it  is  for  fellowship's  sake 
that  ye  do  them. 

He  will  never  have  true  friends  who  is 
afraid  of  making  enemies. 

Better  friends  at  a  distance  than  neigh- 
bors and  enemies. 

One  enemy  can  do  more  hurt  than  ten 
friends  can  do  good. 

Trust  not  yourself;  but  your  defects  to  know, 
Make  use  of  every  friend — and  every  foe. 

Friends  are  as  dangerous  as  enemies. 

Better  to  have  a  loving  friend 
Than  ten  admiring  foes. 

Invite  the  man  that  loves  thee  to  a  feast, 
but  let  alone  thine  enemy. 


Seneca 


Robert 
Browning 

John 

Boyle 

O'Reilly 


William 
Morris 


William 
Hazlitt 

Italian 
Proverb 

Jonathan 
Swift 

Alexan- 
der Pope 

De 

Quincy 

George 

Macdon- 

ald 

Hesiod 


no 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


George 
Chap- 
man 

Davidson 


Lord 
Avebury 


Nicholas 
Breton 

Cicero 


Edmund 
Burke 


La  Fon- 
taine 

Shakes- 
peare 

Lord 
Byron 


Theoph- 
rastus 


Flatterers  look  like  friends,  as  wolves 
like  dogs. 

No  enemy 
Is  half  so  fatal  as  a  friend  estranged. 

It  has  been  said  that  it  is  wise  always  to 
treat  a  friend  remembering  that  he  may 
become  an  enemy,  and  an  enemy  remem- 
bering that  he  may  become  a  friend;  and 
whate'er  may  be  thought  of  the  first  part 
of  the  adage,  there  is  certainly  much  wis- 
dom in  the  latter. 

I  wish  my  deadly  foe  no  worse 

Than  want  of  friends,  and  empty  purse. 

Our  enmities  mortal,  our  friendships 
eternal. 

Angry  friendship  is  sometimes  as  bad  as 
calm  enmity. 

An  ignorant  friend  is  dangerous  e'er; 
A  foe  who  is  wise  I  greatly  prefer. 

An  thou  wilt  be  friends,  be  friends:  an 
thou  wilt  not,  why,  then  be  enemies. 

Here 's  a  sigh  to  those  who  love  me, 
And  a  smile  to  those  who  hate; 

And,  whatever  sky's  above  me, 
Here  's  a  heart  for  every  fate. 

A  friend  cannot  be  known  in  prosperity, 
and  an  enemy  cannot  be  hidden  in  adver- 
sity. 


FRIENDS  AND  ENEMIES 


in 


Better  new  friend  than  old  foe. 

Foes  sometimes  befriend  us  more,  our  blacker 
deeds  objecting, 

Than  th'  obsequious  bosom  guest,  with  false  re- 
spect affecting, 

Friendship  is  the  Glass  of  Truth,  our  hidden  stains 
detecting. 

The  greatest  enemy  to  man  is  man. 

Greatly  his  foes  he  dreads,  but  more  his  friends; 
He  hurts  me  most  who  lavishly  commends. 

Spare  to  us  our  friends,  soften  to  us  our 
enemies. 

Some  great  misfortune  to  portend, 
No  enemy  can  match  a  friend. 

From  our  enemies  we  expect  evil  treat- 
ment, but  when  our  friends  abandon  us 
the  firmest  minds  find  it  hard  to  resist. 

The  man  who  hates  must  cast  content- 
ment forth. 

Mutual  love  brings  mutual  delight, — 

Brings  beauty,  life,— for  love  is  life,  hate  death. 

If  thou  neglectest  thy  love  to  thy  neigh- 
bor, in  vain  thou  professest  thy  love  to 
God. 

Many  people  seem  to  take  more  pains 
and  more  pleasure  in  making  enemies  than 
in  making  friends. 


Spenser 

Thomas 
Campion 


Burton 

Charles 
Churchill 

Steven- 
son 


Jonathan 
Swift 


Boling- 
brook's 
Letters 


Alain 
Chartier 


Richard 
Dana 

Francis 
Quarles 


Lord 
Avebury 


112 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


John 
Holden 


Benjamin 
Disraeli 


Burns 

Publilius 
Syrus 

AH  Ben 

Abu 

Taheb 


Shakes- 
peare 

Byron 

Jeremy 
Taylor 


James 
Russell 
Lowell 


Shake- 
speare 

Benjamin 
Franklin 


Except  in  cases  of  necessity,  which  are 
rare,  leave  your  friend  to  learn  unpleasant 
truths  from  his  enemies;  they  are  ready 
enough  to  tell  them. 

Disloyalty,  that  hatefullest  of  sins, 
Still  teaches  us  where  loyalty  begins. 

Though  lions  to  their  enemies  they  were 
lambs  to  their  friends. 

The  friend  of  man,  to  vice  a  foe. 

His  must  be  a  very  wretched  fortune 
who  has  no  enemy. 

He  who  has  a  thousand  friends, 

Has  not  a  friend  to  spare, 
And  he  who  has  one  enemy 

Will  meet  him  everywhere. 

Friendly  counsel  cuts  off  many  foes. 

I  force  no  friend,  I  fear  no  foe. 

Choose  for  your  friend  him  that  is  wise 
and  good. 

Happy  long  life  with  honor  at  the  close, 
Friends'   painless  tears,  the  softened  thought  of 
foes. 

Friendless,  hopeless. 

Do  good  to  thy  friend  to  keep  him,  to 
thy  enemy  to  gain  him. 


IX 
MEN  AND  WOMEN  FRIENDS 


MEN  AND  WOMEN  FRIENDS 


"5 


It  is  a  wonderful  advantage  to  a  man,  in 
every  pursuit  or  avocation,  to  secure  an  ad- 
viser in  a  sensible  woman.  In  woman 
there  is  at  once  a  subtle  delicacy  of  tact, 
and  a  plain  soundness  of  judgment,  which 
are  rarely  combined  to  an  equal  degree  in 
man.  A  woman,  if  she  be  really  your 
friend,  will  have  a  sensitive  regard  for  your 
character,  honor,  repute.  She  will  seldom 
counsel  you  to  do  a  shabby  thing;  for  a 
woman  friend  desires  to  be  proud  of  you. 
At  the  same  time  her  constitutional  timid- 
ity makes  her  more  cautious  than  your  male 
friend.  She,  therefore,  seldom  counsels 
you  to  do  an  imprudent  thing.  A  man's 
best  female  friend  is  a  wife  of  good  sense 
and  good  heart,  whom  he  loves,  and  who 
loves  him.  If  he  have  that,  he  need  not 
seek  elsewhere.  But  supposing  the  man 
be  without  such  a  helpmate,  female  friend- 
ship he  must  have,  or  his  intellect  will  be 
without  a  garden,  and  there  will  be  many 
an  unheeded  gap  even  in  its  strongest 
fence. 


Edward 

Bulwer 

Lytton 


Men  have  known 
No  fairer  friendship  than  the  fair  have  shown. 

A  man  should  not  repudiate  the  friend- 
ship of  a  woman,  because  it  may  lead  to 
harm:  he  should  cherish  the  friendship 
and  beware  of  the  harm. 


William 
Cowper 

William 
Alger 


u6 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Sydney 
Smith 


Roche- 
pedre 


Louis 

Mezieres 


Mercier 


Margaret 
Deland 


Thoreau 


Author 
Unknown 

Coleridge 


William 
Alger 

Emanuel 

von 

Geibel 

Samuel 
Johnson 


It  is  great  happiness  to  form  a  sincere 
friendship  with  a  woman. 

The  friendship  of  a  man  is  often  a  sup- 
port; that  of  a  woman  is  always  a  consola- 
tion. 

A  woman's  love  is  often  a  misfortune; 
her  friendship  is  always  a  boon. 

Women  sometimes  deceive  the  lover, 
never  the  friend. 

Curious  that  this  topic  of  friendship  is 
so  especially  alluring  to  a  man  and  woman 
between  whom  friendship  is  impossible. 

Friendship  is  no  respecter  of  sex,  and 
perhaps  it  is  more  rare  between  the  sexes 
than  between  two  of  the  same  sex. 

Friendship  that  begins  between  a  man 
and  a  woman  will  soon  change  its  name. 

A  woman's  friendship  borders  more 
closely  on  love  than  a  man's. 

Women  need  friendship  more  than  men, 
because  they  are  less  self-sufficing. 

Love  will  obtain  and  possess;  friendship 
makes  sacrifices,  but  asks  nothing. 

Admiration  and  love  are  like  being  intox- 
icated with  champagne;  judgment  and 
friendship  like  being  enlivened. 


MEN  AND  WOMEN  FRIENDS 


117 


The  sympathetic  friendship  of  a  beauti- 
ful woman  appeased  instead  of  inflaming 
him. 

A  woman's  friendship  is,  as  a  rule,  the 
legacy  of  love  or  the  alms  of  indifference. 

Female  friendship,  indeed,  is  to  a  man 
the  bulwark,  sweetener,  ornament,  of  his 
existence.  To  his  mental  culture  it  is  in- 
valuable: without  it  all  his  knowledge  of 
books  will  never  give  him  knowledge  of 
the  world. 

The  only  true  and  firm  friendship  is  that 
between  man  and  woman,  because  it  is  the 
only  one  free  from  all  possible  competition. 

What  distinguishes  this  platonic  affec- 
tion from  ordinary  friendship,  is,  that  the 
magic  of  imagination,  with  a  religious  em- 
phasis is  in  it. 

One  should  choose  for  a  wife  only  such 
a  woman  as  he  would  choose  for  a  friend, 
were  she  a  man. 

I  have  always  laid  it  down  as  a  maxim, 
and  found  it  justified  by  experience,  that  a 
man  and  a  woman  make  far  better  friend- 
ships than  can  exist  between  two  of  the 
same  sex ;  but  with  this  condition,  that  they 
never  have  made,  or  are  to  make,  love  with 
each  other. 


Sainte 
Beuve 


Author 
Unknown 


Michael 
de  Mon- 
taigne 


Augusta 
Comte 


William 
Alger 


Joseph 
Joubert 


Lord 
Byron 


X 

FRIENDSHIPS  OF  WOMEN 


FRIENDSHIPS  OF  WOMEN 


121 


The  reason  why  so  few  women  are 
touched  by  friendship  is  that  they  find  it 
dull  when  they  have  experienced  love. 

It  is  a  common  observation  that  differ- 
ences of  taste,  understanding,  and  disposi- 
tion are  no  impediments  to  friendship,  and 
that  the  closest  intimacies  often  exist  be- 
tween minds  each  of  which  supplies  what 
is  wanting  in  the  other.  Lady  Churchill 
was  loved  and  even  worshipped  by  Anne. 
The  princess  could  not  live  apart  from  the 
object  of  her  romantic  fondness.  She  mar- 
ried, and  was  a  faithful  and  even  an  affec- 
tionate wife;  but  Prince  George,  a  dull 
man,  whose  chief  pleasures  were  derived 
from  his  dinner  and  his  bottle,  acquired 
over  her  no  influence  comparable  to  that 
exercised  by  her  female  friend,  and  soon 
gave  himself  up  with  stupid  patience  to  the 
dominion  of  that  vehement  and  command- 
ing spirit  by  which  his  wife  was  governed. 

A  woman  friend!     He  that  believes  that  weakness 
Steers  in  a  stormy  night  without  a  compass. 

The  men  are  the  occasion  the  women  do 
not  love  each  other. 

To  speak  the  truth,  I  never  yet  knew  a 
tolerable  woman  to  be  fond  of  her  sex. 

There  is  no  friendship  equal  to  that  of  a 
woman. 


Francois 
de  la 
Roche- 
foucauld 

Thomas 
Babing- 
ton  Mac- 
auley  in 
'History 
of  Eng- 
land" 


Fletcher 


Jean 
de  la 
Bruyere 

Jonathan 
Swift 


Alger 


122 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


William 
Alger  in 
"Friend- 
ship of 
Women" 


Author 
Unknown 

Shake- 
speare in 
"A  Mid- 
summer 
Night's 
Dream" 


Blanche 
Howard 


Tennyson 


Charles 
Deems 


Samuel 
Johnson 


In  searching  for  the  friendships  of 
women,  it  is  difficult  at  first  to  find  strik- 
ing examples.  Their  lives  are  so  private, 
their  dispositions  are  so  modest,  their  ex- 
periences have  been  so  little  noticed  by 
history,  that  the  annals  of  the  feminine 
heart  are  for.  the  most  part  a  secret  chapter. 

With  women,  friendship  ends  when 
rivalry  begins. 

Is  all  the  counsel  that  we  two  have  shared, 

The  sister's  vows,  the  hours  that  we  have  spent, 

When  we  have  chid  the  hasty-footed  time 

For  parting  us,  O!  is  all  forgot? 

All  school  days'  friendship,  childhood  innocence? 

And  will  you  rend  our  ancient  love  asunder, 

To  join  with  men  in  scorning  your  poor  friend? 

If  you  have  derived  your  ideas  on  the 
subject  from  books  only,  it  is  possible  that 
you  have  not  the  faintest  conception  what 
a  good,  honest,  and  substantial  thing  a 
young  woman's  friendship  really  is. 

Two  women  faster  welded  in  one  love 
Than  pairs  of  wedlock. 

When  a  man  loves  a  woman  it  is  of 
nature;  when  a  woman  loves  a  woman,  it 
is  of  grace, — the  grace  that  woman  makes 
by  her  loveliness. 

The  enduring  elegance  of  female  friend- 
ship. 


FRIENDSHIPS  OF  WOMEN 


123 


Both  women  returned  to  those  treacher- 
ously temporizing  courses  which  are  so  at- 
tractive to  most  of  them — an  excellent  sys- 
tem between  men  and  women,  but  fatally 
unsafe  between  women  alone. 

With  women  these  relations  may  be  sen- 
timental, foolish,  and  fickle;  but  they  are 
honest,  free  from  secondary  motives  of  in- 
terest, and  infinitely  more  respectable  than 
the  time-serving,  place-hunting,  dinner- 
seeking  devotion  which  Messrs.  Tape  and 
Tadpole   choose   to   denominate  friendship. 

No  friendship  is  so  cordial  or  so  delicious 
as  that  of  girl  for  girl. 

On  all  her  days  let  health  and  peace  attend, 
May  she  ne'er  want,  nor  ever  lose,  a  friend. 

It  is  the  fashion  to  deride  female  friend- 
ship, to  look  with  scorn  on  those  who  pro- 
fess it.  There  is  always  to  me  a  doubt  of 
the  warmth,  the  strength,  the  purity  of  her 
feelings,  when  a  girl  merges  into  woman- 
hood looking  down  on  female  friendship  as 
romance  and  folly. 

Oh,  the  pious  friendship  of  the  female 
sex!  More  tender,  more  enduring  than  all 
the  vain  and  empty  vows  of  men,  whether 
professing  love  to  us  or  mutual  faith  to  an- 
other. 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


Dinah 

Muloch 


Landor 


George 
Lyttleton 

Grace 
Aguilar 


William 
Congreve 


124 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Dinah 
Muloch 


Alphonse 
Karr 


Ruth  to 
Naomi  in 
the  Book 

of  Ruth 


Jean 

Duclos 


William 
Alger 


Author 
Unknown 


Lord 
Lyttleton 

Jean 

de  la 

Bruyere 


The  friendships  of  women  are  much 
more  common  than  those  of  men;  but 
rarely  or  never,  so  firm,  so  just,  or  so  en- 
during. 

Friendship  between  two  women  is  al- 
ways a  plot  against  each  other. 

Intreat  me  not  to  leave  thee,  nor  to  re- 
turn from  following  after  thee:  for  whither 
thou  goest  I  will  go ;  and  where  thou  lodg- 
est,  I  will  lodge;  thy  people  shall  be  my 
people,  and  thy  God  my  God.  Where  thou 
diest,  I  will  die  and  there  will  I  be  buried; 
the  Lord  do  so  to  me  and  more  also,  if 
aught  but  death  part  thee  and  me. 

Women  have  no  worse  enemies  than 
women. 

Women  are  armed  with  microscopes  to 
see  all  the  little  defects  and  dissimilarities 
which  can  irritate  and  injure  their  friend- 
ships. 


Friendships     of     women     are 
wherein  they  stick  their  pins. 


cushions 


Women,  like  princes,  find  few  real 
friends. 

In  love  women  exceed  the  generality  of 
men,  but  in  friendship  we  have  the  ad- 
vantage. 


FRIENDSHIPS  OF  WOMEN 


Women  are  naturally  less  selfish  and 
more  sympathetic  than  men.  They  have 
more  affection  to  bestow,  greater  need  of 
sympathy,  and  therefore  are  more  sure,  in 
the  absence  of  love,  to  seek  friendship. 

She  that  asks 
Her  dear  five  hundred  friends,  contemns  them  all, 
And  hates  their  coming. 

There  is  nothing  fixed,  enduring,  vital,  in 
the  feelings  of  women;  their  attachments 
to  each  other  are  so  many  pretty  bows  of 
ribbon.  I  notice  these  light  affections  in 
all  female  friends.  Can  we  not  then  love 
each  other  differently. 

And  one  shall  give,  perchance  hath  given, 

What  only  is  not  love. 
Friendship,  oh,  such  as  saints  in  heaven 

Rain  on  us  from  above. 

We  need  the  friendship  of  a  man  in  great 
trials,  of  a  woman  in  the  affairs  of  every- 
day life. 

Dear  friend,  what  can  I  do 
To  prove  the  warm  affection  I  've  always  felt  for 
you? 

What  woman  who  possessed  a  ring  con- 
ferring invisibility  on  its  wearer,  would 
dare  to  put  it  on  and  move  about  among — 
her  friends. 


125 


William 
Alger 


William 
Cowper 


Eugenie 
de  Guerin 


Felicia 
Hemans 


Antoine 
Thomas 


Mary 
Howitt 


William 
Alger 


XI 
FRIENDS  AND  RELATIONS 


FRIENDS  AND  RELATIONS 


129 


Friendship,  in  its  full  sense,  has  prece- 
dence of  kinship  in  this  particular  that  the 
good  will  may  be  taken  away  from  kinship, 
not  from  friendship,  for  when  good  will  is 
removed,  friendship  loses  its  name,  while 
that  of  kinship  remains. 

None  such  true  friends,  none  so  sweet  life, 
As  that  between  the  man  and  wife. 

Thy  affection,  duty,  and  love  to  me  was 
that  of  a  friend  as  well  as  a  child. 

Whatever  the  degree  of  kinship,  without 
friendship  added  to  it,  it  becomes  worse 
than  foolishness.  Conceive  of  a  happy 
marriage,  a  proud  parent,  a  loving  child, 
without  a  firm  foundation  of  friendship — 
it  is  impossible! 

Better  one  true  friend  than  a  host  of 
kinsfolk. 

Happy  the  man  who  has  persuaded  a 
maiden  into  loving  wifehood;  thrice  happy 
the  husband  who  has  persuaded  his  wife 
into  a  firm  friendship! 

Friends  agree  best  at  a  distance.  By 
friends  here  is  meant  relations. 

A  child  may  be  an  affliction,  or  a  parent 
a  misfortune;  but  a  friend  is  a  man's  own 
fault. 


Cicero 
"On 
Friend- 
ship" 


Thomas 
Campion 

John 
Evelyn 

Robert  L. 
Lorimer 


Italian 
Proverb 


Frances 
F.  Graves 


Scotch 
Proverb 


Adapted 
from 
George 
Ade 


^o 


Eugenie 

de 

Guerin 

Old 
Proverb 


Lord 
Byron 
to  his 
Sister 


Author 
Unknown 


William 
Alger 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


Cicero 


William 
Wirt 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Oh,  how  sweet  a  name,  and  how  full  of 
tenderness,  is  that  of  brother. 

A  good  friend  is  better  than  a  near  rela- 
tion. 

Though  human,  thou  didst  not  deceive  me, 

Though  woman,  thou  didst  not  forsake; 
Though  loved,  thou  forborest  to  grieve  me, 

Though  slandered,  thou  never  couldst  shake, 
Though  trusted,  thou  didst  not  disclaim  me, 

Though  parted,  it  was  not  to  fly, 
Though  watchful,  't  was  not  to  defame  me, 

Nor  mute,  that  the  world  might  belie. 

It  is  chance  that  makes  brothers,  but 
hearts  that  make  friends. 

Innumerable  aunts  and  nephews,  nieces 
and  uncles,  cousins  and  other  branches  of 
kindred,  have  found  in  their  close  relation- 
ship, with  the  consequent  meetings,  a  for- 
tunate occasion  for  forming  close  and 
blessed  friendships. 

Between  persons  perpetually  in  one  an- 
other's company  dislike  or  affection  in- 
creases daily. 

Friendship  excels  relationship. 

To  me  she  was  not  only  the  companion 
of  my  studies,  but  the  sweetener  of  my 
toils. 


FRIENDS  AND  RELATIONS 


131 


I  have  ever  sought  a  friendship  so  strong 
and  earnest  that  only  death  could  break  it; 
a  happiness  which  I  had  in  my  brother. 

I  hope  I  do  not  break  the  fifth  com- 
mandment, if  I  conceive  I  may  love  my 
friend  before  the  nearest  of  my  blood. 

My  sister,  my  sweet  sister!  if  a  name 
Dearer  and  purer  were,  it  should  be  thine. 

A  friend  loveth  at  all  times,  and  a  brother 
is  born  for  adversity. 

There  is  in  friendship  something  of  all 
relations,  and  something  above  them  all. 
It  is  the  golden  thread  that  ties  the  hearts 
of  all  the  world. 

Thou  to  me  didst  ever  show 
Kindest  affection;  and  would  oft-times  lend 
An  ear  to  the  desponding  love-sick  lay, 
Weeping  my  sorrows  with  me,  who  repay 
But  ill  the  mighty  debt  of  love  I  owe, 
Mary,  to  thee,  my  sister  and  my  friend. 

A  man  can  speak  to  his  son  but  as  a 
father,  to  his  wife  but  as  a  husband;  to  his 
enemy  but  upon  terms;  whereas  a  friend 
may  speak  as  the  case  requires,  and  not  as 
it  sorteth  with  the  person. 

Better  be  a  neighbor  that  is  near  than  a 
brother  far  off. 


Eugenie 
de  Guerin 


Sir 

Thomas 

Browne 


Lord 
Byron 

Proverbs 


John 
Evelyn 


Charles 
Lamb 
to  his 
Sister 


Francis 
Bacon  on 
"Friend- 
ship" 


Proverbs 


XII 
FRIENDSHIPS  THAT  FAIL 


FRIENDSHIPS  THAT  FAIL 

i3S 

It   is    a    difficult    thing    to    replace    true 
friends. 

Seneca 

All  are  not  friends  that  speak  us  fair. 

Proverb 

For  indeed,  if  you  are  rich  you  will  have 
many  friends,  but  if  you  become  poor  you 
will  have  few,  and  will  no  longer  be  the 
same  excellent  man  that  you  were. 

Theognis 

Friends  are  lost  by  calling  often  and  call- 
ing seldom. 

Proverb 

Freeze,  freeze,  thou  bitter  sky, 
That  dost  not  bite  so  nigh 

As  benefits  forgot: 
Though  thou  the  waters  warp, 
Thy  sting  is  not  so  sharp 

As  friend  remembered  not. 

Shake- 
speare in 
"As  You 
Like  It," 
Act  ii, 
Sc.7 

There  is  a  friend,  which  is  only  a  friend 
in  name. 

Ecclesias- 
ticus 

It  is  a  mere   and  miserable  solitude  to 
want  true  friends,  without  which  the  world 
is  but  a  wilderness. 

Francis 
Bacon 

Friendship  is  a  vase  which,  when  it  is 
flawed  by  heat  of  violence  or  accident,  may 
as  well  be  broken  at  once;  it  can  never  be 
trusted  again. 

Walter 
Savage 
Landor 

The  wretched  have  no  friends. 

Dryden 

Near  friends,   falling  out,   never  reunite 
cordially. 

Thomas 
Jefferson 

136 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Cicero  in 

"Ad  Her- 

ennium" 


Eva  Tre- 
zevant 


Thomas 
Moore 


Spanish 
Proverb 


Lord 
Byron 


Italian 
Proverb 


Sir  John 
Vanbrugh 


George 
Prentice 


The  swallows  art  at  hand  in  the  summer 
time,  but  in  cold  weather  they  are  driven 
away.  So  false  friends  are  at  hand  in  life's 
clear  weather;  but  as  soon  as  they  see  the 
winter  of  fortune,  they  all  fly  away. 

A  little  love  has  destroyed  many  a  great 
friendship. 

Alas!  how  light  a  cause  may  move 

Dissension  between  two  hearts  that  love! 

Hearts  that  the  world  in  vain  had  tried, 

And  sorrow  but  more  closely  tied; 

That  stood  the  storm  when  waves  were  rough, 

Yet  in  a  sunny  hour  fell  off, 

Like  ships  that  have  gone  down  at  sea, 

When  heaven  was  all  tranquility. 

Broken  friendship  may  be  soldered,  but 
never  made  sound. 

And  such  the  change  the  heart  displays, 

So  frail  is  early  friendship's  reign, 
A  month's  brief  lapse,  perhaps  a  day's 
Will  view  thy  mind  estranged  again. 

Who  finds  himself  without  friends  is  like 
a  body  without  a  soul. 

Friendship,  take  heed;  if  woman  interfere, 
Be  sure  the  hour  of  thy  destruction  's  near, 

A  friend  that  you  have  to  buy  won't  be 
worth  what  you  have  to  pay  for  him,  no 
matter  what  that  may  be. 


FRIENDSHIPS  THAT  FAIL 


137 


For  I  am  alone,  of  all  my  friends,  my  own 
friend. 

Faithful  friends  are  hard  to  find: 
Every  man  will  be  thy  friend, 
While  thou  hast  wherewith  to  spend. 

Friendship  based  solely  upon  gratitude  is 
like  a  photograph;  with  time  it  fades. 

Woe  to  him  that  is  alone,  is  verified  upon 
none  so  much  as  upon  the  friendless  person. 

When  a  man  marries,  dies,  or  turns  Hindoo, 
His  best  friends  hear  no  more  of  him. 

As  to  the  complaints  about  broken  friend- 
ship: Friendship  is  often  outgrown;  and 
his  former  child's  clothes  will  no  more  fit 
a  man  than  some  of  his  former  friendships. 

Alas!  they  had  been  friends  in  youth: 
But  whispering  tongues  can  poison  truth, 
And  constancy  lives  in  realms  above; 
And  life  is  thorny,  and  youth  is  vain, 
And  to  be  wroth  with  one  we  love 
Doth  work  like  madness  in  the  brain. 

It 's  poor  friendship  that  needs  to  be  con- 
stantly bought. 

What  specter  can  the  charnel  send 
So  dreadful  as  an  injured  friend? 

He  who  ceases  to  be  a  friend  has  never 
been  one. 


Apollo- 
dorus 


Shake- 
speare 


Carmen 
Sylva 

South's 
Sermons 

Shelley 


Sir 

Arthur 

Helps 


Samuel 
Coleridge 


Proverb 


Walter 
Scott 

H.C. 

Chatfield- 
Taylor 


US 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Francis 
Bacon 


Thomas 
Moore 


La 

Roche- 
foucauld 


Thoreau 


Seneca 


Charlotte 
Smith 


Ovid 


John 

Webster 


Scottish 
Proverb 


Cosmus,  Duke  of  Florence,  was  wont  to 
say  of  perfidious  friends,  that  "We  read 
that  we  ought,  to  forgive  our  enemies;  but 
we  do  not  read  that  we  ought  to  forgive  our 
friends." 

The  friends  who  in  our  sunshine  live, 
When  winter  comes  are  flown; 

And  he  who  has  but  tears  to  give 
Must  weep  those  tears  alone. 

Friendships  that  have  been  renewed  re- 
quire more  care  than  those  that  have  never 
been  broken  off. 

The  only  danger  in  friendship  is  that  it 
will  end. 

The  comfort  of  having  a  friend  may  be 
taken  away,  but  not  that  of  having  had  one. 

No  more  thy  friendship  soothes  to  rest 
This  weary  spirit,  tempest  tossed: 

The  cares  that  weigh  upon  my  breast 
Are  doubly  felt  since  thou  art  lost. 

There  is  no  friend  at  hand  to  console  me, 
none  who  with  conversation  will  beguile  the 
slowly  passing  time. 

From  decayed  fortunes  every  flatterer  shrinks; 
Men  cease  to  build  where  the  foundation  sinks. 

Nae  man  can  be  happy  without  a  friend, 
nor  be  sure  of  him  till  he  's  unhappy. 


FRIENDSHIPS  THAT  FAIL 


*39 


My  designs  and  labors  and  aspirations  are 
my  only  friends. 

Virtue,  how  frail  it  is! 
Friendship,  how  rare! 

It  is  exceedingly  noteworthy  that  in  the 
rule  laid  down  here  by  our  Lord,  the  re- 
sponsibility of  reconciliation  is  laid  pri- 
marily, not  upon  the  man  who  has  done 
wrong,  but  upon  the  man  who  has  received 
the  wrong. 

Faint  friends  when  they  fall  out  most  cruel 
foemen  be. 

With  a  little  more  patience  and  a  little 
less  temper,  a  gentler  and  wiser  method 
might  be  found  in  almost  every  case;  and 
the  knot  that  we  cut  by  some  fine  heady 
quarrel-scene  in  private  life,  or,  in  public 
affairs,  by  some  denunciatory  act  against 
what  we  are  pleased  to  call  our  neighbor's 
vices,  might  yet  have  been  unwoven  by  the 
hand  of  sympathy. 

And  hearts,  so  lately  mingled,  seem 
Like  broken  clouds — or  like  the  stream 
That  smiling  left  the  mountain's  brow, 
As  though  its  waters  ne'er  could  sever, 
Yet,  ere  it  reach  the  plain  below 
Breaks  into  floods,  that  part  for  ever. 

Affection  once  extinguished  can  lead  to 
nothing  but  indifference  or  contempt. 


Long- 
fellow 


Shelley 


Canon 
MacColl 
in  "Life 
Here  and 
Here- 
after" 


Spenser 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son 


Thomas 
Moore 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


140 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


Gold- 
smith 


Walter 
Savage 
Landor 
in  "Im- 
aginary 
Conver- 
sations" 


Nahum 
Tate 


Alfred 
Tennyson 


Edward 
Bulwer 
Lytton 


Olive 

Schreiner 


The  dissolutions  of  personal  friendship 
are  among  the  most  painful  occurrences  in 
human  life. 

He  cast  off  his  friends  as  a  huntsman  his  pack 
For  he  knew,  when  he  pleased  he  could  whistle 
them  back. 

Never  let  us  think  that  the  time  can  come 
when  we  shall  lose  our  friends.  Glory,  liter- 
ature, philosophy,  have  this  advantage  over 
friendship:  remove  one  object  from  them 
and  others  fill  the  void;  remove  one  from 
friendship,  one  only,  and  not  the  earth,  nor 
the  universality  of  worlds,  no,  nor  the  in- 
tellect that  soars  above  and  comprehends 
them,  can  replace  it. 

Friendship's  the  privilege 
Of  private  men;  for  wretched  greatness  knows 
No  blessing  so  substantial. 

He  that  wrongs  his  friend 
Wrongs  himself  more,  and  ever  bears  about 
A  silent  court  of  justice  in  his  breast. 

There  is  no  folly  equal  to  that  of  throwing 
away  friendship  in  a  world  where  friendship 
is  so  rare. 

Friendship  is  good,  a  strong  stick;  but 
when  the  hour  comes  to  lean  hard  it  gives. 
In  the  day  of  our  bitterest  need  all  souls  are 
alone. 


XIII 
IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


M3 


I  awoke  this  morning  with  a  devout 
thanksgiving  for  my  friends,  the  old  and  the 
new. 

Friendship  is  the  great  chain  of  human 
society. 

The  scampering  squirrel,  when  the  Autumn's  gift 
Of  opening  chestnuts  and  sweet  mast  descends, 
Bestows  them  in  the  keep  the  poplar  lends 

Against  the  wind  that  sets  the  snows  adrift; 

And  the  lithe  branches  to  the  sunlight  lift 
Their  length  unburdened  now,  each  bough  un- 
bends 
And  raises  hands  on  high,  till  Heaven  sends 

Their  prayer  its  answer  in  the  season's  shift. 

Even  so  my  heart  stores  safe  the  tender  smile, 
The  kindly  word,  the  gentle  deed,  of  those 
Who   are  my  friends   against  Time's   drifting 
snows; 
And  still  the  tendrils  of  that  heart  reach 
forth 
And  point  me  to  the  dear  ones  lost  awhile 

Within  the  Spring  beyond  the  frozen  North. 

Many  kinds  of  fruit  grow  upon  the  tree 
of  life,  but  none  so  sweet  as  friendship. 

You  may  not  know  my  supreme  happiness 
at  having  one  on  earth  whom  I  can  call 
friend. 

The  love  of  friendship  is  the  most  perfect 
form  of  love. 


Emerson 


James 
Howell 


Wallace 
Rice  on 
"The 
Heart's 
Treas- 
ure" 


Lucy 
Larcom 


Charles 
Lamb 


Cardinal 
Manning 


144 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Seneca 


Eliza 
Cook 


Count 

von 

Platen 


Walt 
Whit- 
man in 
"Leaves 
of  Grass" 


Cicero 


Martin 
Tupper 

Joseph 
Addison 


Of  all  felicities  the  most  charming  is  that 
of  a  firm  and  gentle  friendship. 

Ardent  in  its  earliest  tie, 
Faithful  in  its  latest  sigh, 
Love  and  Friendship,  godlike  pair, 
Find  their  throne  of  glory  there. 

Love  is  deemed  the  tenderest  of  our  affec- 
tions, as  even  the  blind  and  deaf  know;  but 
I  know,  what  few  believe,  that  true  friend- 
ship is  more  tender  still. 

I  hear  it  was  charged  against  me  that  I  sought  to 
destroy  institutions, 

But  really  I  am  neither  for  nor  against  institutions, 

(What  indeed  have  I  in  common  with  them?  or 
what  with  the  destruction  of  them?) 

Only  I  will  establish  in  Mannahatta  and  in  every 
city  of  these  States,  inland  and  seaboard, 

And  in  the  fields  and  woods,  and  above  every 
keel  little  or  large  that  dents  the  water, 

Without  edifices  or  rules  or  trustees  or  any  argu- 
ment, 

The  institution  of  the  dear  love  of  comrades. 

Because  nature  cannot  be  changed,  true 
friendships  are  eternal. 

God  will  not  love  thee  less  because  men  love 
thee  more. 

There  is  indeed  no  blessing  of  life  that  is 
in  any  way  comparable  to  the  enjoyment 
of  a  discreet  and  virtuous  friend. 


IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


i45 


How  delightful  to  see  a  friend  after  a 
length  of  absence !  How  delightful  to  chide 
him  for  the  length  of  absence  to  which  we 
owe  our  delight. 

Friendship  is  a  crystal  lake,  sheltered 
from  ruffling  winds,  wherein  he  who  looks 
may  see  his  better  nature. 

A  happy  bit  hame  this  auld  world  would  be, 

If  men,  when  they're  here,  could  make  shift  to 

agree, 
An'  ilk  said  to  his  neighbor,  in  cottage  an'  ha', 
"Come  gi'e  me  your  hand,  we  are  brethren  a'." 

Philosophers  smile  contemptuously  at  the 
fondness  of  people  for  a  crowd,  and  for  their 
slavish  reciprocal  dependence  upon  each 
other  to  amuse  and  entertain  them,  as  well 
as  to  guide  them  in  their  thoughts,  opinions, 
or  actions.  Yet  the  basis  of  this  tendency  is 
in  the  love  of  our  fellow-men;  and  it  is  the 
corner  stone  of  the  human  side  of  Chris- 
tianity. 

And  though  a  coat  may  a  button  lack, 

And  though  a  face  be  sooty  and  black, 

And  though  the  words  be  heavy  of  flow, 

And    the    new-called    thoughts    come   tardy    and 

slow, 
And  though  rough  words  in  a  speech  may  blend, 
A  heart 's  a  heart,  and  a  friend  's  a  friend. 

A  friend  may  well  be  reckoned  the  mas- 
terpiece of  Nature. 


Walter 
Savage 
Landor 


Christo- 
pher Ban- 
nister 


Robert 
Nicoll 


Paul 
Siegvolk 
in  "Ru- 
mina- 
tions" 


Will 
Carleton 
in  "Farm 
Festi- 
vals" 


Author 
Unknown 


146 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Jerome 
K.Jerome 


Robert 
Browning 


Charles 
Dickens 


John 
Holden 


Young 


JohnD. 
Rocke- 
feller 


There  are  evergreen  men  and  women  in 
the  world,  praise  be  to  God! — not  many  of 
them,  but  a  few.  The  sun  of  our  prosperity 
makes  the  green  of  their  friendship  no 
brighter,  the  frost  of  our  adversity  kills  not 
the  leaves  of  their  affection. 

Eye  lights  eye  in  good  friendship,  great  hearts 

expand 
And  grow  one  in  the  sense  of  this  world's  life. 

What  is  the  odds  so  long  as  the  fire  of 
souls  is  kindled  at  the  taper  of  conwiviality, 
and  the  wing  of  friendship  never  moults  a 
feather? 

To  make  this  earth  a  heaven,  bring  Heaven  to 

earth, 
Our  human  nature  needeth  not  new  birth; 
For  what  man  lacks  a  friend?  If  we  should  pray 
That  hatred  cease,  that  love's  serenest  ray 
Light  up  the  world,  and  comprehension  bring 
Its  perfect  sympathy  for  wandering 
And  errant  souls,  ask  we  not  that  God  sends 
That  we  and  all  mankind  shall  live  as  friends? 

Friendship  is  the  wine  of  life. 

How  many  different  kinds  of  friends  there 
are !  They  should  be  held  close  at  any  cost ; 
for,  although  some  are  better  than  others 
perhaps,  a  friend  of  whatever  kind  is  im- 
portant; and  this  one  learns  as  one  grows 
older. 


IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


M7 


Without  friendship,  society  is  but  meet- 
ing. 

Of  all  the  heavenly  gifts  that  mortal  men  com- 
mend, 

What  trusty  treasure  in  the  world  can  counter- 
vail a  friend? 

The  dear  love  of  man  for  his  comrade — the  at- 
traction of  man  for  man. 

Friendship  is  precious,  not  only  in  the 
shade,  but  in  the  sunshine  of  life;  and 
thanks  to  a  benevolent  arrangement  of 
things,  the  greater  part  of  life  is  sunshine. 

Oh!  let  us  be  happy  when  friends  gather  round  us. 

However  the  world  may  have  shadowed  our  lot; 
When   the   rose-braided   links    of   affection   have 

bound  us. 

Let  the  cold  chains  of  earth  be  despised  and 
forgot. 
And  say  not  that  friendship  is  only  ideal; 

That  truth  and  devotion  are  blessings  unknown: 
For  he  who  believes  every  heart  is  unreal, 

Has  something  unsound  at  the  core  of  his  own. 
Oh!  let  us  be  happy  when  moments  of  pleasure 

Have  brought  to  our  presence  the  dearest  and 
best; 
For  the  pulse  ever  beats  a  most  heavenly  measure 

When  love  and  good  will  sweep  the  strings  of 
the  breast. 

To  desire  the  same  thing  and  to  dislike 
the  same  thing,  that  alone  makes  firm 
friendship. 


Bacon 


Nicholas 
Grimoald 


Walt 
Whitman 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


Eliza 
Cook 


Sallust 


148 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Bertha 
Gaus 


The  sense  of  sharing  makes  the  blessed- 
ness of  friendship;  strength  and  invigora- 
tion  spring  from  the  contact  of  soul  with 
soul.  All  beautiful,  helpful,  inspirational 
attributes  of  humanity  flourish  in  the  soil 
of  friendship,  exerting  their  beneficence,  not 
only  from  friend  to  friend,  but  over  all  who 
may  be  reached  by  the  expanding  grace  of 
goodness  and  the  glad  willingness  of  love. 
True  friendship,  therefore,  carries  with  it  an 
enlargement  of  the  faculties  and  a  more  ex- 
tensive life.  It  shows  us  the  abundance  of 
the  world,  and  makes  us  feel  that  it  is  good. 


Plautus 


Robert 

Southey 

"The 

Doctor" 


All  money 's  lost  that  goes 
To  an  evil  wife,  or  foes; 
But  on  a   faithful  friend 
You  gain  whate'er  you  spend. 

It  may  safely  be  affirmed  that  generous 
minds,  when  they  have  once  known  each 
other,  never  can  be  alienated  as  long  as 
both  retain  the  characteristics  which 
brought  them  into  union.  No  distance  of 
place  or  lapse  of  time  can  lessen  the  friend- 
ship of  those  who  are  thoroughly  persuaded 
of  each  other's  worth. 


A  friendship  that  like  love  is  warm; 
A  love  like  friendship,  steady. 

It  is  like  taking  the  sun  out  of  the  world 
to  bereave  human  life  of  friendship. 


IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


149 


A  friend  once  won  need  never  be  lost,  if 
we  will  be  only  trusty  and  true  ourselves. 
Friends  may  part,  not  merely  in  body  but 
in  spirit  for  a  while.  In  the  bustle  of  busi- 
ness and  accidents  of  life,  they  may  lose 
sight  of  each  other  for  years;  and  more, 
they  may  begin  to  differ  in  their  success  in 
life,  in  their  opinions,  in  their  habits,  and 
there  may  be  for  a  time  coldness  and  es- 
trangement between  them,  but  not  for  ever 
if  each  will  be  trusty  and  true.  For  then 
they  will  be  like  two  ships  who  set  sail  at 
morning  from  the  same  port,  and  ere  night 
fall  lose  sight  of  each  other,  and  go  each 
on  its  own  course  and  at  its  own  pace  for 
many  days,  through  many  storms  and  seas, 
and  yet  meet  again,  and  find  themselves  ly- 
ing side  by  side  in  the  same  haven  when 
their  long  voyage  is  past. 


Charles 
Kingsley 


True  love  is  rare;   true  friendship,  still 
rarer. 


Jean 
de  la 
Fontaine 


But  the  best  is  the  clasped  hands   of  comrades 

when  nightfall  is  near. 
The  best  is  the  rest  and  the  friendship,  the  calm 

of  the  soul, 
When  the  stars  are  in  the  heaven  and  the  runner 

lies  down  at  the   goal. 


Richard 
Hovey 


A  friend  is  more  necessary  than  either 
fire  or  water. 


Taver- 

ner's 

Proverbs 


'5° 


Tottel 

Caxton's 

"Fables 

of 

.ffisop" 

Robert 

Pollok 

in  "The 

Course 

of  Time" 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Hugh 
Black 


Henry 
W.  Long- 
fellow 


Cicero 
"On 
Friend- 
ship" 

Percy 
Bysshe 
Shelley 


H.C. 

Chatfield- 

Taylor 


A  faithful  friend  is  a  thing  most  worth. 

A  true  friend  is  often  better  at  need  than 
a  kingdom. 

Friends  given  by  God  in  mercy  and  in  love; 
My  counsellors,  my  comforters  and  guides; 
My  joy  in  grief,  my  second  bliss  in  joy; 
Companions  of  my  young  desires,  in  doubt 
My  oracles;  my  wings  in  high  pursuits. 
Oh!  I  remember,  and  will  ne'er  forget 
Our  meeting  spots,  our  chosen  sacred  hours; 
Our  burning  words,  that  uttered  all  the  soul, 
Our  faces  beaming  with  unearthly  love; 
Sorrow  with  sorrow  sighing,  hope  with  hope 
Exulting,  heart  embracing  heart  entire. 

Comradeship  is  one  of  the  finest  facts, 
and  one  of  the  strongest  forces  in  life. 

No  one  is  so  accursed  by  fate, 
No  one  so  utterly  desolate, 
But  some  heart,  though  unknown, 
Responds  unto  his  own. 

Friendship,  somehow,  twines  through  all 
lives,  and  leaves  no  mode  of  being  without 
its  presence. 


A  friend's  bosom 
Is  the  inmost  cave  of  our  own  mind, 
Where   we   sit   from   the   wide   gaze   of 
And  from  the  all-communicating  air. 


day 


Friendship  is  rarer  than  love,  and  more 
enduring. 


IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


151 


How  above  all  other  possessions  is  the 
value  of  a  friend  in  every  department  of  life 
without  any  exception  whatsoever! 

O  friendship,  equal  poised  control, 
O  heart,  with  kindliest  motion  warm, 
O  sacred  essence,  other  form, 
O  solemn  ghost,  O  crowned  soul! 

The  moment  we  indulge  our  affections, 
the  earth  is  metamorphosed:  there  is  no 
winter,  and  no  night:  all  tragedies,  all  en- 
nuis vanish;  all  duties  even;  nothing  fills 
the  proceeding  eternity  but  the  forms  all 
radiant  of  beloved  persons. 

He  who  is  a  friend,  loves.  He  who  loves 
is  not  always  a  friend.  So  friendship  profits 
always;  but  love  sometimes  is  hurtful. 

Some  liken  their  love  to  the  beautiful  rose, 

And  some  to  the  violet;   sweet   in  the  shade; 
But  the  Flower  Queen  dies  when  the  summer  day 
goes, 
And  the  blue  eye  shuts  when  the  spring  blos- 
soms fade! 
So  we  '11  choose  for  our  emblem  a  sturdier  thing, 
We  will  go  to  the  mountain  and  worship  its 
tree; 
With  a  health  to  the  Cedar — the  Evergreen  King — 
Like  that  Evergreen  so  may  our  friendship  be. 

There  is  nothing  that  is  meritorious  but 
virtue  and  friendship,  and,  indeed,  friend- 
ship itself  is  but  a  part  of  virtue. 


John  D. 
Rocke- 
feller 


Alfred 
Tennyson 
"In  Me- 
moriam" 


Ralph 
Waldo 
Emerson 


Seneca 


Eliza 
Cook 


Alexan- 
der Pope 


i52 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


May 
Kendall 
in  "Com- 
radeship" 


For  good  or  for  evil  a  man's  moral  and 
spiritual  outlook  is  altered  by  the  outlook 
of  his  comrade.  It  is  inevitable,  and  in  all 
true  comradeship  it  makes  for  truth,  and 
generosity,  and  freedom.  It  is  an  incal- 
culable enlargement  of  human  responsibil- 
ity, because  it  constitutes  us,  in  a  measure, 
guardians  each  of  the  other's  soul.  And 
yet,  it  is  never  the  suppression  of  the  weak 
individuality  by  a  strong  one.  That  is  not 
even  true  discipleship,  but  spiritual  tyr- 
anny. What  the  play  of  two  personalities 
brings  about  is  a  fuller,  deeper  self-realiza- 
tion on  either  side.  The  experience  of  com- 
radeship, with  all  the  new  knowledge  and 
insight  that  it  brings  into  a  life,  can  have  no 
ideal  unchanged,  but  the  change  is  not  of 
the  nature  of  a  substitution,  but  of  a  con- 
tinuous growth.  It  is  not  mental  or  moral 
bondage,  but  deliverance  from  both.  And 
it  is  the  deliverance  from  bondage  to  our- 
selves. It  is  our  refuge  from  pride.  More 
than  all  else,  comradeship  teaches  us  to 
walk  humbly  with  God.  For  while  God's 
trivial  gifts  may  allow  us  to  grow  vain  and 
self-complacent,  His  great  gifts,  if  we  once 
recognize  them,  make  us  own  our  own  deep 
unworthiness,  and  bow  our  heads  in  un- 
speakable gratitude.  We  may  have  rated 
our  deserts  high,  and  taken  flattery  as  our 
just  due ;  we  may  have  competed  for  the 


IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


i53 


world's  prizes,  and  been  filled  with  gratified 
ambition  at  securing  them.  But  however 
high  we  rate  ourselves  in  the  hour  in  which 
the  soul  is  conscious  of  its  spiritual  com- 
rades, we  know  that  God's  great  infinite 
gift  of  human  love  is  something  we  have 
never  earned,  could  never  earn,  by  merit 
or  achievement,  by  toil,  or  prayer,  or  fast- 
ing. It  has  come  to  us  straight  out  of  the 
heart  of  the  eternal  Fatherhood ;  and  all  our 
pride  and  vanity  fall  away,  and  our  lives 
come  again  to  us  as  the  lives  of  little  chil- 
dren. 

Angels  from  friendship  gather  half  their  joys. 

Tell  me  not  of  sparkling  gems, 

Set  in  regal  diadems, 

You  may  boast  your  diamonds  rare, 

Rubies  bright,  and  pearls  so  fair; 

But  there  's  a  peerless  gem  on  earth, 

Of  richer  ray  and  purer  worth; 

'T  is  priceless,  but  't  is  worn  by  few 

It  is,  it  is  the  heart  that 's  true. 

Honest  men  esteem  and  value  nothing  so 
much  in  this  world  as  a  real  friend.  Such  a 
one  is  as  it  were  another  self,  to  whom  we 
impart  our  most  secret  thoughts,  who  par- 
take of  our  joy,  and  comfort  us  in  our  afflic- 
tion; add  to  this  that  his  company  is  an 
everlasting  pleasure  to  us. 


May 
Kendall 
in  "Com- 
radeship" 


Young 


Eliza 
Cook 


Pilpay 


154 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Cicero 
"On 
"Friend- 
ship" 

Eliza 
Cook 


Old 

Saying 

William 
Words- 
worth 


Alfred 
Tennyson 


Shelley 


Dante 

Gabriel 

Rossetti 


Francis 
Bacon 
"Of 
Friend- 
ship" 


If  is  it  not  perfectly  understood  what  vir- 
tue there  is  in  friendship  and  concord,  it 
may  be  learned  from  dissension  and  discord. 

Dost  thou  remember  when  we  roved  in  summer's 

glowing  prime, 
While  friendship's  sacred  bells  rang  out  a  soft 

and  merry  chime? 

A  smiling  face 
Gives  many  grace. 

Small  service  is  true  service  while  it  lasts. 

Of  humblest  friends,  bright  creature!  scorn  not 
one: 
The  daisy,  by  the  shadow  that  it  casts, 

Protects  the  lingering  dewdrop  from  the  sun. 

My  friend,  with  you  to  live  alone, 
Were  how  much  better  than  to  own 
A  crown,  a  sceptre  and  a  throne! 

I  know  you  are  my  friend,  and  all  I  dare 
Speak  to  my  soul  that  will  I  trust  with  thee. 

Let  thy  soul  strive  that  still  the  same 
Be   early   friendship's   sacred   flame. 
The  affinities  have  strongest  part 
In  youth,  and  draw  men  heart  to  heart. 

The  best  way  to  represent  to  life  the 
manifold  use  of  friendship  is  to  cast  and  see 
how  many  things  a  man  cannot  do  for  him- 
self. 


IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


[55 


Best  friend, — my  well-spring  in  the  wil- 
derness. 

When  a  beloved  hand  is  laid  in  ours, 

When,  jaded  with  the  rush  and  glare 

Of  the  interminable  hours, 

Our  eyes  can  in  another's  eyes  read  clear, 

When  our  world  deafened  ear 

Is  by  the  tones  of  a  loved  voice  caressed, 

A  bolt  is  shot  back  somewhere  in  our  breast, 

And  a  lost  pulse  of  feeling  stirs  again. 

The  eyes  sink  inward  and  the  heart  lies  plain, 

And  what  we  mean,  we  say,  and  what  we  would, 

we  know. 
A  man  becomes  aware  of  his  life's  flow, 
And  hears  its  winding  murmur  and  he  sees 
The  meadows  where  it  glides,  the  sun,  the  breeze. 

When  Christianity  preached  the  love  of 
one's  neighbor  it  raised  the  natural  instinct 
of  man's  fellowship  with  his  kind  into  a  holy 
commandment. 

Friendship's  like  music;  two  strings  tuned  alike 

Will  stir,  though  only  one  you  strike. 

It  blooms  and  blossoms  both  in  sun  and  shade, 

Doth  (like  a  bay  in  Winter)  never  fade. 

It  loveth  all  and  yet  suspecteth  none, 

Is  provident,  yet  seeketh  not  its  own; 

'T  is  rare  itself,  yet  maketh  all  things  common ; 

And  judicious,  yet  judgeth  no  man. 

The  best  that  we  find  in  our  travels  is  an 
honest  friend.  He  is  a  fortunate  voyager 
who  finds  many. 


George 
Eliot 


Matthew 
Arnold 
in  "The 
Buried 
Life" 


Max 
Nordau 


Francis 
Quarles 
in  "Job 
Militant" 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son 


iS6 


Henry 

David 

Thoreau 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Algernon 
Swin- 
burne 

Edward 
Young 


Clinton 
Scollard 


Henry 

Drum- 

mond 


Proverb 

Thomas 
Moore 


Cicero 


We  are  sometimes  made  aware  of  kind- 
ness long  passed,  and  realized  that  there 
have  been  times  when  our  friends'  thoughts 
of  us  were  of  so  pure  and  lofty  a  character 
that  they  passed  over  us  like  the  winds  of 
heaven  unnoticed ;  when  they  treated  us  not 
as  what  we  were,  but  as  what  we  aspired  to 
be. 

The  blood  of  kindred  or  affinity 

So  much  not  binds  us  as  the  friendship  pledged 

To  them  that  are  not  of  our  blood. 

A  friend  is  worth  all  the  hazards  we  can 
run. 

O  Traveler,  who  hast  wandered  far 
'Neath  southern  sun  and  northern  star, 
Say  where  the  fairest  regions  are? 
Friend,  underneath  whatever  skies, 
Love  looks  in  love  returning  eyes 
There  are  the  bowers  of  Paradise. 

Who  talks  of  common  friendship?  There 
is  no  such  thing  in  the  world.  On  earth  no 
word  is  more  sublime. 

Friendship  is  love  with  understanding. 

The  thread  of  our  life  would  be  dark,  Heaven 

knows! 
If  it  were  not  with  friendship  and  love  intertwined. 

Nothing  in  the  world  is  more  excellent 
than  friendship. 


IN  PRAISE  OF  FRIENDS 


i57 


All  the  abuses  which  are  the  object  of  re- 
form with  the  philanthropist,  the  states- 
man, the  housekeeper,  are  unconsciously 
amended  in  the  intercourse  of  friends. 

It  is  a  sweet  thing,  friendship,  a  dear  balm, 
A  happy  and  auspicious  bird  of  calm 
Which   rides    o'er    life's    ever-tumultuous    ocean; 
A  God  that  broods  o'er  chaos  in  commotion; 
A  flower  which  fresh  as  Lapland  roses  are, 
Lifts  its  bold  head  into  the  world's  frore  air, 
And  blooms  most  radiantly  when  others  die, 
Health,  hope,  and  youth,  and  brief  prosperity; 
And  with  the  light  and  odor  of  its  bloom, 
Shining  within  the  dungeon  and  the  tomb; 
Whose  coming  is  as  light  and  music  are 
'Mid  dissonance  and  gloom — a  star 
Which  moves  not  mid  the  moving  heavens  alone 
A  smile  amid  dark  frowns — a  gentle  tone 
Among  rude  voices,  a  beloved  light, 
A  solitude,  a  refuge,  a  delight. 

My  treasures  are  my  friends. 

A  flower  cannot  blossom  without  sun- 
shine and  a  man  cannot  live  without  love. 

But  sweeter  none  than  voice  of  faithful  friend; 
Sweet  always,  sweetest  heard  in  loudest  storm. 
Some  I  remember,  and  will  ne'er  forget. 

I  count  myself  in  nothing  else  so  happy 
As  in  a  soul  remembering  my  good  friends, 

A  faithful  friend  is  a  true  image  of  the 
Deity. 


Henry 
David 
Thoreau 


Percy 

Bysshe 

Shelley 


Constan- 
tius 

George  P. 
Upton 


Robert 
Pollok 


Shake- 
speare 

Napolecn 


XIV 
BENEFITS  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


BENEFITS  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


161 


My  friend !  my  friend !  to  address  thee  de- 
lights me,  there  is  such  clearness  in  the  de- 
livery. I  am  delivered  of  my  tale,  which, 
being  told  to  strangers,  still  would  linger  in 
my  life  as  if  untold,  or  doubtful  how  it  ran. 

Where  a  man  cannot  fitly  play  his  own 
part,  if  he  have  not  a  friend  he  may  quit  the 
stage. 

When  care  is  on  me,  earth  a  wilderness, 
The  evening  starless  and  unsunned  the  day, 
When  I  go  clouded  like  them,  sad  and  grey, 

My  fears  grown  mighty  and  my  hope  grown  less; 

When  every  lilting  tune  brings  new  distress, 
Unmirthful  sound  the  children  at  their  play, 
Nor  any  book  can  charm  my  thought  away 

From  the  deep  sense  of  mine  unworthiness; 

Then  think  I  on  my  friends.    Such  friends  have  I, 
Witty  and  wise,  learned,  affectionate, 

There  must  be  in  me  something  fine  and  high 
To  hold  such  treasures  at  the  hands  of  fate; 

Their  nobleness  hints  my  nobility, 
Their  love  arrays  my  soul  in  robes  of  state. 

He  preserved  in  the  day  of  poverty  and 
distress  that  consolation  of  all  this  world's 
afflictions, — a  friend. 

To  have  a  friend,  to  talk  with  him,  is  bliss; 
But  oh,  how  blest  are  friendship's  silences! 

Life  hath  no  blessing  like  a  prudent 
friend. 


Henry 
David 
Thoreau 


Francis 
Bacon 


Wallace 
Rice,  on 
"The 
Solace  of 
Friends" 


Henry 
W.  Long- 
fellow 


Christo- 
pher Ban- 
nister 

Euripides 


l62 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Grace 
King  of 
Charles 
Wagner 


Eliza 
Cook 


Francis 
Bacon 


South- 
erne 

Brewster 
Matthews 


Shake- 
speare 

Madame 
de  Stael 


Heywood 


And  a  friend  came  to  his  rescue,  and  gave 
him  his  first  intellectual  and  moral  comfort ; 
and  friendship  eased  the  years  not  only  to 
peace,  but  to  happiness. 

I  am  glad  I  learned  to  love  the  things 
That  fortune  neither  takes  nor  brings; 
I  am  glad  my  spirit  learned  to  prize 
The  smiling  face  of  sunny  skies; 
'T  was  well  I  clasped  with  doting  hand 
The  balmy  hedge-flowers  of  the  land: 
For  still  ye  live  in  friendship  sure, 
My  old  companions  fair  and  pure. 

For  friendship  maketh  indeed  a  fair  day 
in  the  affections  from  storm  and  tempest, 
but  it  maketh  daylight  in  the  understand- 
ing, out  of  the  darkness  and  confusion  of 
thoughts. 

'T  is  something  to  be  willing  to  commend; 
But  my  best  praise  is  that  I  am  your  friend. 

All  religion  is  summed  up  in  the  idea  of 
friendship  and  friendliness:  They  make  the 
parable  of  the  Good  Samaritan,  the  Sermon 
on  the  Mount,  and  the  Golden  Rule  itself. 

And   thou  shalt  prove  a  shelter  to  thy  friends, 
A  hoop  of  gold  to  bind  thy  brothers  in. 

Your  friendship  is  like  the  spring  in  the 
desert,  that  never  fails ;  and  it  is  this  which 
makes  it  impossible  not  to  love  you. 

Causes  best  friended  have  the  best  event. 


BENEFITS  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


163 


Oh,  no  doubt,  my  good  friends,  but  the 
gods  themselves  have  provided  that  I  shall 
have  much  help  from  you:  how  had  you 
been  my  friends  else?  why  have  you  that 
charitable  title  from  thousands,  did  not  you 
chiefly  belong  to  my  heart?  I  have  told 
more  of  you  to  myself  than  you  can  with 
modesty  speak  in  your  own  behalf;  and 
thus  far  I  confirm  you.  O  you  gods,  think 
I,  what  need  we  have  any  friends,  if  we 
should  ne'er  have  need  of  'em?  they  were 
the  most  needless  creatures  living,  should 
we  ne'er  have  use  for  'em,  and  would  most 
resemble  sweet  instruments  hung  up  in 
cases,  that  keep  their  sounds  to  themselves. 
Why,  I  have  often  wished  myself  poorer, 
that  I  might  come  nearer  to  you.  We  are 
born  to  do  benefits;  and  what  better  or 
properer  can  we  call  our  own  than  the 
riches  of  our  friends? 

Friendship!  mysterious  cement  of  the  soul! 
Sweet'ner  of  life,  and  solder  of  society! 

It  may  be 
That  Nature  masks  in  life  several  copies 
Of  the  same  lot,  so  that  the  sufferers 
May  feel  another's  sorrow  as  their  own, 
And  find  in  friendship  what  they  lost  in  love. 

Friendship  is  the  only  point  in  human  af- 
fairs, concerning  the  benefit  of  which,  all 
men  with  one  voice  agree. 


Shake- 
speare 
in 

"Timon 
of 

Athens" 
Act  i, 
Sc.2 


Robert 
Blair 


Percy 

Bysshe 

Shelley 


Cicero 


1 64 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Shake- 
speare 


Cam- 
bridge 


Samuel 
Taylor 
Coleridge 


William 
Alger 


Saint 

Chrysos- 

tom 


Chaucer 


Francis 
Bacon 
"Of 
Friend- 
ship" 


You  do  surely  bar  the  door  upon  your 
own  liberty,  if  you  deny  your  griefs  to  your 
friend. 

Friendship  can  smooth  the  front  of  rude 
despair. 

Flowers  are  lovely;  Love  is  flower-like; 
Friendship   is  a   sheltering  tree; 
O!  the  joys,  that  came  down  shower-like, 
Of  Friendship,  Love,  and  Liberty, 
Ere  I  was  old. 

A  pure  friendship  inspires,  cleanses,  ex- 
pands, and  strengthens  the  soul. 

A  faithful  friend  is  the  medicine  of  life; 
for  what  cannot  be  effected  by  means  of  a 
true  friend?  or  what  utility,  what  security, 
does  he  not  afford?  What  pleasure  has 
friendship?  The  mere  beholding  him  dif- 
fuses an  unspeakable  joy,  and  at  the  bare 
memory  of  him  the  mind  is  elevated. 

The  wise  eke  saith,  woe  him  that  is  alone, 
For,  an  he  fall,  he  hath  no  help  to  rise. 

This  communicating  of  a  man's  self  to 
his  friend  works  two  contrary  effects,  for 
it  redoubleth  joys,  and  cutteth  griefs  in 
halves.  For  there  is  no  man  that  imparteth 
his  joys  to  his  friend  but  he  enjoyeth  the 
more,  and  no  man  that  imparteth  his  griefs 
to  his  friend  but  he  grieveth  the  less. 


BENEFITS  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


165 


At  the  need  the  friend  is  known. 

As  bees  mixed  nectar  draw  from  fragrant  flowers, 
Do  men  from  friendship  wisdom  and  delight. 

There  are  some  to  whom  we  speak  al- 
most in  a  language  of  our  own,  with  the 
confidence  that  all  our  broken  hints  are 
recognized  with  a  thrill  of  kinship,  and  our 
half-uttered  thoughts  discerned  and  shared: 
some  with  whom  we  need  not  cramp  our 
meaning  into  the  dead  form  of  an  explicit 
accuracy,  and  with  whom  we  can  forecast 
that  we  shall  walk  together  in  undoubting 
sympathy  even  over  tracks  of  taste  and  be- 
lief which  we  may  never  yet  have  touched. 

Like  gushing  water  brooks, 
Freshening  and  making  green  the  dimmest  nooks 
Of  thy  friend's  soul  thy  kindness  should  flow. 

The  greatest  benefit  which  one  friend  can 
confer  upon  another,  is  to  guard,  and  excite, 
and  elevate  his  virtues. 


Caxton 

Edward 
Young 

Bishop 
Paget 


James 

Russell 

Lowell 


Samuel 
Johnson 


How  sweet,  how  passing  sweet  is  solitude! 
But  grant  me  still  a  friend  in  my  retreat, 
Whom  I  may  whisper — "Solitude  is  sweet." 

You  cannot  find  a  man  who  fully  loves 
any  living  thing,  that,  dolt  and  dullard 
though  he  be,  is  not  in  some  spot  lovable 
himself.  He  gets  something  from  his  friend 
if  he  had  nothing  at  all  before. 


La 

Bruyere 


Phillips 
Brooks 


1 66 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


William 
Alger 


Love,  in  its  high  and  pure  form,  is  con- 
fined to  one  object.  Friendship  has  this  ad- 
vantage, that  it  may  be  given  to  all,  how- 
ever numerous,  whose  conduct  and  qualities 
of  character  are  fitted  to  command  it.  It  is, 
therefore,  less  perilous,  less  exposed  to  fatal 
wreck,  more  capable  of  consolations  and  re- 
placements. 


William      When  to  the  sessions  of  sweet  silent  thought 
Shake-  I  summon  up  remembrance  of  things  past, 

I  sigh  the  lack  of  many  a  thing  I  sought, 
And  with  old  woes  new  wail  my  dear  time's 
waste; 
Then  can  I  drown  an  eye,  unused  to  flow, 

For    precisus    friends    hid    in    death's    dateless 
night, 
And  weep  afresh  love's  long  since  cancelled  woe, 
And  moan  the  expense  of  many  a  vanished  sight. 
Then  can  I  grieve  at  grievances  foregone, 
And  heavily  from  woe  to  woe  tell  o'er 
The  sad  account  of  fore  bemoaned  moan, 

Which  I  now  pay  as  if  not  paid  before: 
But  if  the  while  I  think  on  thee,  dear  friend, 
All  losses  are  restored,  and  sorrows  end. 


Henry 

David 

Thoreau 


Think  of  the  importance  of  friendship  in 
the  education  of  men.  It  will  make  a  man 
honest ;  it  will  make  him  a  hero ;  it  will 
make  him  a  saint.  It  is  the  state  of  the  just 
dealing  with  the  just;  the  magnanimous 
with  the  magnanimous;  the  sincere  with 
the  sincere;  man  with  man. 


BENEFITS  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


167 


A  true  friend  is  distinguished  in  the  cri- 
sis of  hazard  and  necessity,  when  the  gal- 
lantry of  his  aid  may  show  the  worth  of  his 
soul  and  loyalty  of  his  heart. 

Friendship  is  more  than  cattle; 
A  friend  in  court  aye  better  is 
Than  penny  is  in  purse  certes. 


A  principal  fruit  of  friendship  is  the  ease 
and  discharge  of  the  fullness  and  swellings 
of  the  heart,  which  passions  of  all  kind  do 
cause  and  induce.  We  know  diseases  of 
stoppings  and  suffocations  are  the  most 
dangerous  in  the  body;  and  it  is  not  much 
otherwise  in  the  mind.  You  may  take  sarza 
to  open  the  liver,  steel  to  open  the  spleen, 
flowers  of  sulphur  for  the  lungs,  castoreum 
for  the  brain;  but  no  receipt  openeth  the 
heart  but  a  true  friend,  to  whom  you  may 
impart  griefs,  joys,  fears,  hopes,  suspicions, 
counsels,  and  whatsoever  lieth  upon  the 
heart  to  oppress  it,  in  a  kind  of  civil  shift  or 
confession. 


Francis 
Bacon 
"Of 

Friend- 
ship" 


Life  is  to  be  fortified  by  many  friendships.  Sydney 

To  love  and  to  be  loved,  is  the  greatest  happiness 
of  existence. 


Friendship  is  the  cordial  of  life,  the  lenti- 
tive  of  our  sorrows,  the  multiplier  of  our 
joys. 


Robert 
Hall 


1 68 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Ralph 
Waldo 
Emerson 
on 
"Friend- 
ship" 


Our  intellectual  and  active  powers  in- 
crease with  our  affection.  The  scholar  sits 
down  to  write,  and  all  his  years  of  medita- 
tion do  not  furnish  him  with  one  good 
thought  or  happy  expression;  but  it  is  nec- 
essary to  write  a  letter  to  a  friend,  and, 
forthwith,  troops  of  gentle  thoughts  invest 
themselves,  on  every  hand,  with  chosen 
words. 


Ennius 


How  can  life  be  worth  living,  if  devoid 
Of  the  calm  trust  reposed  by  friend  in  friend? 
What  sweeter  joy  than  in  the  kindred  soul, 
Whose  converse  differs  not  from  self-communion. 


Old 

Proverb 


You   cannot  put  water  on  fire   to  more 
uses  than  friendship  serves. 


Paul 
Siegvolk 


Association  and  familiar  intercourse  with 
our  fellow-men  induce  toleration  of,  and 
liberty  toward,  the  opinions,  manners,  con- 
duct, and  characters  of  others. 


Pope       By  mutual  confidence  and  mutual  aid 

Great  deeds  are  done,  and  great  discoveries  made. 


Francis 
Bacon  on 
"Friend- 
ship" 


A  man  can  scarce  allege  his  own  merits 
with  modesty,  much  less  extol  them ;  a  man 
cannot  sometimes  brook  to  supplicate  or 
beg,  and  a  number  of  the  like ;  but  all  these 
things  are  graceful  in  a  friend's  mouth, 
which  are  blushing  in  a  man's  own.    . 


XV 
OLD  FRIENDS  ARE  BEST 


OLD  FRIENDS  ARE  BEST 


171 


For  believe  me,  in  this  world  which  is 
ever  slipping  from  under  our  feet,  it  is  the 
prerogative  of  friendship  to  grow  old  with 
one's  friends. 

We  just  shake  hands  at  meeting 

With  many  that  come  nigh; 
We  nod  the  head  in  greeting 

To  many  that  go  by. 
But  welcome  through  the  gateway 

Our  few  old  friends  and  true; 
Then  hearts  leap  up  and  straightway 

There  's  open  house  for  you, 
Old  friends, 

There's  open  house  for  you! 

Time  draweth  wrinkles  in  a  fair  face,  but 
addeth  fresh  colors  to  a  fast  friend. 

Does  my  old  friend  remember  me? 

The  best  mirror  is  an  old  friend. 

We  have  been  friends  together 
In  sunshine  and  in  shade. 

How  unspeakably  the  lengthening  of 
memories  in  common  endears  our  old 
friends ! 

A  lifelong  friendship  cast  thou  not  aside! 
Ages  may  pass  before  the  ruby's  pride 

A  stone  takes  on;  an  instant  is  enough 
To  spoil  the  jewel  that  the  years  defied. 

How  much  the  best  of  a  man's  friend  is 
his  oldest  friend. 


Arthur 
Hardy 


Gerald 
Massey 


John 
Lyle 


Tennyson 

Proverb 

Caroline 
Norton 

George 
Eliot 


Saadi 


Plautus 


172 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Henry 

David 

Thoreau 


Do  not  trouble  yourself  much  to  get  new 
things,  whether  clothes  or  friends.  Turn 
the  old ;  return  to  them. 


Charles 

Lamb 

"The  Old 

Familiar 

Faces" 


I  have  had  playmates,  I  have  had  companions, 
In  my  days  of  childhood,  in  my  joyful  school  days; 
All,  all  are  gone,  the  old  familiar  faces. 

I  have  been  laughing,  I  have  been  carousing, 
Drinking  late,  sitting  late,  with  my  bosom  cronies; 
All,  all  are  gone,  the  old  familiar  faces.     .    .     . 


I  have  a  friend,  a  kinder  friend  has  no  man: 
Like  an  ingrate,  I  left  my  friend  abruptly; 
Left  him  to  muse  on  the  old  familiar  faces. 

Ghost  like  I  pace  round  the  haunts  of  my  child- 
hood, 
Earth  seemed  a  desert  I  was  bound  to  traverse, 
Seeking  to  find  the  old  familiar  faces. 

Friend  of  my  bosom,  thou  more  than  a  brother, 
Why  wert  not  thou  born  in  my  father's  dwelling? 
So  we  might  talk  of  the  old  familiar  faces. 

How  some  they  have  died,  and  some  they  have 

left  me, 
And  some  are  taken  from  me;  all  are  departed; 
All,  all  are  gone,  the  old  familiar  faces. 


John 
Webster 
in  "West- 
ward Ho" 


Is  not  old  wine  wholesomest,  old  pippins 
toothsomest,  old  wood  burns  brightest,  old 
linen  wash  whitest?  Old  soldiers  are  surest, 
and  old  lovers  are  soundest. 


OLD  FRIENDS  ARE  BEST 


Friends  we  have,  if  we  have  merited  them. 
Those  of  our  earliest  years  stand  nearest  in 
our  affections. 

Dag  gone  it  'Ras!  they  haint  no  friend, 
It  'pears  like,  left  to  comprehend 
Sich  things  as  these  but  you,  and  see 
How  dratted  sweet  they  air  to  me! 
And  so,  Ras  Wilson,  stop  and  shake 
A  paw,  fer  old  acquaintance  sake! 

Old  friends  are  best.  King  James  used  to 
call  for  his  old  shoes;  they  were  easiest  for 
his  feet. 

Each  year  to  ancient  friendship  adds  a  ring, 
As  to  an  oak,  and  precious  more  and  more, 
Without  deservingness  or  help  of  ours, 
They  grow,  and,  silent,  wider  spread,  each  year, 
Their  unbought  ring  of  shelter  or  of  shade. 

When  old  age  comes,  that  man  is  poor 
indeed — in  heart — compared  with  what  he 
might  have  been,  if  he  has  loved  no  life- 
long friend. 

Old  friends  burn  dim,  like  lamps  in  noisome  air; 
Love  them  for  what  they  are;  nor  love  them  less, 
Because  to  thee  they  are  not  what  they  were. 

Alonso  of  Aragon  was  wont  to  say  in 
commendation  of  age,  that  age  appears  to 
be  best  in  four  things,  old  wood  best  to  burn, 
old  wine  to  drink,  old  friends  to  trust,  and 
old  authors  to  read. 


173 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


James 
Whit- 
comb 
Riley 


John 
Selden 


James 

Russell 

Lowell 


Perry 
Marshall 


Samuel 
Taylor 
Coleridge 


Francis 
Bacon 
Apo- 
thegms 


»74 

THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 

George 

It  is  easy  to  say  how  we  love  new  friends, 

Eliot 

and  what  we  think  of  them,  but  words  can 

never  trace  out  all  the  fibers  that  knit  us  to 

the  old. 

Bliss 
Carman 
in  "The 

Of  a  sudden  at  a  well-known  corner, 

In  the  densest  throng, 

City  in 

Unexpected   at   the   very   moment 

the  Sea" 

As  an  April  robin's  gush  of  song, 

Some  one  smiles;  and  there  's  the  perfect  comrade 

I  have  missed  so  long. 

Jeremy 
Taylor 

An  old  friend  is  like  old  wine,  which,  when 

a  man  hath  drunk,  he  doth  not  desire  new, 

because  he  saith  "the  old  is  better". 

Schiller 

An  old  friend  deserves  attention. 

Robert 

Old  friends  to  talk! 

Hinckley 

Ay,  bring  those  chosen  few, 

folessinger 

The  wise,  the  courtly,  and  the  true, 

So  rarely  found; 

Him  for  my  wine,  him  for  my  stud, 

Him  for  my  easel,  distich,  bud, 

In  mountain  walk! 

Bring  Walter  good, 

With  soulful  Fred,  and  learned  Will, 

And  thee,  my  alter  ego  (dearer  still 

For   every   mood). 

These  add  a  bouquet  to  my  wine! 

These  add  a  sparkle  to  my  pine! 

If  these  I  tine. 

Can  books,  or  fire,  or  wine  be  good? 

Horace 

Old  friends  are  the  greatest  blessings  of 

Walpole 

one's  later  years. 

OLD  FRIENDS  ARE  BEST 


J75 


The  place  where  two  friends  met  is  sacred 
to  them  all  through  their  friendship,  all  the 
more  sacred  as  their  friendship  deepens  and 
grows  old. 

The  lights  they  shine  along  the  shore — the  ripples 

waver  in 
And  from  the  far  away  there  comes  the  quaver- 
ing mandolin: 
To-morrow  we  must  choose  for  us  the  ways  that 

we  shall  wend 
For  all  our  goodly  Fellowship  hath  come  unto 
and  end. 

Now  we  must  part  with  room-mate  Jack — 

Our  more  than  brother  he — 
Who  slapped  us  blithely  on  the  back 

Or  cursed  us   gruesomely; 
Who  paid  our  debts,  who  wore  our  ties, 

Who  kissed  our  girls — deceiver! 
Who  watched  all  night  with  unshut  eyes 
When  we  lay  blind  with  fever. 

The  older  a  friendship  is  the  more  precious 
it  should  be,  as  is  the  case  with  wines  that 
will  bear  keeping. 

Old  books,  old  wine,  old  Nankin  blue, 
All  things,  in  short,  to  which  belong 
The  charm,  the  grace  that  Time  makes  strong, 

All  things  I  prize  but  (entre  nous) 
Old  friends  are  best. 

Forsake  not  an  old  friend;  for  the  new  is 
not  comparable  to  him:  a  new  friend  is  as 
new  wine;  when  it  is  old  thou  shalt  drink 
it  with  pleasure. 


Phillips 
Brooks 


Horatio 
Winslow 
in  "Com- 
mence- 
ment 
Chant" 


Cicero 
"On 
Friend- 
ship" 

Austin 
Dobson 


Proverbs 


176 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Gold- 
smith 


Andrew 
Lang 


Shakerly 
Marmion 


James 
Whit- 
comb 
Riley 


Horace 
Walpole 


Lowell 


I  love  everything  that 's  old :  old  friends, 
old  times,  old  manners,  old  books,  old  wine. 

Change,  Care,  nor  Time  while  life  endure, 
Shall  spoil  our  ancient  friendship  sure. 

What  find  you  better  or  more  honorable 
than  age?  Take  the  pre-eminence  of  it  in 
everything,  in  an  old  friend,  in  old  wine,  in 
an  old  pedigree. 

For  forty  years  and  better  you  have  been  a  friend 
to  me, 

Through  days  of  sore  afflictions  and  dire  ad- 
versity, 

You  alius  had  a  kind  word  of  counsul  to  impart, 

Which  was  like  a  healin'  'intment  to  the  sorrow 
of  my  hart. 

Ways   was   devius,   William   Leachman,   that   me 

and  you  has  past; 
But  as  I  found  you  true  at  first,  I  find  you  true 

at  last; 
And,  now  the  time's  a  comin'  mighty  nigh  our 

journey's  end, 
I  want  to  throw  wide  open  all  my  soul  to  you, 

my  friend. 

I  have  young  relations  that  may  grown 
upon  me,  for  my  nature  is  affectionate,  but 
can  they  grow  old  friends?  My  age  forbids 
that. 

A  friendship  counting  nearly  forty  years 
is  the  finest  kind  of  shade-tree  I  know. 


OLD  FRIENDS  ARE  BEST 


What  an  ocean  is  life !  and  how  our  barks 
get  separated  in  beating  through  it !  One  of 
the  greatest  comforts  of  the  retirement  to 
which  I  shall  soon  withdraw,  will  be  its  re- 
joining me  to  my  earliest  and  best  friends, 
and  acquaintances. 

Should  auld  acquaintance  be  forgot, 

And  never  brought  to  mind? 
Should  auld  acquaintance  be  forgot 

And  days  o'  lang  syne? 
For  auld  lang  syne,  my  dear, 

For  auld  lang  syne, 
We  '11  take  a  cup  o'  kindness  yet, 

For  auld  lang  syne. 

Old  friends  are  the  greatest  blessings  of 
one's  latter  years.  Half  a  word  conveys 
one's  meaning.  They  have  memory  of  the 
same  events,  and  have  the  same  mode  of 
thinking. 

But  what  binds  us  friend  to  friend, 
But  that  soul  with  soul  can  blend? 
Soul-like  were  those  hours  of  yore; 
Let  us  walk  in  soul  once  more. 

When  you  have  spent  your  boyhood  and 
played  your  youthful  pranks  with  a  comrade, 
the  sympathy  between  you  and  him  has 
something  sacred  about  it;  his  voice,  his 
glance,  stir  certain  chords  in  your  heart  that 
only  vibrate  under  the  memories  he  brings 
back. 


177 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


Robert 
Burns 


Horace 
Walpole 


Ludwig 
Uhland  ' 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


i78 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


Shake- 
speare 


Ovid  in 

"Amor- 

um" 


James 

Russell 

Lowell 

"Under 

the 

Willows" 


I  find  friendship  to  be  like  wine,  raw  when 
new,  ripened  with  age,  the  true  old  man's 
milk  and  restorative  cordial. 

Friend,  whom  thy  fourscore  winters  leave  more 

dear 
Than  when  life's  roseate  summer  on  thy  cheek 
Burned  in  the  flush  of  manhood's  manliest  year, 
Lonely,  how  lonely!  is  the  snowy  peak 
Thy  feet  have  reached,   and  mine  have  climbed 

so  near! 
Close  on  thy  footsteps,  'mid  the  landscape  drear, 
I  stretch  my  hand  thine  answering  grasp  to  seek, 
Warm  with  the  love  no  rippling  rhymes  can  speak! 

To  me,  fair  friend,  you  never  can  be  old, 
For  as  you  were  when  first  your  eye  I  ey'd, 
Such  seems  your  beauty  still. 

All  your  life  there  was  perfect  agreement 
between  you,  and  to  the  end  your  long  and 
faithful  friendship  endured. 

There  muse  I  of  old  times,  old  hopes,  old  friends. 
Old   friends!     The  writing   of   those   words   has 

borne 
My  fancy  backward  to  the  gracious  past, 
The  generous  past,  when  all  was  possible, 
For  all  was  then  untried;  the  years  between 
Have    taught    some    sweet,    some   bitter   lessons, 

none 
Wiser  than  this, — to  spend  in  all  things  else, 

But  of  old  friends  to  be  most  miserly. 

I 

That  friendship  which  first  came  and 
which  shall  last  endure. 


OLD  FRIENDS  ARE  BEST 


179 


A  friend  may  be  often  found  and  lost,  but 
an  old  friend  can  never  be  found,  and  nature 
has  provided  that  he  cannot  be  easily  lost. 

To  grow  old  with  you;  when  the  days  grow  sere 
To  have  you  by  me,  making  time  appear 
Our  willing  servant;  at  an  age  awry 
Laughing  and  jesting  as  in  times  gone  by; 
Recalling  youth,   O   friend   ere  youth  was  near, 
Has  left  the  sweeter  each  advancing  year. 
Still  is  earth  green,  and  skies  are  ever  clear 
That  listen  to  my  happy  heart's  fond  cry 
To  grow  old  with  you! 

And  how  old  joys  return  and  linger  here 
In  the  retelling,  how  quickly  dries  the  tear 

You  smile  upon,  how  quick  the  new  griefs  fly! 

So,  when   fulfillment  come,   why,   then  shall   I 
Smile  at  my  granted  wish — how  should  I  fear? — 
To  grow  old  with  you. 

I  enjoy,  in  recollection,  my  ancient  friend- 
ships, and  suffer  no  new  circumstances  to 
mix  alloy  with  them. 

When  round  the  bowl  of  vanished  years 
We  talk  with  joyous  seeming, 
With  smiles  that  might  as  well  be  tears, 
So  faint,  so  sad  their  beaming; 
While  memory  brings  us  back  again 
Each  early  tie  that  twined  us, 
Oh,  sweet 's  the  cup  that  circles  then 
To  those  we  've  left  behind  us! 

Friendship  is  the  shadow  of  the  evening, 
which  strengthens  with  the  setting  sun  of 
life. 


Samuel 
Johnson 


Wallace 
Rice  on 
"Growing 
Old  To- 
gether" 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


Thomas 
Moore 


La  Fon- 
taine 


XVI 
FRIENDS  THAT  ARE  GONE 


FRIENDS  THAT  ARE  GONE 


183 


Meeting  is  the  beginning  of  parting. 

We  never  know  the  true  value  of  friends. 
While  they  live,  we  are  too  sensitive  of 
their  faults;  when  we  have  lost  them,  we 
only  see  their  virtues. 

Time  takes  them  home  that  we  loved,  fair  names 
and  famous. 
To  the  soft  long  sleep,  to  the  broad  sweet  bosom 
of  death; 
But  the  flower  of  their  souls  he  shall  not  take 
away  to  shame  us, 
Nor  the  lips  lack  song  for  ever  that  now  lack 
breath. 
For  with  us  shall  the  music  and  perfume  that  die 
not,  dwell. 
Though  the  dead  to  our  dead  bid  welcome,  and 
we  farewell. 

As  I  grow  older,  I  set  a  higher  value  on 
the  intimacies  of  my  youth,  and  am  more 
afflicted  by  whatever  loses  one  of  them  to 
me. 

'T  is  sweet,  as  year  by  year  we  lose 
Friends  out  of  sight,  in  faith  to  muse 
How  grows  in  Paradise  our  store. 

Let  the  soul  be  assured  that  somewhere 
in  the  universe  it  shall  rejoin  its  friend,  and 
it  will  be  content  and  cheerful  alone  for 
a  thousand  years. 


Japanese 
Proverb 

J.  C.  and 
A.  W. 
Hare 


Algernon 
Charles 
Swin- 
burne 


Thomas 
Jefferson 


John 
Keble 


Ralph 

Waldo 

Emerson 


1 84 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Thomas 
Moore 


Alfred 
Tennyson 
in  "In 
Memor- 
iam" 


John 
Milton 


Thomas 

Campbell 

"The 

River  of 

Life" 

Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


John 
Greenleaf 
Whittier 


Ah!  well  may  we  hope  when  this  short  life  is  gone 
To  meet  in  some  world  of  more  permanent  bliss; 
For  a  smile,  or  a  grasp  of  the  hand,  hastening  on, 
Is  all  we  enjoy  of  each  other  in  this. 

Ah  yet,  ev'n  yet,  if  this  might  be, 
I  falling  on  his  faithful  heart, 
Would  breathing  through  his  lips  impart 

The  life  that  almost  dies  in  me: 

That  dies  not,  but  endures  with  pain, 
And  slowly  forms  the  firmer  mind, 
Treasuring  the  look  it  cannot  find, 

The  words  that  are  not  heard  again. 

But  oh,  the  heavy  change,  now  thou  art  gone, 
Now  thou  art  gone,  and  never  must  return! 

It  may  be  strange;  yet  who  would  change 
Time's  course  to  slower  speeding, 

When  one  by  one  our  friends  have  gone 
And  left  our  bosoms  bleeding? 

We  who  behold  our  autumn  sun  below 

The  Scorpion's  sign,  against  the  Archer's  bow, 

Know  well  what  parting  means   of  friend  from 

friend; 
After  the  snows  no  freshening  dews  descend, 
And  what  the  frost  has  marred,  the  sunshine  will 

not  mend. 

I  have  friends  in  Spirit  Land, 
Not  shadows  in  a  shadowy  band, 
Not  others,  but  themselves  are  they, 
And  still  I  think  of  them  the  same 
As  when  the  Master's  summons  came. 


FRIENDS  THAT  ARE  GONE 


185 


There  is  something  very  sad  in  the  death 
of  friends.  We  seem  to  provide  for  our 
own  mortality,  and  to  make  up  our  minds 
to  die.  We  are  warned  by  sickness,  fever 
and  ague,  and  sleepless  nights,  and  a  hun- 
dred dull  infirmities;  but  when  our  friends 
pass  away,  we  lament  them  as  though  we 
had  considered  them  immortal. 

Of  our  great  love,  Parthenophil, 
This   little  stone  abideth  still 

Sole  sign  and  token: 
I  seek  thee  yet,  and  yet  shall  seek, 
Though  faint  mine  eyes,  my  spirit  weak 

With   prayers  unspoken. 

Meanwhile  best  friend  of  friends,  do  thou, 
If  this  the  cruel  fates  allow, 

By  death's  dark  river, 
Among  those  shadowy  people,  drink 
No  drop  for  me  on  Lethe's  brink: 

Forget  me  never! 

Over  the  river  they  beckon  to  me — 

Loved  ones  who  've  crossed  to  the  farther  side. 

Fast  as  the  rolling  seasons  bring 

The  hour  of  fate  to  those  we  love, 
Each  pearl  that  leaves  that  broken  string 

Is  set  in  friendship's  crown  above. 
As  narrower  grows  the  earthly  chain, 

Our  circle  widens  in  the  sky; 
These  are  the  treasures  that  remain, 

But  those  are  stars  that  beam  on  high. 


Barry 
Cornwall 


Epitaph 
Anony- 
mous 
from  the 
Greek 


Nancy 
Priest 


Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


i86 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Jerome 

,  K. 

Jerome 

in  "Idle 

Thoughts 

of  an 

Idle 

Fellow" 


Ah  me!  the  world  grows  very  full  of 
ghosts  as  we  grow  older.  Every  house, 
every  room,  every  creaking  chair  has  its 
own  particular  ghost.  They  haunt  the 
empty  chambers  of  our  lives,  they  throng 
around  us  like  dead  leaves,  whirled  in  the 
autumn  wind.  Some  are  living,  some  are 
dead.  We  know  not.  We  clasped  their 
hands  once,  loved  them,  quarreled  with 
them,  laughed  with  them,  told  them  our 
thoughts,  and  hopes,  and  aims,  as  they  told 
us  theirs,  till  it  seemed  our  very  hearts 
had  joined  in  a  grip  that  would  defy  the 
puny  power  of  Death.  Ghosts !  they  are  al- 
ways with  us,  and  always  will  be,  while 
the  sad  old  world  keeps  echoing  to  the  sob 
of  long  good-byes,  while  the  cruel  ships 
sail  away  across  the  seas,  and  the  cold  green 
earth  lies  heavy  on  the  hearts  of  those  we 
love. 


Shake- 
speare in 
"All's 
Well 
That 
Ends 
Well," 
Act  v. 
Sc.3 


Love  that  comes  too  late 
Like  a  remorseful  pardon  slowly  carried, 
To  the  great  sender  turns  a  sour  offence, 
Crying   "That's   good   that's   gone."     Our   rash 

faults, 
Make  trivial  price  of  serious  things  we  have, 
Not  knowing  them  until  we  know  their  grave: 
Oft  our  displeasures,  to  ourselves  unjust, 
Destroy  our  friends  and  after  weep  their  dust: 
Our  own  love  waking  cries  to  see  what 's  done, 
While  shameful  hate  sleeps  out  the  afternoon. 


FRIENDS  THAT  ARE  GONE 


187 


Polish?    Not  much,  but  who  cares  for  that,  if  the 

heart  be  as  true  as  steel, 
And  the  kindly  eyes  look  straight  into  yours,  with 

a  look  you  can  almost  feel; 
And  the  voice  rings  true  in  its  welcome,  though 

the  sound  be  a  trifle  gruff? 
If  that 's  what  you  call  rough  manners,  I  own  I 
prefer  them  rough. 

There's  many  a  nobleman,  born  and  bred,  with 

money  in  heaps  to  spend, 
And  a  mincing  voice  and  a  shiny  hat,  and  manners 

and  style  no  end; 
But  I  know  that  if  they  went  missing  I  should 

feel  pretty  happy  still, 
If  I  only  could  have  another  day  and  a  shake  of 

the  hand  with  Bill. 

So,  whene'er  I  turn  my  eye 
Back  upon  the  days  gone  by, 
Saddening  thoughts  of  friends  come  o'er  me, 
Friends  that  closed  their  course  before  me. 

Oh,  where  do  my  forever  losses  tend? 
I  could  already  by  some  buried  friend 
Count  my  unhappy  years;  and  should  the  sun 
Leave  me  in  darkness,  as  this  loss  hath  done, 
By  those  few  friends  I  have  yet  to  entomb 
I  might,  I  fear,  account  my  years  to  come. 

If  we  choose  our  friends  for  what  they  are, 
not  for  what  they  have,  and  if  we  deserve 
so  great  a  blessing,  then  they  will  be  always 
with  us,  preserved  in  absence,  and  even 
after  death  in  the  amber  of  memory. 


Rudolph 
Chambers 
Lehmann 
in  mem- 
ory of 
Bill 
Asplen 


Ludwig 
Uhland 
in  "The 
Passage" 


William 
Browne 
laments 
his  lost 
friends 


Lord 
Avebury 
in  "The 
Pleasures 
of  Life" 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


William 
Perm  in 
"Fruits 
of  Soli- 
tude" 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son 


Elizabeth 
Stuart 
Phelps 


Percy 
Bysshe 
Shelley 

Thomas 
Gray 


J.  Gibson 
Lockhart 


Hafiz 


Death  cannot  kill  what  never  dies.  Nor 
can  spirits  ever  be  divided  that  love  and 
live  in  the  same  divine  principle:  the  root 
and  record  of  their  friendship.  This  is  the 
comfort  of  friends,  that  they  may  be  said 
to  die,  yet  their  friendship  and  society  are, 
in  the  best  sense,  ever  present,  because  im- 
mortal. 

There  are  kind  hearts  still,  for  friends  to  fill, 

And  fools  to  take  and  break  them; 
But  the  nearest  friends  are  the  auldest  friends, 
And  the  grave  's  the  place  to  seek  them. 

The  unfinished  friendships  of  this  life  are 
at  once  its  dreariest  experiences,  and  most 
glorious  hopes, 

And  as  slow  years  pass,  a  funereal  train, 
Each  with  the  ghost  of  some  lost  hope  or  friend, 
Following  it  like  its  shadow. 

Dear  lost  companions — 

Dear,  as  the  light  that  visits  these  sad  eyes, 
Dear,  as  the  ruddy,  ruddy  drops  that  warm  my 
heart. 

It  is  an  old  belief 

That  on  some  solemn  shore, 
Beyond  the  sphere  of  grief, 

Dear  friends  shall  meet  once  more. 

I  have  heard  a  sweet  word  which  was 
spoken  by  Jacob,  the  old  man  of  Canaan: 
"No  tongue  can  express  what  means  the 
separation  of  friends." 


FRIENDS  THAT  ARE  GONE 


189 


Even  the  death  of  friends  will  inspire  us 
as  much  as  their  lives.  They  will  leave  con- 
solation to  the  mourners,  as  the  rich  leave 
money  to  defray  their  funerals,  and  their 
memories  will  be  encrusted  over  with  sub- 
lime and  pleasing  thoughts,  as  monuments 
of  other  men  are  overgrown  with  moss;  for 
our  friends  have  no  place  in  the  graveyard. 

Now  who  will  tell  me  aright 

The  way  my  lost  companion  went  in  the  night? 

My  vanished  comrade  who  passed  from  the  roofs 

of  men, 
And  will  not  come  again. 

Of  them  who,  wrapt  in  earth  so  cold, 
No  more  the  smiling  day  shall  view, 

Should  many  a  tender  tale  be  told, 
For  many  a  tender  thought  is  due. 

These  are  the  old  friends  who  are  never 
seen  with  new  faces,  who  are  the  same  in 
wealth  and  in  poverty,  in  glory  and  obscur- 
ity.    With  the  dead  there  is  no  rivalry. 

I  never  stand  above  a  bier  and  see 

The  seal  of  death  set  on  some  well-loved  face 
But  I  think,  "One  more  to  welcome  me, 

When  I  shall  cross  the  intervening  space 
Between  this  land  and  that  one  over  there; 
One  to  make  the  strange  Beyond  seem  fair. 

Some  tears  fell  down  my  cheeks  and  then  I  smiled, 
As  those  smile  who  have  no  face  in  the  world 
To  smile  back  to  them.     I  had  lost  a  friend. 


Henry 
David 
Thoreau 


Bliss 
Carman 


John 
Lang- 
home 


Thomas 
Macau- 
lay 


Ella 

Wheeler 

Wilcox 


Elizabeth 
Browning 


190 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


John 

Rioux 


Lord 
Byron 


Arabic 

Manu- 
script 


Oliver 

Wendell 

Holmes 


Henry 
Wads- 
worth 
Long- 
fellow 


We  call  that  person  who  has  lost  his 
father  an  orphan ;  and  a  widower,  that  man 
who  has  lost  his  wife.  And  that  man  who 
has  known  the  immense  unhappiness  of  los- 
ing his  friend,  by  what  name  do  we  call 
him?  Here  every  human  language  holds 
its  peace  in  impotence. 

But  who  with  me  shall  hold  thy  former  place? 
Thine  image  what  new  friendship  can  efface, 
Ah!   none!     A  father's  tears  will  cease  to  flow, 
Time  will  assuage  an  infant  brother's  woe; 
To  all  save  one  is  consolation  known, 
Where  solitary   friendship  sighs  alone. 

I  came  to  the  place  of  my  birth,  and  cried, 
"The  friends  of  my  youth  where  are  they?" 
and  echo  answered  "Where  are  they?" 

Each  closing  circle  of  our  sunlit  sphere, 
Seems  to  bring  heaven  more  near: 
Can  we  not  dream  that  those  we  love 
Are  listening  in  the  world  above? 
And  smiling  as  they  hear 
The  voices,  known  so  well,  of  friends  that  still 
are  dear. 

Come  back!  ye  friendships  long  departed! 
That  like  o'erflowing  streamlets  started, 
And  now  are  divided  one  by  one, 
To  stony  channels  in  the  sun! 
Come  back!  ye  friends  whose  lives  are  ended, 
Come  back  with  all  the  light  attended, 
Which  seemed  to  darken  and  decay, 
When  ye  arose  and  went  away. 


FRIENDS  THAT  ARE  GONE 


191 


Some  people  never  seem  to  appreciate 
their  friends  until  they  have  lost  them. 

Then  in  the  eternal  Father's  smile, 

Our  soothed,  encouraged  souls  will  dare 

To  seem  as  free  from  pride  and  guile, 
As  good  and  generous  as  they  are. 

Then  shall  we  know  our  friends!   though  much 
Will  have  been  lost — the  help  in  strife, 

The  thousand  sweet,  still  joys  of  such 
As  hand  in  hand  face  earthly  life — 

Though  these  be  lost,  there  will  be  yet 

A  sympathy  august  and  pure; 
Ennobled  by  a  vast  regret, 

And  by  contrition  seal'd  thrice  sure. 

I  saw  a  dead  man's  finer  part 
Shining  within  each  faithful  heart 
Of   those   bereft.     Then   said   I,   "This   must   be 
His  Immortality." 

But  he  who  has  once  stood  beside  the 
grave,  to  look  back  on  the  companionship 
which  has  been  forever  closed,  feeling  how 
impotent  then  are  the  wild  love  and  the 
keen  sorrow  to  give  one  instant's  pleasure 
to  the  pulseless  heart,  or  to  atone,  in  the 
lowest  measure  to  the  departed  spirit,  for 
the  hour  of  unkindness,  will  scarcely  for 
the  future  incur  that  debt  to  the  heart 
which  can  only  be  discharged  to  the  dust. 


Lord 
Avebury 


Matthew 
Arnold 
in  "Swit- 
zerland" 


Thomas 
Hardy 


John 

Ruskin 


192 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Robert 
Louis 
Steven- 
son 


Thomas 
Bayly 


He  is  not  dead,  this  friend,  not  dead, 
But  in  the  path  we  mortals  tread, 
Got  some  few  trifling  steps  ahead, 

And  nearer  to  the  end, 
So  that  you,  too,  once  past  the  bend, 
Shall  meet  again,  as  face  to  face,  this  friend 

You  fancy  dead. 

Push  gaily  on,  Strong-Heart!    The  while 
You  travel  forward,  mile  by  mile, 

Till  you  can  overtake, 
He  strains  his  eyes  to  search  his  wake, 
Or,  whistling  as  he  sees  you  through  the  break, 

Waits  on  the  stile. 

Friends  depart,  and  memory  takes  them 
To  her  caverns,  pure  and  deep. 


James 
Russell 
Lowell 


I  weep  to  think  of  those  old  faces, 
To  see  them  in  their  grief  or  mirth; 

I  weep — for  there  are  empty  places 
Around  my  heart's  once  crowded  hearth. 


Thomas 

Moore 

in  "The 

Light  of 

Other 

Days" 


When  I  remember  all 

The  friends  so  linked  together 
I  've  seen  around  me  fall 

Like  leaves  in  wintry  weather, 
I  feel  like  one 
Who  treads  alone 
Some  banquet  hall  deserted, 
'Whose  lights  are  fled, 
Whose  garlands  dead, 
And  all  but  he  departed! 
Thus  in  the  stilly  night 

Ere  slumber's  chain  has  bound  me, 
Sad  memory  brings  the  light 
Of  other  days  around  me. 


FRIENDS  THAT  ARE  GONE 


i93 


Every  one  that  has  not  been  long  dead 
has  a  due  portion  of  praise  allotted  to  him, 
in  which  while  he  lived  his  friends  were  too 
profuse  and  his  enemies  too  sparing. 

Tears  of  the  widower,  when  he  sees, 
A  late  lost  form  that  sleep  reveals, 
And  moves  his  doubtful  arms,  and  feels 

Her  place  is  empty,  fall  like  these; 

Which  weep  a  loss  for  ever  new, 
A  void  where  heart  on  heart  reposed; 
And,  where  warm  hands  have  prest  and  closed, 

Silence,  till  I  be  silent  too. 

Which  weep  the  comrade  of  my  choice, 
An  awful  thought,  a  life  removed, 
The  human-hearted  man  I  loved, 

A   spirit,  not   a  breathing  voice. 

When  musing  on  companions  gone, 
We  doubly  feel  ourselves  alone. 

It  must  have  been  his  charity, 
That  tender  human  heart  of  his, 
That  rare  unfailing  kindliness, 
Could  make  his  death  seem  so  amiss. 

Friend  after  friend  departs; 

Who  hath  not  lost  a  friend? 
There  is  no  union  here  of  hearts 

That  finds  not   here   an   end. 

Fate  ordains  that  the  dearest  friends 
must  part. 


Joseph 
Addison 


Alfred 
Tennyson 
"In  Me- 
moriam' 


William 
Scott 


Bliss 
Carman 


James 
Mont- 
gomery 


Edward 
Young 


XVII 
THE  GREAT  FRIENDSHIPS 


THE  GREAT  FRIENDSHIPS 


197 


It  was  when  David  came  up  from  Bethle- 
hem, recommended  by  one  of  Saul's  serv- 
ants, to  be  no  more  a  shepherd  of  sheep, 
but  armorbearer  to  the  King,  that  he  met 
the  King's  valiant  and  generous  son,  Jona- 
than, prince  of  Israel.  For  at  that  time 
Jonathan  had  already  abundantly  proved 
his  temper,  smiting  a  garrison  of  the  Phil- 
istines at  Geba,  standing  out  against  the 
assemblage  of  their  hosts  at  Gibeah  when 
there  was  neither  sword  nor  spear  in  all 
Israel,  slaying  with  the  sole  assistance  of 
his  armorbearer  twenty  of  the  enemy  and 
putting  the  rest  to  rout,  panic-stricken, 
holding  himself  independent  of  his  royal 
father  when  he  would  have  put  him  to 
death  for  disobedience,  with  the  people  at 
his  back,  and  in  every  way  showing  himself 
worthy  of  succession  to  the  throne.  But  it 
was  not  until  David  had  won  his  notable 
victory  over  Goliath  of  Gath  and  was  stand- 
ing before  Saul  "when  he  had  made  an  end 
of  speaking  unto  Saul,  that  the  soul  of  Jona- 
than was  knit  with  the  soul  of  David,  and 
Jonathan  loved  him  as  his  own  soul.  Then 
Jonathan  and  David  made  a  covenant,  be- 
cause he  loved  him  as  his  own  soul;  and 
Jonathan  stripped  himself  of  the  robe  that 
was  upon  him  and  gave  it  to  David,  and  his 
garments,  even  to  his  sword,  his  bow,  and 
his  girdle." 


David 

and 

Jonathan 


1 98 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


David 

and 

Jonathan 


There  followed  one  of  Saul's  evil  periods, 
in  which  he  shifted  between  awarding 
David  one  or  another  of  his  daughters  in 
honor  or  conspiring  against  his  life.  Fin- 
ally "  Saul  spake  to  Jonathan  his  son,  and 
to  all  his  servants,  that  they  should  kill 
David.  But  Jonathan  delighted  much  in 
David,  and  told  him,  saying :  '  Saul  my 
father  seeketh  to  kill  thee;  now  therefore, 
I  pray  thee,  take  heed  to  thyself  until  the 
morning,  and  abide  in  a  secret  place  and 
hide  thyself;  and  I  will  go  out  and  stand 
beside  my  father  in  the  field  where  thou 
art,  and  I  will  commune  with  my  father 
of  thee;  and  what  I  see,  that  will  I  tell 
thee.'  And  Jonathan  spake  good  of  David 
unto  Saul  his  father,  and  said  unto  him: 
'  Let  not  the  King  sin  against  his  servant, 
against  David;  because  he  hath  not  sinned 
against  thee,  and  because  his  works  have 
been  to  theeward  very  good ;  for  he  did  put 
his  life  in  his  hand,  and  slew  the  Philistine, 
and  the  Lord  wrought  a  great  salvation  for 
all  Israel.  Thou  sawest  it  and  didst  re- 
joice; wherefore  then  wilt  thou  sin  against 
innocent  blood,  to  slay  David  without  a 
cause?'  And  Saul  hearkened  unto  the 
voice  of  Jonathan ;  and  Saul  sware,  '  As  the 
Lord  liveth,  he  shall  not  be  slain.'  Jonathan 
called  David,  and  Jonathan  shewed  him  all 
those  things.    And  Jonathan  brought  David 


THE  GREAT  FRIENDSHIPS 


199 


to  Saul,  and  he  was  in  his  presence  as  in 
times  past." 

But  Saul's  memory  was  short  and  his 
word  valueless,  though  given  to  his  first- 
born. After  perfidiously  seeking  David's 
life  with  his  own  spear,  while  the  youth  was 
playing  before  him,  he  sent  to  his  house  to 
have  him  slain.  By  this  time  David  was 
brother-in-law  to  Jonathan,  and  it  was  his 
wife  Michal,  Jonathan's  sister,  who  let  him 
out  of  the  window  in  time  to  save  his  life. 
David  betook  himself  to  Samuel  at  Naioth 
in  Remah,  whither  Saul  followed  him.  "  And 
David  fled  from  Naioth  and  came  and  said 
before  Jonathan:  'What  have  I  done?  what 
is  mine  iniquity?  and  what  is  my  sin  before 
thy  father  that  he  seeketh  my  life  ? '  And 
he  said  unto  him :  '  God  forbid ;  thou  shalt 
not  die;  behold,  my  father  will  do  nothing 
either  great  or  small  but  that  he  will  shew 
it  me.  Why  would  my  father  hide  this 
thing  from  me?  It  is  not  so.'  And  David 
sware  moreover  and  said :  '  Thy  father  cer- 
tainly knoweth  that  I  have  found  grace  in 
thine  eyes ;  and  he  saith,  "  Let  not  Jonathan 
know  this,  lest  he  be  grieved ;  "  but  truly, 
as  the  Lord  liveth,  and  as  thy  soul  liveth, 
there  is  but  a  step  between  me  and  death.' 
Then  said  Jonathan  unto  David,  '  Whatso- 
ever thy  soul  desireth,  I  will  even  do  it  for 
thee.'      And     David    said   unto   Jonathan: 


David 

and 

Jonathan 


20O 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


David 
and 
Jonathan 


'  Behold,  to-morrow  is  the  new  moon,  and  I 
should  not  fail  to  sit  with  the  King  at  meat ; 
but  let  me  go,  that  I  may  hide  myself  in 
the  field  unto  the  third  day  at  even.  If  thy 
father  at  all  miss  me,  then  say,  "  David 
earnestly  asked  leave  of  me  that  he  might 
run  to  Bethlehem  his  city;  for  there  is  a 
yearly  sacrifice  there  for  all  the  family." 
If  he  say  thus,  "  It  is  well ;  "  thy  servant 
shall  have  peace.  But  if  he  be  very  wroth, 
then  be  sure  that  evil  is  determined  by  him. 
Therefore  thou  shalt  deal  kindly  with  thy 
servant;  for  thou  hast  brought  thy  servant 
into  a  covenant  of  the  Lord  with  thee :  Not- 
withstanding, if  there  be  in  me  iniquity, 
slay  me  thyself,  for  why  shouldest  thou 
bring  me  to  thy  father?'  And  Jonathan 
said :  '  Far  be  it  from  thee ;  for  if  I  knew 
certainly  that  evil  were  determined  by  my 
father  to  come  upon  thee,  then  would  I  not 
tell  it  thee?  '  Then  said  David  to  Jonathan, 
•  Who  shall  tell  me?  or  what  if  thy  father 
answer  thee  roughly?  ' 

"  Jonathan  said  unto  David,  '  Come  let  us 
go  out  into  the  field.'  And  they  went  out, 
both  of  them,  into  the  field.  And  Jonathan 
said  unto  David :  '  O  Lord  God  of  Israel, 
when  I  have  sounded  my  father  about  to- 
morrow any  time,  or  the  third  day,  and  be- 
hold, if  there  be  good  toward  David  and  I 
then  send  not  unto  thee  and  shew  it  thee ; 


J 


THE  GREAT  FRIENDSHIPS 


201 


the  Lord  do  so  and  much  more  to  Jonathan ; 
but  if  it  please  my  father  to  do  thee  evil, 
then  I  will  shew  it  to  thee,  and  send  thee 
away,  that  thou  mayest  go  in  peace.  And 
the  Lord  be  with  thee,  as  He  hath  been 
with  my  father.  Thou  shalt  not  only  while 
I  yet  live  shew  me  the  kindness  of  the  Lord, 
that  I  die  not;  but  also  thou  shalt  not  cut 
off  thy  kindness  from  my  house  forever: 
no,  not  when  the  Lord  hath  cut  off  the 
enemies  of  David  every  one  from  the  face 
of  the  earth.'  So  Jonathan  made  a  covenant 
with  the  house  of  David,  saying,  '  Let  the 
Lord  even  require  it  at  the  hand  of  David's 
enemies.'  And  Jonathan  caused  David  to 
swear  again,  because  he  loved  him;  for 
he  loved  him  as  he  loved  his  own  soul. 
Then  Jonathan  said  to  David :  '  To-morrow 
is  the  new  moon ;  and  thou  shalt  be  missed, 
because  thy  seat  will  be  empty.  And  when 
thou  hast  stayed  three  days,  then  shalt  thou 
go  down  quickly,  and  come  to  the  place 
where  thou  didst  hide  thyself  when  the  bus- 
iness was  in  hand,  and  shalt  remain  by  the 
stone  Ezel.  And  I  will  shoot  three  times 
at  the  side  thereof,  as  though  I  shot  at  a 
mark.  And  behold  I  will  send  a  lad,  say- 
ing, "  Go,  find  out  the  arrows."  If  I  ex- 
pressly say  unto  the  lad,  "Behold,  the  ar- 
rows are  on  this  side  of  thee,  take  them ;  " 
then  come  thou,  for  there  is  peace  to  thee 


David 

and 

Jonathan 


202 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


David 
and 
Jonathan 


and  no  hurt,  as  the  Lord  liveth.  But  if  I 
say  thus  unto  the  young  man,  "  Behold,  the 
arrows  are  beyond  thee ;  "  go  thy  way,  for 
the  Lord  hath  sent  thee  away.  And,  as 
touching  the  matter  which  thou  and  I  have 
spoken  of,  behold,  the  Lord  be  between 
thee  and  me  forever.' 

"  So  David  hid  himself  in  the  field :  and 
when  the  new  moon  was  come,  the  King 
set  him  down  to  eat  meat,  and  David's  place 
was  empty.  Nevertheless  Saul  spake  not 
anything  that  day,  for  he  thought,  '  Some- 
thing hath  befallen  him,  he  is  not  clean, 
surely  he  is  not  clean.'  And  it  came  to 
pass  on  the  morrow,  which  was  the  second 
day  of  the  month,  that  David's  place  was 
empty;  and  Saul  said  unto  Jonathan  his 
son,  '  Wherefore  cometh  not  the  son  of 
Jesse  to  meat,  neither  yesterday  nor  to- 
day?' And  Jonathan  answered  Saul,  '  David 
earnestly  asked  leave  of  me  to  go  to  Beth- 
lehem. Therefore  he  cometh  not  unto  the 
King's  table.'  Then  Saul's  anger  was  kin- 
dled against  Jonathan,  and  he  said  unto 
him :  '  For  as  long  as  the  son  of  Jesse  liv- 
eth upon  the  ground,  thou  shalt  not  be  es- 
tablished, nor  thy  kingdom.  Wherefore 
now  send  and  fetch  him  unto  me,  for 
he  shall  surely  die.'  And  Jonathan  an- 
swered Saul  his  father,  and  said  unto  him, 
'Wherefore  should  he  be  slain?  what  hath 


THE  GREAT  FRIENDSHIPS 


203 


he  done?'  And  Saul  cast  a  javelin  at  him 
to  smite  him;  whereby  Jonathan  knew  that 
it  was  determined  of  his  father  to  slay 
David.  So  Jonathan  arose  from  the  table 
in  fierce  anger,  and  did  eat  no  meat;  for  he 
was  grieved  for  David,  because  his  father 
had  done  him  shame. 

"  And  it  came  to  pass  in  the  morning  that 
Jonathan  went  out  into  the  field  at  the  time 
appointed  with  David,  and  a  little  lad  with 
him.  And  he  said  unto  his  lad,  '  Run,  find 
out  now  the  arrows  which  I  shoot.'  And  as 
the  lad  ran,  he  shot  an  arrow  beyond  him. 
And  when  the  lad  was  come  to  the  place  of 
the  arrow  which  Jonathan  had  shot,  Jona- 
than cried  after  the  lad,  and  said,  '  Is  not 
the  arrow  beyond  thee?'  And  Jonathan 
cried  after  the  lad,  '  Make  speed,  haste,  stay 
not.'  And  Jonathan's  lad  gathered  up  the 
arrows,  and  came  to  his  master,  but  the 
lad  knew  not  anything:  only  Jonathan  and 
David  knew  the  matter.  And  Jonathan 
gave  his  artillery  unto  his  lad  and  said 
unto  him,  '  Go,  carry  them  to  the  city.'  And 
as  soon  as  the  lad  was  gone,  David  arose 
out  of  a  place  toward  the  south,  and  fell  on 
his  face  to  the  ground  and  bowed  himself 
three  times;  and  they  kissed  one  another 
and  wept  with  one  another,  until  David 
exceeded.  And  Jonathan  said  to  David: 
1  Go  in  peace,  forasmuch  as  we  have  sworn 


David 

and 

Jonathan 


204 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


David 

and 

Jonathan 


both  of  us  in  the  name  of  the  Lord,  saying, 
"  The  Lord  be  between  me  and  thee,  and 
between  my  seed  and  thy  seed  forever." ' 
And  he  arose  and  departed;  and  Jonathan 
went  into  the  city." 

Saul  hunted  David  day  and  night,  follow- 
ing him  in  swift  pursuit  from  place  to  place. 
Yet,  at  the  height  of  the  chase,  "  Jonathan, 
Saul's  son  arose  and  went  to  David  and 
strengthened  his  hand  in  God,  and  he  said 
unto  him :  '  Fear  not ;  for  the  hand  of  Saul 
my  father  shall  not  find  thee ;  and  thou  shalt 
be  king  over  Israel,  and  I  shall  be  next  unto 
thee;  and  that  also  Saul  my  father  know- 
eth.'  And  they  two  made  a  covenant  be- 
fore the  Lord;  and  David  abode  in  the 
wood,  and  Jonathan  went  to  his  house." 
This  was  their  last  meeting,  though  David 
stood  twice  at  the  side  of  the  sleeping  King 
and  held  his  life  in  his  hand,  but  would  not 
touch  him  to  harm  him.  Both  David  with 
the  company  that  gathered  about  him  and 
Saul  with  his  royal  soldiery  fought  the 
Philistines,  with  varying  success.  Jonathan, 
it  very  well  may  be,  v/as  beside  his  father 
on  the  morning  after  David  had  taken  his 
spear  from  the  sleeping  monarch,  when 
Saul  renewed  his  pledge  to  do  no  harm  to 
David;  if  so,  it  was  the  last  time  they 
looked  upon  one  another  in  life ;  for,  though 
Saul  kept  his  pledge  this  time,  both  he  and 


THE  GREAT  FRIENDSHIPS 


205 


Jonathan,  his  princely  son  and  heir,  went 
down  to  death  in  the  rout  of  the  Israelites 
at  Mount  Gilboa.  The  two  were  taken  from 
the  Philistines  at  Bethshan  by  the  valiant 
men  of  Jabesh-gilead,  "and  they  took  their 
bones  and  buried  them  under  a  tree  at 
Jabesh,  and  fasted  seven  days." 

Word  was  brought  to  David  while  he  was 
rejoicing  over  his  victory  at  Ziklag,  where 
he  inflicted  a  signal  defeat  upon  the  Amale- 
kites,  of  the  loss  of  his  King  and  father-in- 
law,  and  of  his  princely  friend,  Jonathan. 
Though  the  news  meant  David's  succession 
to  the  throne,  he  took  no  thought  of  any- 
thing save  his  own  loss,  and  the  lament  he 
then  composed  remains  the  best,  as  it  was 
the  first,  of  the  lamentations  of  the  sons 
of  men  for  friends  dead  and  gone,  as  fol- 
lows: 

"The  beauty  of  Israel  is  slain  upon  thy 
high  places:  how  are  the  mighty  fallen! 
Tell  it  not  in  Gath,  publish  it  not  in  the 
streets  of  Askelon;  lest  the  daughters  of 
the  Philistines  rejoice,  lest  their  daughters 
triumph.  Ye  mountains  of  Gilboa,  let  there 
be  no  dew,  neither  let  there  be  rain  upon 
you,  nor  fields  of  offerings;  for  there 
the  shield  of  the  mighty  is  vilely  cast  away, 
the  shield  of  Saul.  From  the  blood  of  the 
slain,  from  the  fat  of  the  mighty,  the  bow 


David 

and 

Jonathan 


206 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


David 
and 
Jonathan 


Abraham 
Cowley 


of  Jonathan  turned  not  back,  and  the  sword 
of  Saul  returned  not  empty. 

"  Saul  and  Jonathan  were  lovely  and  pleas- 
ant in  their  lives,  and  in  their  death  they 
were  not  divided:  they  were  swifter  than 
eagles,  they  were  stronger  than  lions.  Ye 
daughters  of  Israel,  weep  over  Saul,  who 
clothed  you  in  scarlet,  with  other  delights ; 
who  put  on  ornaments  of  gold  upon  your 
apparel.  How  are  the  mighty  fallen  in  the 
midst  of  the  battle !  O  Jonathan,  thou  wast 
slain  in  thine  high  places.  I  am  distressed 
for  thee,  my  brother  Jonathan;  very  pleas- 
ant hast  thou  been  to  me;  thy  love  to  me 
was  wonderful,  passing  the  love  of  women. 

"  How  are  the  mighty  fallen,  and  the 
weapons  of  war  perished !  " 

The  fame  of  friendship  which  so  long  had  told 
Of  three  or  four  illustrious  names  of  old- 


Orestes 
and 
Pylades 
as  told 
Lucian 
in  his 
"Amores" 


Phocis  preserves  from  early  times  the 
memory  of  the  union  between  Orestes  and 
Pylades,  who,  taking  a  god  as  witness  of 
the  friendship  between  them,  sailed  through 
life  together,  as  if  in  one  boat.  Both  to- 
gether put  to  death  Clytemnestra,  as  though 
both  were  sons  of  Agamemnon ;  and  Aegis- 
thus  was  slain  by  both.  Pylades  suffered 
more  than  his  friend  by  the  punishment 
that  was  on  the  track  of  Orestes.  Pylades 
stood  by  his  friend  when  he  was  condemned 


THE  GREAT  FRIENDSHIPS 


207 


to  exile.  They  did  not  limit  their  tender 
friendship  by  the  limits  of  Greece,  but 
sailed  together  to  the  farthest  boundaries 
of  the  Scythians :  one  of  them  sick,  the  other 
ministering  to  him.  When  they  had  come 
into  the  Tauric  land  the  fury  of  the  mother 
Orestes  had  slain  met  them;  while  the  bar- 
barians were  standing  round  in  a  circle 
Orestes  fell  down  and  lay  on  the  ground, 
seized  by  one  of  his  frequent  fits  of  mad- 
ness. Pylades  wiped  the  foam  from  his 
lips,  tended  his  body,  and  covered  him  with 
his  well  woven  cloak,  and  acted  not  only  as 
his  friend  but  like  a  father. 

When  the  barbarians  determined  that  one 
of  the  twain  should  be  put  to  death  on  the 
spot,  while  the  other  should  be  spared  to 
deliver  a  letter  at  Mycaenae,  each  wished  to 
remain  for  the  sake  of  the  other,  thinking 
his  own  life  better  than  saved  should  he 
save  the  life  of  his  friend.  Orestes  refused 
to  take  the  letter,  saying  that  Pylades  was 
the  worthier  messenger,  and  acting  more 
like  the  lover  than  the  beloved.  "For," 
said  he,  "the  slaying  of  this  man  would  be 
a  great  grief  to  me,  since  I  am  the  cause  of 
these  misfortunes,"  And  he  added,  "Give 
the  tablet  to  him."  Then,  turning  to  Py- 
lades, he  said,  "I  will  send  thee  to  Argos, 
in  order  that  it  may  be  well  with  thee;  as 
for  me,  let  any  one  kill  me  who  wishes." 


Orestes 

and 

Pylades 


2o8 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 


Orestes 

and 

Pylades 


Theoc- 
ritus 


Damon 
and 

Pythias 

as  told  by 

Valerius 

Maximus 

in  his 

"De 

Amicitiae 

Vinculo" 


Such  love  is  always  like  that;  for,  when 
from  boyhood  a  serious  friendship  has 
grown  up  and  it  becomes  full  grown  at  the 
age  of  reason,  the  long  loved  object  returns 
reciprocal  affection;  it  is  hard  to  determine 
which  is  the  lover  of  which,  for,  as  from  a 
mirror,  the  affection  of  the  lover  is  re- 
flected from  the  beloved. 

Two  men  each  other  loved  to  that  degree, 
That  either  friend  did  in  the  other  see 
A  dearer  than  himself.     They   lived   of  old, 
Both  golden  natures  in  an  age  of  gold. 

Damon  and  Phintias  (commonly  called 
Pythias),  fellow  initiates  in  the  Pythago- 
rean mysteries,  contracted  so  faithful  a 
friendship  for  one  another  that,  when  Dio- 
nysius,  the  tyrant  of  Syracuse  in  Sicily,  took 
it  in  mind  to  put  one  of  them  to  death  and 
yet  gave  his  consent  that  the  condemned 
man  should  return  to  his  home  to  set  his 
affairs  in  order,  the  other  did  not  hesitate 
to  give  himself  up  as  a  hostage  for  his 
friend's  return.  They  so  loved  one  another 
that  they  lived  together  and  held  everything 
either  owned  as  the  property  of  both.  He 
whose  neck  was  endangered  was  now  at 
large ;  and  he  whose  safety  was  secured 
him  was  now  in  danger  of  the  sword.  Every- 
body therefore  in  general,  and  Dionysius  in 
particular,  were  wondering  what  was  to  be 
the  outcome  of  this  unusual  and  doubtful 


THE  GREAT  FRIENDSHIPS 


209 


predicament.  As  the  day  of  execution  drew 
nearer  and  nearer  and  the  condemned  man 
was  still  far  away,  every  one  condemned 
the  one  who  had  stood  his  hostage  as  both 
stupid  and  rash.  Nevertheless  he  insisted 
that  with  such  a  friend  he  had  nothing  to 
fear  in  the  matter  of  constancy. 

So  it  fell  out:  On  the  moment  and  the 
hour  fixed  by  Dionysius  the  one  of  the  two 
friends  who  had  been  given  leave  to  absent 
himself  was  at  the  place  assigned  to  meet 
his  fate.  The  tyrant,  in  admiration  of  the 
staunchness  of  them  both,  remitted  the  sen- 
tence that  had  so  tried  their  loyalty.  This 
done,  he  asked  them  in  return  to  receive 
him  into  the  bonds  of  their  friendship,  say- 
ing that  he  would  make  his  third  place  in 
their  affection  agreeable  to  them  both  by  his 
utmost  good  will  and  effort. 

Such  indeed  are  the  powers  of  friend- 
ship: To  breed  a  contempt  of  death,  to 
overcome  the  sweet  desire  for  life,  to 
humanize  the  cruelty  of  tyrants,  to  turn 
hatred  into  love,  to  make  generous  amends 
for  punishment  to  which  powers  almost  as 
much  veneration  is  due  as  to  the  worship 
of  the  immortal  gods.  For  if  with  these 
rests  the  public  safety,  on  those  does  pri- 
vate happiness  depend;  and  as  the  temples 
are  the  sacred  domiciles  of  these,  so  of  those 


Damon 

and 

Pythias 


210 


Damon 

and 

Pythias 

Shake- 
speare 
"Henry 

V 
Act  iv, 
Sc.  6 


Walter 
Landor 


Honore 
de  Balzac 


Herbert 
Dunbar 


THE  WEALTH  OF  FRIENDSHIP 

are  the  loyal  hearts  of  men  as  it  were  the 
shrines  consecrated  by  some  holy  spirit. 

Suffolk  first  died;  and  York,  all  haggled  over, 
Comes  to  him,  where  in  gore,  he  lay  insteep'd 
And  takes  him  by  the  beard,  kisses  the  gashes, 
That  bloodily  did  yawn  upon  his  face; 
He  cries  aloud,  "Tarry,  dear  cousin  Suffolk! 
My  soul  shall  thine  keep  company  in  heaven: 
Tarry,  sweet  soul,  for  mine;  then  fly  abreast, 
As  in  this  glorious  and  well-foughten  field 
We  kept  together  in  our  chivalry!" 
Upon  these  words  I  came  and  cheered  him  up: 
He  smiled  me  in  the  face,  raught  me  his  hand, 
And  with  a  feeble  gripe,  says,  "Dear  my  Lord, 
Commend  my  service  to  my  sovereign." 
So  did  he  turn,  and  over  Suffolk's  neck 
He  threw  his  wounded  arm,  and  kissed  his  lips; 
And  so,  espoused  to  death,  with  blood  he  seal'd 
A  testament  of  noble-ending  love. 

I  know  not  whether  our  names  will  be 
immortal;  I  am  sure  our  friendship  will. 

The  perfection  of  loving-kindness  is  to 
efface  ourselves  so  thoroughly  that  those 
we  benefit  shall  not  think  themselves  in- 
ferior to  him  who  benefits  them, 

David  had  his  Jonathan,  Christ  his  John. 

Hold  God  thy  friend. 


